Wednesday, July 06, 2022
Dynamic
Woman forgot nothing marries--adds
to everyone's burdens presently!
Except Groom’s, a steady-state-
drunk laughing this newest farce
away. Both tribes despair
at the ludicrous match, fret
fate of Clans' staid bourgeois
reputations when kids erratically born?
So what? Life, itself, struggles
regardless. "Big Deal!" tee-
totales she between his un-
conscionable belts of crap-booze:
Endless Loop!
Yeah, but our Bride smells nice still!
Meantime Groom-Souse drops vile
poop, proclaiming the grunting-while
his muddled stores of bitterly disagreeing knowledge as the only way to begin getting anywhere in learned discourse. For answer, she
giggles here and there as to him as
“#1 sexy bastard going!” (referencing
those few times he’s half-sober…
or brutally hungover.)
They’ve bought motorcycle!
She, only, drives for he's
forever fogged when plotting
to seek a license.
But and a MUST! She’s only happy In CONTROL. That never, ever, has
changed. Nor will.
Uh, True Love, then, knows more
then it lets on? That awfully Weird,
Yes?
Nope. Is what is...just is!
That's all.
Labels: change, control, couple, drunk, Family, middleclass, motorcycle, personality, pose
Friday, November 16, 2018
The Fate of Some Quotes… & Odors
first night she’s asked
Is it still the same old glory,
the fight for love and story?
“He had it bass-ackwards!”
she tells Shift Partner,
Jippy Erst after they book
the pie-eyed questioner.
“At any rate, it obviously
reeks of piss,” shrugs he.
“It’s bad enough to ever smell
it just a little off yourself!”
“Could ruin a lot of things,”
he nodded.
Labels: allusion, drunk, fear, personal, police, quote, urine
Monday, March 27, 2017
Dirge of the Salesman
-The women tied up the airport
with Chief Complaint Day! So I
missed my appointment with
Old Man Tompkins and his kid.
-YOUR chief complaint?
-They got me fired last time.
Said I was a drunk.
-Were you?
-Went fake AA and Chubby Carl took
me back.
-And your record since?
-More misses than hits. More hangovers
than triumphs.
-Thinnest ice?
-You get used to it.
-By the way, what is the women's Chief
Compliant anyway?
-They're working up to it.
Labels: AA, demonstration, drunk, fired, salesman, women, women's rights
Saturday, March 19, 2016
College: getting in, getting on
Gritting of Teeth
-Larry didn’t get into State. Letter yesterday.
-A shame. My office will send you a list of
courses he should take in the junior college.
Then, next semester...?
-Be automatic?
-Nothing is. Just let me know when he’s
applying. Which you should have done
this time! Why didn’t...?
-Because I hate to owe!
-Grit your teeth, Joe, way things done.
...
Her Mother and Rachel Discuss Freshman Year
at Rosary College
-I put you with good Catholic girls.
-Well...trying to be good, let’s say.
-That’s the same as good.
...
Routes to the Top
-Aren’t you just a bit apprehensive about
getting in? I kept rearranging my application
materials before sending the whole package
off. Then I got sick!
-Good luck! I’m all set.
-Why the confidence?
-As a alcoholic, and the son of social boozehounds
of the highest order, I’ve met the important
people.
-And that should do it?
-Where you been?
-A planet where you study all the time!
-That might not hurt.
Labels: Catholic, class, college, college admission, drunk, Jew, who you know
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Father of Daughters, Father of Sons
1)
Startled awake by discordant sobs
from two rooms.
With Cecily, Aunt Dot in nightgown and
army jacket.
"What the hell is going ON?"
She nodded toward the other bedroom where
Dinah’s noise had risen to retching.
There would his wife be, putting her finger
to her lips as a signal he should say nothing.
Two smashed romances, he guessed. But couldn't
visualize the individual males.
He held a generic one in his mind: stolid and
stupidly hormonal.
Walked out the garage to the freezing driveway.
The aunt's car whooped away, the door open.
