Sunday, August 16, 2015
The Solution of Northern Murder
Detective Rack dumped out the
Swede's footlocker and placed every
article carefully in the empty room.
Most of the cold rooms of the Swede's
house proved empty.
He spent an hour revolving a fat figurine
from an Elsinore fair.
A barmaid, he concluded.
Didn't know Chief was in the vicinity.
Brought Swede in to pick up a warmer parka.
When accused saw the barmaid, he fainted.
"That's enough for me!" Chief declared.
But wasn't quite, because he took the sensitive
miscreant, once revived, out to a frigid shed,
where he picked up a frosty snapped-off
fencepost and threatened him.
Confession, of course, wrapped it up.
Even so, Rack still perused the other junk from
the footlocker.
TV considering a series based on Rack's cases.
“I thought TV about action,” I, his sometimes
partner, remarked.
Evidently not, for they had to leave out the
fencepost in the pilot.
But they still had Racky.
Labels: clues, Detective Series, murder, Northern, pilot script, Swedish, violent policing
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Only in America
The Dollar Store Detective
told Hasan Morrisey of the
City Police that the killer
used an electric toothbrush.
Sure enough, a check of the
more notorious flophouses
yielded Scutz Halp, and he,
and spinning brush, seized.
Soon, State Police started dropping
by, and DSD perused their files while
stocking shelves.
The real Jewel in the Crown was
the FBI, with agents helping him
unload a truck.
Dorine and Max, the owners, first
thought to fire him, but when Channel
Six 'Panic News and Worse Weather' came
along, they learned his publicity value.
Too, Dorine had a video camera and starting
filming, with Max as director.
They sold the store--no time!--but the genius
criminologist remained there to be a consultant
to D&M Productions as they signed Hillman
Dempsey, the former "Roger Brillands, Dance
Instructor Sleuth," to play him in a new series.
Labels: Detective Series, Dollar Store, TV
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Television Life
In Chad, Dr Z of Ed-
ucation Ministry sub-
limates radical bent
with favorite Italian
detectives, Colombo
and Montalbano. Here,
situation comedies
underline the quirks
friends see in us.
The world is TV
pure and simple.
Our lifetime shorter, murk-
y pond smaller, though
we're pleasing as odd,
blinking fish, quoted
and admired if, on
occasion, mocked.
In Chad, Dr Z of Ed-
ucation Ministry sub-
limates radical bent
with favorite Italian
detectives, Colombo
and Montalbano. Here,
situation comedies
underline the quirks
friends see in us.
The world is TV
pure and simple.
Our lifetime shorter, murk-
y pond smaller, though
we're pleasing as odd,
blinking fish, quoted
and admired if, on
occasion, mocked.
Labels: Columbo, Detective Series, Montalbano, situation comedies, television
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Trio, Distaff
Three housewives form detective agency
(tentatively slotted for Fox, Fall)
Mrs X, Psychic
Mrs Y, gabby, but nuggets if you're patient
Mrs Z, scientific, travels with microscope,
ordinarily says little
Theme plays, vaguely Jewish. Twin flutes,
drifting above a classy do.
Y My daughter, Nan, ran away with a man.
(Incoherent tirade re men)
Z Be all that vitriol as it may, I need
to get into her room. Clues.
Names from old dance programs.
Y Her dancing not a worry at present.
X I...see a beach.
Z Better she’s outside. Health.
X It's from Survivor. Spearing fish.
Y (goes off on discussion of buttercreams)
X There's...a different beach and two men.
Z Menage de trois say French.
Y Leave them out of it. It's filthy enough.
X And now there's a...third man!
Y Busybody! She got into everything as
a little girl.
Z We must discover the third man's theme!
Y Put it on the TV. Let the whole world know
my family's disgrace!
X Let's all have tea. And Entenmanns.
Flutes return, fade.
Three housewives form detective agency
(tentatively slotted for Fox, Fall)
Mrs X, Psychic
Mrs Y, gabby, but nuggets if you're patient
Mrs Z, scientific, travels with microscope,
ordinarily says little
Theme plays, vaguely Jewish. Twin flutes,
drifting above a classy do.
Y My daughter, Nan, ran away with a man.
(Incoherent tirade re men)
Z Be all that vitriol as it may, I need
to get into her room. Clues.
Names from old dance programs.
Y Her dancing not a worry at present.
X I...see a beach.
Z Better she’s outside. Health.
X It's from Survivor. Spearing fish.
Y (goes off on discussion of buttercreams)
X There's...a different beach and two men.
Z Menage de trois say French.
Y Leave them out of it. It's filthy enough.
X And now there's a...third man!
Y Busybody! She got into everything as
a little girl.
Z We must discover the third man's theme!
Y Put it on the TV. Let the whole world know
my family's disgrace!
X Let's all have tea. And Entenmanns.
Flutes return, fade.
Labels: Detective Series, TV
