Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Hooray For Hollywood!
"Jidgey" Carker-Hollins turns into a huge banana.
Had been warned by physicians, but, like the rest
of us in other matters, mostly ignored them.
Happens at the office, like everything of moment
in his fated life.
Maintenance guys George 1 and 2 tasked by Boss,
Lippy Hoaks, to get rid of it. They drive the firm's
SUV to a Walmart lot and shove it out.
Captured by Security Cameras, and a speeded-up
version goes viral.
George 1 signed by an agent. George 2, hopeless.
He’s sent to Hollywood, and affects extra large
sunglasses. Also, an Oxford accent.
Cast as a professor Brit who turns into a rutabaga,
but, a colossal flop!
WHAT'S NEXT? headlines Variety. CUMQUATS?
The original banana metamorphosis is uncovered
as a fraud, and "Jidgey" arrested in El Salvador.
In the embrace of one, Conchita. Really.
The Republican Congress tries him, Exhibit A,
far past ripe on a large table. It proves to be
a sculpture comprised of a thousand ground-up
bananas under a skin of yellow Corinthian Leather.
Democrats attempt to comment on the stink,
but are caustically silenced by the Southern Chair.
His putdowns are legendary.
Those and Race have insured seniority.
Labels: banana, business, Corinthian Leather, Metamorphosis, Republican, sculpture, seniority, Southern
Friday, May 02, 2014
Faith and Congress
Tap-Dancing in the House
-You came here an indifferent Christian.
-Comic-book version of Bible in my office.
-Then the Evangelicals steamrolled the party in your state.
-And The White Flame of Faith has shot from my ass ever since!
-How could you do it so fast? Metamorphose like that?
-Called Method Acting. Brando taught me. And Cockroaches.
-Uh huh? And what if by some Kafka-esque miracle, the whole
shebang turned atheist?
-Need you ask? God wouldn't bless our work, but who gives a shit?
-That last phrase encapsulates your service.
-Something has to.
Labels: atheist, Bible, Brando, cockroach, Congress, Evangelicals, faith, hypocrisy, Kafka, Metamorphosis
