Wednesday, September 18, 2013
All the Pretty Names
Entering the Political Process
When they change my name, I expect some
bureaucratic monstrosity such as Operant 19E,
but am pleasantly surprised.
I start using the multitudinous forms of ID they
send, and everyone remarks on the pretty name.
My girlfriend, Lilly of the Valley, says, "And I
thought I had a lovely name. This one beats it."
Feels good until the election. I'm not really
registered under the new name, so they give me
a provisional ballot.
I later learn I'm a ‘File 13.’ Those votes are trashed,
I go to my political friend, who shrugs. "You'll be
okay next time. Your name changed for the specific
purpose of knocking it out for this one election.”
“So your party would win!”
“It's no use playing if not to win.”
I join a class action suit and it actually
goes to trial. There the jury spends all its
time admiring our names. The judge finally
throws them out, and the suit.
Only I press for retrial, but my political friend says
his party will promise not to do it again, and give
me a new car.
Only a small electric, but does the trick.
So I have a pretty name and a pretty car. Lilly of the
Valley loves both immensely.
All’s well that ends etc. But, of course, you must
fight for your rights. For the good of the nation.
That never changes. Ever vigilant!