Friday, October 23, 2015
Pres w/my name
Rap was he couldn’t walk and
chew gum at the same time.
Decent guy! Unlike the clownish
pricks in his party.
Like Sen_____ and his N-Joke Collection.
Avoided! late in his interminable service.
“Political Correctness has sunk this great republic!”
Labels: Gerald Ford, Political Correctness, racist, Republican, senator
Wednesday, October 07, 2015
Two Stages of Reaction
The new, scant millionaires are worried sick
most of the time! Government and everybody
else threatening to claw money back!
And always the atmosphere of violence!
Vocabulary of Hate! The children feel it at school.
The billionaires swim through the menace. Laugh. If it does come to guillotines and executioners, they’ll buy them.
And if that proves impossible, they’ll yacht to nations they already half own.
Their senators crewing.
Labels: billionaire, execution, executionor, guillotine, hate, millionaire, revolution, senator, Vocabulary of Hate
Tuesday, March 03, 2015
(or Don’t deride cyanide)
Capital Atmospheric
-You call him Senator Arguments?
-He makes them from all sides.
-Even arguing with himself?
-Brilliantly!
-After all of that, how does he know
how to vote?
-Easy! As he’s told.
-Supreme Court next?
-Doubtless!
Labels: argument, issues, puppet, rhetoric, senate, senator, Supreme Court
Monday, October 27, 2014
Senators in Victory!
Two Sens (Part 1 or 2)
-And the lesson to be drawn from
our mutual election? Twin triumphs!...
but this HAS to be my last Scotch!
-That the people wish us to continue
fucking them. And the night is young!
---
Two Sens (Part 2 or 1)
-Can’t tell if that’s a burp or a fart.
-No matter. Like a trumpet of triumph!
-Dicey for a bit, but the people reverted
to their natural stupidity.
-Money talks.
-And do we LISTEN!
Labels: business as usual, election, money in politics, political corruption, senator
Monday, June 09, 2014
Perpetual Debate Topic
-Well, more and more jobs! No mistaking
this recovery. At last!
-Pour me out another two fingers.
-You've been drinking my Democratic Scotch
for fifteen years!
-My Tea Partiers want it to be patriotic bourbon.
-And you better start paying for it. Show receipts
when you're hauled in.
-Hey! According to them, I should never be in your
impure company. But back to today's figures. You got permanently unemployed in there, not counted.
-Them. Once more into the breach!
-These simpletons will never work again. And you
Democrats don't give a shit!
-Historically, you Republicans never have! And never will!
-Yup, but don't know about the latter. Your nerdy scientists might get pigs flying yet.
Labels: Democrat, flying pigs, Republican, science, senator, unemployment, work
Friday, May 30, 2014
Champion of Whatever
Solon and Aide
-Whatever happened to Fiercely Independent Champion
of the Working Man and Woman?
-Not a thing. You keep saying it!
-Won't your Wall Street Bankers get pissed?
-You don't get to be a Wall Street Banker unless you
know everything is bullshit.
-Or a Senator?
-Church Dude...whatever. You name it!
-And your favorite movie, The Sound of Music?
-And you’re (sings) a bird that is learning to sing.
-The NRA wants me blasted away.
-No rhyming in the office!
-Where do you stand on Gun Control?
-I don’t stand anywhere. For anything. I persuade.
-What are you persuading your gun nuts to...?
-Not to bring a bazooka to a pea-shooting contest.
-The latter weapon will be a great help when the black
and Hispanic Marauders come down the hill!
-I’m persuading ‘em: Stay up there!
-Let’s start casting you as Peacemaker!
-Bi-fuckin-partisan!
Labels: black, bullshit, compromise, gun control, Hispanic, NRA, senator, Wall Street, Working Man, Working Woman
Monday, April 28, 2014
A Certain Fate
"Let me freshen your drink, Senator!"
Since John Q never in
Position to utter such
Magic words, he loses.
And loses inexorably.
Unsaved
In the Land of the Fried
And Home of the Bought.
Labels: bribery, corruption, John Q, money in politics, senator
Thursday, April 03, 2014
Rigging
-They stole the exam the department uses to throw weaksters out.
Then keyed the answers in patterns of six. So, start on six and
answers up to thirty-six would be a,b,c,d,e,f in sequence.
Thus Question Six fill in a, Seven, b, Eight c, and so on.
Then, skip five and start again on forty-two etc.
-In the skipped questions, you're on your own?
-Exactly.
-But it's still too fishy.
-Yeah, so they scattered wild cards.
-So, our heroes would get those wrong?
-Most likely. The idea is to pass, 70 or above. It was a bitchin
difficult test.
-All the suspect group passed, save our favorite senator?
-At first. But they ran the whole batch through the machine twice
to verify, and lo and behold, he got 70.
-On the nose!
-Took some doing. Couple of erasures, etc, in the confusion.
-Oh well, we all cheated in some manner in school. But it pretty
much ends there for a lot of folks.
-Not our favorite senator. A virtuoso!
-Not senator for much longer, anyway. That brokers consortium
scandal with all those foreign banks? He's toast!