He turned it off and closed the door and locked
it with the key. Put it in his robe pocket.
Three snow-streaked driveways over, spinning lights,
blue and red.
He walked towards them, his slippers crunching out
the wails from the house.
2)
Jumped from bed at the room pulsing red and
blue. When he got to the front door he could
see the slice of driveway with strident Budgey
on the ground being cuffed by the older cop,
and silent Hap running in the roadway, pursued
by the younger one.
No contest. Drunk B quickly exhausted, and
returned like a bundle. Then cuffed as well.
But left standing.
“What the hell...?” the father began.
"Suspicion of DUI," as officer coached the
manacled Budgey to his feet. "Quite one
weird chase from 7-11!"
The Dad allowed to check both as they protested
slurred innocence.
"They gotta be tested now. Send your lawyer in
the morning."
"A mother sleeping through all this?" shrugged the
younger one.
"She's at a conference for teachers."
Both cops nodded.
Right after the squad car extracted its colors, and
culprits, and the open doors of the remaining car
slammed shut, the two fathers stared dimly at each other
as black snow began softly falling.
Labels: cold, cops, daughters, drunk, DUI, family emergencies, Fathers, Romance, sex, snow, sons
Sunday, February 07, 2016
Short, But w/ Family Emotion
When Uncle Rack gave Bertsy a used laptop for college, he requested a Thank-You note practically instantly.
Phoned often, ostensibly to talk football, the university ranked.
Finally, drunk, both, Bertsy and roommate Ock, return laptop to sunporch.
“Thanx unc but decided to go cuneiform!” note avers
"Goddamn brat gotta lot t'learn!"
Labels: cheap, cheapskate, college, control, cuneiform, drunk, laptop
Saturday, January 23, 2016
Winter Tale
Jammy
didn’t know how to say goodbye.
The name had stuck from childhood, something
to do with pajamas.
One drunken night we taught him exit lines on
the order of Well, gotta get going. I’m already
in trouble with Cynthia, Belle, Brennan, Ruth etc.
...few more reasons of that imaginative ilk.
“But you guys don’t understand. I’m so ferociously lonely!”
We pretended not to. Pushed him out the door into a wind
of slanting ice.
Resumed.
Labels: drunk, exit line, friends, gregarious, ice, loneliness, pajamas, snow, talkative, wind, winter
Tuesday, January 06, 2015
The Drunk and the Congressman
-Instead of spending billions to go into
a country to destroy it, and then even
more billions to rebuild it, why not...?
-Just not go in at all?
-Too much common sense?
-One way to put it. But our contributors have
fingers in the pie. And need the other hand free
to salute.
-Patriotism and mega-cash?
-That’s it! Show Business–-no business like.
-Hey! I’M the bitter souse here!
-Move over!
Labels: boondoggle, Congressman, drunk, money in politics, patriotism, rebuilding, Show Business, war
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Critical Analysis
The Golden Third
Well, did you like Rompsey?
Not really. What’s that last dreadful thing
he said?
"A bottle for a night, a woman for a week,
but a garden for life!"
Drunken male-chauvinist pig!
But not his last third.
I don’t know about that!
Hey! We all have that, then world’s okay.
Labels: drunk, gardden, male chauvinism, sexist
Thursday, March 27, 2014
The Return
Life Story
His existence in the city exploded: fired as a drunk, and
Jen getting final decree, Mips thought he’d just stay in place.
No reason.
But Arthur texts cd use u as mom dad altzheim tgthr.
On the empty train platform of rainy midnight, he bellows
“Welcome Back Great Success!”
The cab stuck at a light, ghosts of other rainy midnights
in the red windshield as the wipers crawl.
Labels: Alzheimer, divorce, drunk, home, return
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Two Friends Go Into a Bar:
Hearing the Pronouncement
“All around Obama are Communists!”
-Didn’t he once say “All around Bush are Fascists!” ?
-That was his brother.
-Equal Opportunity Drunks.
