Thursday, January 07, 2016
Two Caffeinated
Connoisseur
-You’re pretty European with your French Press,
but it’s just making coffee the old-fashioned way:
dump it in. Add hot, but no no no no!
NOT scalding water! Dearie Moi!
-Well, then...apres ze suitable wait, plunge ze
grounds to ze bottom.
-That’s the sissy part.
-Uh, European, as you say.
-When Great-Grandfather worked at the
railroad yards, they had a huge enamel pot
always on. Boiled, reboiled. No filtering.
-But, the grounds ultimately sunk to the bottom.
-That's when the real roughnecks liked it! Ones with
muscles in their shit? They said the last few cups
cleaned them out!
-Good Lord!
-Were on to something! Ever hear of Coffee Enema?
-If it comes to that, I want Kopi luwak!
-What could possibly be the dif…?
-Six hundred bucks the pound! Only the best!
-Golden asshole too?
-You peeked! Thus my modesty doth encore fail alas!
-Such a Drip!
-Another preferred brewing method.
------------------
Coffee Nerves
Plumber Hop quit the business finally.
Opened The Sump Pump Bar.
JERRY
Knocked off the decaf. Left Zombie Life thereby!
HOP
And the nerves presently? Fueled by 200% Columbian?
JERRY
Jingle-Jangle! Jangle-Jingle! A-screech! Shake, Rattle
and...Tremble! Tr-EMBLE!
HOP
And your Lorna?
JERRY
I’m here, ain’t I?
HOP
That bad?
JERRY
May I vulgarly quote?
HOP
I’ll cover one ear.
JERRY
“I can’t stand you one more fuckin second!
Out! Nervous Norvis!”
HOP
Coming from that pretty mouth!
JERRY
She’s not bad. Next to a dog’s ass I’d choose her.
HOP
A special category of praise.
Labels: bar, brewing, coffee, coffee nerves, enema, European, French Press, marriage, railroad, relationship
