Friday, November 17, 2017
His Own Man
Ralphie the Salesman had
two bosses, and never
knew which would show.
Teresa Wong founded
Chinese Women Warriors
on historical evidence.
She taught Oriental Studies
at Baruch College.
But, somehow, was the only
Chinese member of the group
presently.
Ralphie's wife Kesselly belonged.
This night she goes to a meeting.
Ralphie has invited Hart Lizzo
to watch the Yanks against Clevelnd
on TV.
Hart his retired mentor at Glurtzman Industries.
He fades in just after Kess storms out in her
warrior outfit.
The game goes well, the men awash
in Bud and Fritos.
Yanks lead by ten! after only two
innings.
Cleveland being humiliated, and
Ralphie loves humiliation.
Hart eventually snores lightly,
but gets startled awake at the
announcers shouting, and
pronounces
"Oceans of bullshit!"
When Kess get home it takes the two
of them to wake him.
Next day at work Hanzy asks him what
Burke has instructed, and nods sarcastically.
Truth is Ralphie did what he pleased, and told
whichever boss in range that the other boss
had okayed it.
Thus he bought the cheapest chocolates
Walgreen sells for Mrs Renton of Renton LLC
who had come through with fewer orders lately.
She's touched! Gives him three quick orders
on the spot.
He has bought the identical box for his wife.
No occasion, just ‘Love Day!’ as he’ll tell her.
He has a plan for Teresa Wong and her too.
Feeling that the Chinese Warrior Women
has descended into gossip, and that
Teresa too busy to care, he researches
small hand axes on the web. Gives them
one each.
Ends up storing several in the basement.
Correctly, because General Linda Snelling,
will tell him to send them all to her.
And bill The Warriors.
Then Dr Teresa Wong gains interest again,
devising a drill for the women where,
of course, they brandish the axes at the
piggish War Lords.
At the Yankee game a few weeks later, Hart
intones through snores, “Oceans of Bullshit.”
“Yeah, and beautiful!”
Even the Yankees being humiliated by
the Red Sox can't deflate a Salesman!
Labels: Baseball, Chinese, gifts, salesman, salesmanship, women, Yankees
Monday, March 27, 2017
Dirge of the Salesman
-The women tied up the airport
with Chief Complaint Day! So I
missed my appointment with
Old Man Tompkins and his kid.
-YOUR chief complaint?
-They got me fired last time.
Said I was a drunk.
-Were you?
-Went fake AA and Chubby Carl took
me back.
-And your record since?
-More misses than hits. More hangovers
than triumphs.
-Thinnest ice?
-You get used to it.
-By the way, what is the women's Chief
Compliant anyway?
-They're working up to it.
Labels: AA, demonstration, drunk, fired, salesman, women, women's rights
