Thursday, October 14, 2010
Celebrity and Soon, More
FUTURE SENATOR
Trusted adviser!
ADVISER
Even for this new life?
FUTURE SENATOR
Hell yeah! Let's drink to it!
ADVISER
Lemonade, I hope.
FUTURE SENATOR
Yeah, since we've both ceased all forms of ingested shit.
ADVISER
I found out there's such a thing as morning.
FUTURE SENATOR
Me too. Pretty nice, mostly.
ADVISER
Depends on who you wake up with.
FUTURE SENATOR
Doesn't it?
ADVISER
Will you miss the variety?
FUTURE SENATOR
Huh?
ADVISER
Only present wife from now on.
FUTURE SENATOR
No Betty...or Butch?
ADVISER
Uh uh. Doesn't play in Peoria.
FUTURE SENATOR
What other way do you wanna put my balls in a vise?
ADVISER
You'll say what's pre-approved by me and the Party.
FUTURE SENATOR
Impotence to gain power.
ADVISER
And after also. The rest is illusion.
FUTURE SENATOR
I must be crazy to want the job.
ADVISER
Unparallel opportunities to steal.
FUTURE SENATOR
Check and double check. As you know, I pissed away just
about everything from the mega-celebrity days.
ADVISER
Everything but name recognition!
FUTURE SENATOR
Yeah, I got that, for better or for worse.
ADVISER
About half and half. They'll go after some of your quotes,
which I and my group have analyzed as one third inane,
one third incendiary, one third so vague as to indicate a cognitive disorder.
FUTURE SENATOR
Uh huh. Well I was flying or crashing when the
rabbit-ear reporters came around.
ADVISER
Our take is to laugh and then state that everybody grows up.
We're hoping like hell for a flood back home and you hoisting
the sandbags and pouring out the coffee for Real Americans.
FUTURE SENATOR
Hey I had enough of them! They stink, for one.
ADVISER
Just lodge this in what’s left of your brain:
they stink like money.
FUTURE SENATOR
Consider it lodged. It’ll fill the space where a
whole shelf just fell away.
ADVISER
And, of course, I was just kidding about stealing.
FUTURE SENATOR
About what?
Labels: celebrity, political adviser, senator
