Tuesday, November 01, 2016
The man who knew little else
often fell back on his
five favorite subjects.
Then one day he forgot
even them.
He didn't panic, having seen
similar in his older friends
at the diner.
Stayed in his room a week
and studied five new subjects.
Acutally, one wasn't new, but
he didn't know it.
Off to the diner, then with a sort of
unwritten diploma he granted himself.
He did well in disputes when he steered
the discussion to one of his expert areas.
Especially well in Baseball Statistics,
American League--no wonder, it was one
of his old subjects.
Lumpy Osgood, cameraman, heard him one
morning and told Hasgood Hetterly of
Good Morning Muncie!
Who had him on.
Now, Hasgood brought everything softly
around to sex–-this showbiz “edge” made
suitable to Hoosiers.
Impossible with our scholar since he knew
absolutely nothing in that area.
He threw out many baits but our chum
recited the batting averages of players of
Ukrainian origin.
“Don't ever tout me anyone like that again!”
Hasgood later cautioned Cameraman Lumpy.
Labels: argument, Baseball, diner, eccentrics, favorite subjects, sex, TV
Sunday, May 22, 2016
Matters of Privacy
Denham kept to himself. Fact known in the small
apartment house.
But the twin sisters brought him a rice pudding, a
custom, they explained, on this day of St Ambrose,
the Grocer.
Much girlish amusement as to nothing ever done
for St Ambrose the Good!
In that relatively warm, if ecclesiastical, atmosphere,
Denham made tea.
When you got the twins on your hands, this the
quickest way to get rid of them.
He promised to return the bowl, but they said
no hurry. So he washed and polished it over a
week, to give the gossips no ammunition.
Then, stored it a bit, next to his Giants mugs.
For Deirdre, the twin with the shooting eye, had died.
He made his way to her viewing in their apartment,
hoping to be the last.
He was, and at the end mentioned the bowl to Destiny,
who blinked and blinked claiming it wasn't important
for now.
Denham took a deep breath, in preparation for his
escape, but when he got his hand on the doorknob,
it just tuned and turned in a lumpy circle.
No use calling Arthur, who was resting his bad back
and wouldn't come anyway.
She closed Deirdre's coffin and put on popcorn.
Announcing both that they were two adults, and that
there would be no silly mourning prohibitions either,
including not watching the Giants and Eagles in the
Thursday night game just starting.
Labels: apartment house, death, Eagles, eccentrics, football, funeral, funeral customs, Giants, gossip, loneliness, saints, sex, twins
