Sunday, December 03, 2017
God’s Gift to Women
No jest.
Kvetching fe-
males missed
his Miracle
of Divine
Largess!
Labels: fired, lecher, sex, womanizer, workplace
Thursday, June 22, 2017
Hohenzollern Anthonys
Tells you his first name
after Kings, his second the
great Roman General and
Lover!
“But plural there, since one of me
not enough for the ravenous
women of today’s world!”
A joke.
You escape! And aforementioned
hungry females laugh scornfully.
Such a man heads for modern disaster.
The first serious manifestation when
he's fired. The new management team
delegates a fresh vice-president to
give plural-boy the word.
Laurel Inglesby Cartz brings the
articulate, and even scientific,
case to a small, special office.
When she finishes, flushed,
instead of hearing an Angel Chord,
she discovers he's asleep.
He explains that it's so messy,
fatigues him, and suggests they
clean it together.
Miss Neat Freak agrees.
Anyway, she discovers what all the
ridiculing distaffs and Personnel
Solomons have missed: Character.
Decides then and there, so sick she
of usual male-female falderal.
Three adoring little daughters later...
Uh huh, yup, she had fired him, and
then hired him for the long run.
Cornball enough for you?
“Wait till they're teens,” you warn.
“At least one will tell him to go
fuck himself!”
To a truly loving man, won't happen.
Oh well, enough of this variety of
impossible story!
Just...maybe...he succeeds because
he's not too bright?
Possibly. But cleverness too often
outshone by natural maturity.
But. Generally. How YOU doing,
Smartass?
Labels: fired, jargon, names, natural maturity, personnel fashions, story
Monday, March 27, 2017
Dirge of the Salesman
-The women tied up the airport
with Chief Complaint Day! So I
missed my appointment with
Old Man Tompkins and his kid.
-YOUR chief complaint?
-They got me fired last time.
Said I was a drunk.
-Were you?
-Went fake AA and Chubby Carl took
me back.
-And your record since?
-More misses than hits. More hangovers
than triumphs.
-Thinnest ice?
-You get used to it.
-By the way, what is the women's Chief
Compliant anyway?
-They're working up to it.
Labels: AA, demonstration, drunk, fired, salesman, women, women's rights
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
The Daisy
Laid off from the latest.
Got three-month contractor gig,
starting next month.
So Jensy and I and her little Rita
took a week in the mountains,
before the ski bums even thought
of marching in.
The boy at the desk told Rita:
still a few flowers in the little
copse next to the hotel.
He had seen a daisy.
Rita itched to go there, but
we held her for breakfast.
She had insisted on wearing
her pink party dress.
Kind of frilly pinafore thing, and
so Jensy asked her to change
before...
But no go, so off she went
as we watched from the
almost chilly porch.
We could see pink swatches,
mostly bending, and irregular
snow bits shaken loose.
Returned with the daisy, scarlet
face a mass of triumphant tears.
We joined in.
Labels: contractor, contractor economy, employment insecurity, fired, laid off, ski, vacation
Wednesday, October 08, 2014
Retread
-I can let you go, or you can become one
the kids again. At a fifth of the salary.
-I'll do it! Gwen has saved.
-You'll be treated like shit.
-Looking forward to it!
-Welcome to Capitalism where they grind
your balls off!
-That's just reality. I'm encouraged!
-And after reading all that shit in the business
press about indomitable spirit, here I thought
it was only for CEOs!
Labels: Capitalism, fired, layoff, pay reduction, retread, survivor
