Monday, October 05, 2015


Too Late To Escape

Smitty never got too far from the prison, the warden’s
brother in the next town putting him to work in his
hardware store.

Ten years had passed since his discharge, so he
became a good sport when the mayor of the prison
town asked him to join the celebration as it closed.

Actually, was to be the world’s largest pajama party, but
he signed on only for the interview on Good Morrow, Y’all.

There, Hoak and Betsy ran him through their conservative-liberal
shticks. Both wanted gloomy remembrances of the prison, but
he talked of the warden’s children playing hopscotch outside
his cell, and his wife bringing a comforter from the house when
Smitty got the flu.

Thereupon Hoak sneered of coddling, and Betsy launched into a
sermonette on rehabilitation.

At the break, Hoak whispered, “More Cagney, less Morgan Freeman.”

They showed pictures when back on the air of the last huge pajama
party at Edinburgh Castle. Dour Scots for the most part, but their
women charmingly swimming in men’s pajamas.

They had a clip, too, of a Guinness Man who wouldn’t commit, but
thought it was likely that their pajama party would edge out Edinburg’s.

When Betsy pressed Smitty about going, he told the pair he had to get
back to Cat Felix.

Thereupon, in the only spontaneous minute that show had ever seen,
he produced a snap of Felix from his wallet.

“White with the one black eye,” laughed Hoak.

Gushed Betsy “He’d be my cutie-patootie!”

Later, Spotlight columnist, See-All, commented “Cat steals show
from usual political squabblers!”

The mayor’s dithery man brought him to the bus, first showing
off the new, glitzy shopping center. The bright liquor store therein
had lousy security, so Smitty boosted a fifth of Seagram’s Seven.

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