Friday, March 04, 2016
Hollow Loss
When the sawmill left the mountain,
joining the factories, most of the
houses were boarded up as their
inhabitants sought work in the city.
Through some miracle of God,
the squabbling legislature voted
a new tourist lodge. Five hundred jobs
when finished!
If you knew someone, or bought in,
or both.
My family did some picking and
singing, so we were signed up
as entertainers. Didn’t cost us much.
Since Grandpa told the corniest
jokes in Christendom, our act
evolved to a short musical:
Hillbilly Annals.
Because we got our meals also, went
awfully well.
Until Grandma wandered off.
Some of those black hollows too
treacherous to search, thus
never found.
After a month, Grandpa starting
saying in the act that a bear ate
her and immediately died.
Don’t get put off! That’s our humor.
Labels: economic depression, economy, hillbilly, humor, mountains, Show Business
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Communities In Percentage of Intelligence, Example 1
-The only Austrian village comprised entirely of idiots.
-I don't believe it.
-Professor Lewistone, my mentor, didn't either.
-Skeptical in everything!
-Naturally. So he sent me to investigate.
-And you plugged in all the models?
-Mostly the American one of forty percent.
-And that confirmed...?
-No go. Others failed also. So I spoke to each citizen.
-And some were idiots and some...
-Nope. All idiots. My report confirmed.
-But how could they run a village? You'd have chaos.
-Not quite, at least not always. I was present at an important
meeting. First of all, everyone had a wonderful time!
-I can imagine.
-And, actually an agenda item in there! Appointing police officer.
-What criteria would...?
-After much disassociated screaming, they settled on Katrina...
with the proviso that she wear polka dot panties. She misunderstood, so that's all she wore the first duty day.
-Cold!
-But off the chart cute! So much so that everyone wore them
after that.
-Men too?
-None of that stuff makes any difference there.
-And did they keep on being happy ever after? As in the
fairy tales?
-Until the election. Then you got the usual vituperation.
-And an idiot won?
-Per usual.
Labels: Austria, intelligence, mountains, politics, village idiot
Friday, December 06, 2013
Importance of the Longevity of Aubergine
21st Century Warfare
They droned them quite dead, three
spare children in a row, and then built
a school could be placed down in California.
People came from a hundred miles to see it.
I complained that my children couldn't attend such
an edifice, so they compensated me with two crates
of eggplants. Purply plump!
We're very high in the mountains, never grown here,
so we worked them into our traditional recipes.
Too, an old gardener took the seeds and nursed them
in his hut. Eventually hitting on a strain we could use.
Now we're famous for our eggplant dishes, and the school
is falling apart.
The rebels store arms in the Arts Pod.
Labels: arts, drone, eggplant, mountains, school, war
