Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Hooray For Hollywood!
"Jidgey" Carker-Hollins turns into a huge banana.
Had been warned by physicians, but, like the rest
of us in other matters, mostly ignored them.
Happens at the office, like everything of moment
in his fated life.
Maintenance guys George 1 and 2 tasked by Boss,
Lippy Hoaks, to get rid of it. They drive the firm's
SUV to a Walmart lot and shove it out.
Captured by Security Cameras, and a speeded-up
version goes viral.
George 1 signed by an agent. George 2, hopeless.
He’s sent to Hollywood, and affects extra large
sunglasses. Also, an Oxford accent.
Cast as a professor Brit who turns into a rutabaga,
but, a colossal flop!
WHAT'S NEXT? headlines Variety. CUMQUATS?
The original banana metamorphosis is uncovered
as a fraud, and "Jidgey" arrested in El Salvador.
In the embrace of one, Conchita. Really.
The Republican Congress tries him, Exhibit A,
far past ripe on a large table. It proves to be
a sculpture comprised of a thousand ground-up
bananas under a skin of yellow Corinthian Leather.
Democrats attempt to comment on the stink,
but are caustically silenced by the Southern Chair.
His putdowns are legendary.
Those and Race have insured seniority.