Labels: Bush, Communist, drunk, Fascist, Obama
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Cardinals at Pool
Two cardinals shoot Nine-Ball as the seminarian
enters with his more than tipsy guest.
-Oh I’m sorry your eminences! We thought the room
was empty.
He shoves the aromatic drunk but not before:
-I hear the new pope’s a darky!
If possible
to turn inside out from embarrassment,
the seminarian borders on the state.
-Now don’t treat your guest roughly on our
account.
We knocked around this raw world before the cloth.
-He...well we both a bit, uh, imbibed.
-Admirable frankness, so let me respond in kind.
You may be looking at the next Pope.
-You’re kidding! Oh I’m sorry!—we’re just all
disrespect.
-It’s not me. That shark that just banked in the
nine ball, whole-table length?
The drunk, feeling left out of the ecclesiastical
moment, blurts
-Gotta know your bank shots for the job then?
The winner bellowing
-Wouldn't be surprised!Labels: Cardinal, drunk, Nine-Ball, pool, Pope, seminarian
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Jocko
blogged for a political site but was more
a reporter from the untidy 1930s.
A fiscal conservative and social libertine,
he exhibited the latter role by getting
drunk nightly.
Always capped the evening off with a speech,
and regular people would linger for this moment.
Barflies remained anyway–to severely criticize it after.
One night he got nabbed by cellphone camera.
How a small jewelry shop owner got ruined by the IRS
immediately went almost viral on the net. Now it
had been one of his few peripatetic efforts, and he
finally collapsed against cases of Capt O’Bell’s
India Pale.
His followers in the storeroom chanced to block the photographer,
who thus missed that crashing finish.
Owner Bart quipped “First time that shit moved!”
Phone call from Republican election guy in
a brace of noons.
"We want you to run for something. You’re all over
the TV!"
"Yeah? What?"
"Any fuckin thing."
"But I was drunk!"
"So? You got edge. At the present we have
bookkeepers and accountants who double-
majored in Boring and Stealing."
"I won't hear about them this way. They’re patriots!"
"Well give ‘em a flag. I’m here to win elections!"
blogged for a political site but was more
a reporter from the untidy 1930s.
A fiscal conservative and social libertine,
he exhibited the latter role by getting
drunk nightly.
Always capped the evening off with a speech,
and regular people would linger for this moment.
Barflies remained anyway–to severely criticize it after.
One night he got nabbed by cellphone camera.
How a small jewelry shop owner got ruined by the IRS
immediately went almost viral on the net. Now it
had been one of his few peripatetic efforts, and he
finally collapsed against cases of Capt O’Bell’s
India Pale.
His followers in the storeroom chanced to block the photographer,
who thus missed that crashing finish.
Owner Bart quipped “First time that shit moved!”
Phone call from Republican election guy in
a brace of noons.
"We want you to run for something. You’re all over
the TV!"
"Yeah? What?"
"Any fuckin thing."
"But I was drunk!"
"So? You got edge. At the present we have
bookkeepers and accountants who double-
majored in Boring and Stealing."
"I won't hear about them this way. They’re patriots!"
"Well give ‘em a flag. I’m here to win elections!"
Labels: blog, boring, Conservative, drunk, election, Libertine, politics, stealing, TV
Sunday, December 16, 2012
It all came back to him now. Like
Sinatra, Pippy had lived
a life that’s full—minus a few women.
the Kool Kup’s Karaoke Night.
Highlighted by Yocko’s girlfriend,
Big Boobs Gladys, as he
sings of travelling each and every highway:
“Yeah, on your knees!”
This proves chief zinger among many.
Yocko has already chimed in with “Your way? Everybody
else’s, more like!”
Even Silent Lucy sings her little
parody in the space where
Pippy puts the mike down to sip a drink and light a
cigarette,
a la Frank. “Regrets, you’ve had a million!”
cares about what a buncha drunks thinks? Besides, it’s the
wrong crappy song for you.”
yourself a target.”
Labels: character, criticism, drunk, Karaoke, My Way, Sinatra