-Nope. Aide confessed and said he was out of the loop. Our hero's
tearful apology already in the can. Along with promise to give any
proceeds he unconsciously derived to boy’s and girl's clubs, most
in black neighbrohoods.
-And him with a closet of Christian Awards!
-Peculiar you should choose that enclosure.
-No! You mean he...?
-Hunting and fishing trips with Honey-Boy!
-And his wife? Does she...?
-Busy with her own Bum of the Month.
-Jesus!
-Welcome to America!
-Uh uh! Just the Red State version. Besides, how come so many
want to come here?
-Their own country even more corrupt? Well...used to be.
Labels: America, bribery, corruption, personal life, red state, rigged exam, senator
Tuesday, March 04, 2014
Varieties of Prevarication
Senator and Aide
-Which lie will you support?–all naturally purporting
to help John and Jill Q Citizen.
-Which hurts me least?
-A.
-Most?
-C.
-Then let's go with B.
-Always the thoughtful compromiser. The new Henry Clay!
-Better than others they'll compare me to.
-My favorite is Hitler.
-Mine too. The busboys shrink out of the way.
-You stride this broad world like a Colossus!
-Very occasionally. Though I do love it!
-The next president!
-This swamp is enough. More tangled, and thus more bankable.
Labels: compromise, money in politics, political decision, political lying, senator
Friday, February 14, 2014
The Sound of One Hand Washing the Other
The Senator and His Friend
S Well, it stinks!
F Money does. So, anyway, you don't wanna be
associated with...?
S I don't want my NAME associated with.
Not the same thing.
F We'll call you David Blaine.
S Good! Like the magician.
F What will you make disappear?
S All decency.
F Hyperbole! Didn't your consultants tell
you to tone down the act?
S That's right.
F Or not Right enough?
S It any moreso, my White Charger woulda broken
down!
F We can't have that! So few represent virtue
nowadays.
Labels: deal, fishy, politics and money, Right, senator, virtue
Monday, June 24, 2013
Picking and Choosing
Elevator
-You mean the AC-DC Senator?
-Let's just say not narrow-gauged.
-Though party is.
-Love will find a way.
-Ways.
Labels: AC-DC, bi-sexual, love, senator, sexuality
Monday, June 17, 2013
"freedom"
Son and Senator
-It's a conservative country, but not maniacal.
-Unfortunately I need the maniacs.
-Freedom seems to mean the freedom to
do another's bidding.
-They teach you that at Dartmouth College?"
-I don't need Dartmouth College for that.
Labels: Dartmouth, extremists, freedom, senator
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Short Names and Old Politics
Sen “Rip” had the facts and figures;
his nemesis, Sen “Alf” the same.
They fired them at each other for a year.
No compromise on legislation seemed
possible. Presidential appointments, the same.
Rip took a phonecall from his state's governor--
of the other party. A bridge to be named
for him. The nickname would be bad form,
however. So very formal ceremony with his
full moniker on humongous bronze plate. While
at this time, his senate opponent found out that
a rec center would carry his name, beloved
diminutive accommodated in quotes. Back
after dedications, they happened on a compromise
existing in The District. Favoring Rip somewhat,
but one nonetheless.
Sen “Rip” had the facts and figures;
his nemesis, Sen “Alf” the same.
They fired them at each other for a year.
No compromise on legislation seemed
possible. Presidential appointments, the same.
Rip took a phonecall from his state's governor--
of the other party. A bridge to be named
for him. The nickname would be bad form,
however. So very formal ceremony with his
full moniker on humongous bronze plate. While
at this time, his senate opponent found out that
a rec center would carry his name, beloved
diminutive accommodated in quotes. Back
after dedications, they happened on a compromise
existing in The District. Favoring Rip somewhat,
but one nonetheless.
Labels: bridge, compromise, honor, naming, old politics, senator
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Senator, Just Drunk Enough
“I say those things for the scratch-ass rubes.
And their pseudo-Constitutional fetishes
and Camp-Meeting bellows--many of both
to do with sex.
That's a quarter.
Leadership forces my vote for their concerns,
plus equally uncomfortable ones.
That's another quarter.
But half of the time I'm an Eisenhower,
Main Street Republican.
That's what I want to be remembered for,
not the gross puke.”
“I say those things for the scratch-ass rubes.
And their pseudo-Constitutional fetishes
and Camp-Meeting bellows--many of both
to do with sex.
That's a quarter.
Leadership forces my vote for their concerns,
plus equally uncomfortable ones.
That's another quarter.
But half of the time I'm an Eisenhower,
Main Street Republican.
That's what I want to be remembered for,
not the gross puke.”
Labels: Constitution, Eisenhower Republican, religion, Right Wing, senator
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
The Way of the Transgressor is Hard
I’ve seen posh.
With Senator
for miscreant’s friend.
Thus, affecting
legislation.
If both get harshly caught,
pardons can be wrought.
And hath. Though messy
business--what with
God continuously invoked.
Whole foregoing toxicity
‘s called a system--in
case there’s a quiz.
I’ve seen posh.
With Senator
for miscreant’s friend.
Thus, affecting
legislation.
If both get harshly caught,
pardons can be wrought.
And hath. Though messy
business--what with
God continuously invoked.
Whole foregoing toxicity
‘s called a system--in
case there’s a quiz.
Labels: bribery, crony, senator, system
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
Senator (R) Being Eased Away
From Bipartisan Meeting, Drunk--
and Hardly the Only One
SENATOR
I don't give a fuck what you do,
as long as we get to protect
our billionaires.
AIDE
Senator being sarcastic. It's satire.
SENATOR
It's all satire. First thing I learned here.
AIDE
The Senator is for everyone getting the same chance!
SENATOR
Damn straight! But for the top five-percent
o Lord: Do not suffer the wind to whistle round their balls!
AIDE
Our car is here.
SENATOR
Why would you expect otherwise?
From Bipartisan Meeting, Drunk--
and Hardly the Only One
SENATOR
I don't give a fuck what you do,
as long as we get to protect
our billionaires.
AIDE
Senator being sarcastic. It's satire.
SENATOR
It's all satire. First thing I learned here.
AIDE
The Senator is for everyone getting the same chance!
SENATOR
Damn straight! But for the top five-percent
o Lord: Do not suffer the wind to whistle round their balls!
AIDE
Our car is here.
SENATOR
Why would you expect otherwise?
Labels: bipartisan, fiscal cliff, senator
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
The Senator Explains
The Trio. "Hell, we
won't kill you!
Unless insisting on
obnoxious blather,
rather set you free to
pursue the slimiest buck.
But not to forget who
makes it all possible.
Mastercard or Paypal fine.
But cash preferred.
Even to women.”
Labels: liberty, life, pursuit of happiness, senator
Monday, July 02, 2012
-Horses and Senators Sleep Standing Up, hey?
-Well this one did. Don't remember a word of
that speech. At any rate, I had burned the proverbial
candle the previous evening while celebrating the
humiliation of our despicable enemy.
-Ecstatic right wing blogs still can't shut up about the
speech even after all this time. “Brilliant! Incisive!
A philosophy of integrity presented without equivocation.”
-Equivocation huh?--my strongest suit.
-No longer. You're clad in the blinding armor of
righteousness! Smoting the barbarians!
-Too clanky. And smotey.
-Well what...?
-I had painted myself into one horrible corner.
When the other side put forth a resolution
praising me, I couldn’t vote for it.
-Out of humility?
-Out of Party!
-Be all that what it must. This is way it is with Champions: One True Way!
-I need a wavering drink.
-You need nothing. You're God!
-That never lasts.
-Well this one did. Don't remember a word of
that speech. At any rate, I had burned the proverbial
candle the previous evening while celebrating the
humiliation of our despicable enemy.
-Ecstatic right wing blogs still can't shut up about the
speech even after all this time. “Brilliant! Incisive!
A philosophy of integrity presented without equivocation.”
-Equivocation huh?--my strongest suit.
-No longer. You're clad in the blinding armor of
righteousness! Smoting the barbarians!
-Too clanky. And smotey.
-Well what...?
-I had painted myself into one horrible corner.
When the other side put forth a resolution
praising me, I couldn’t vote for it.
-Out of humility?
-Out of Party!
-Be all that what it must. This is way it is with Champions: One True Way!
-I need a wavering drink.
-You need nothing. You're God!
-That never lasts.
Labels: factionalism, Right, senator
Thursday, May 10, 2012
The Slave Auction--a short political novel
Chapter 1
-We call it that, Senator, just a joke. Your task as
newest man aboard is to get inside such jokes.
-Don't like the sound of it, anyway.
-You'll love it when you're there. Boozing it up and schmoozing the billionaires.
-I'll keep my independence. Never fear that!
-Uh huh?
Chapter 2
-It's all silent. Don’t bother watching me.
Just hand signals that’ll confuse you.
Chapter 3
-That's it? All over and we're leaving?
-Got what we wanted. Oh boy did we!
-Would you clarify for this rookie?
-General Electric bought you.
-No way!
-Way! They own you. You're one fortunate bastard!
-Nobody owns me.
-Be that as it may. Look! You have nothing
to worry about. Recite the speeches word for word. Constituent Services runs itself, so no worry there.
And the Party takes care of telling you how to vote.
-What's left for me?
-Why the Fourth of July! You can pour out
your freedom shit! You got some really
good shit there!
Labels: political corruption, senator
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Shhh!
-This a quiet room?
-Drop a bucket of bolts here, sounds like angels whispering.
-Well I don't have much time, Senator. Look!
Sixty percent of my business follows the
supply-demand curve and other MBA niceties.
-And the other forty?
-Piracy, frankly. And that's were you come in.
Pushing legislation to protect me.
-Do my best, but John Q. getting riled up.
-He's a fuckbrain! And if he had any guts, we'd
be sharing a cell in Leavenworth.
-I’d prefer Danbury, though the waiting list
for the tennis pro is rather long.
Labels: bribery, business, federal prison, senator
