Sunday, July 09, 2017
Maryanne Performances
answered the door:
“I think I’m dying!”
I quick got Steady Hal
on my cell. Yelled he
on Speaker: “No you’re not!
Is this any way to greet
your date?”
Wandering Wanda and her
Fixed Cliff then made the scene.
When Hal and Lingering Loretta
showed, Maryanne was into
modeling dresses for the Dance.
We were unanimous on a Chartreuse one
and she mega-brightened. A real beauty!
Really! Palest Blonde imaginable.
The women helped tart her up. Almost late!
I handed her my yellow roses in the limo.
Is that a good one?
No matter since it was off to the First Annual
Bridesburg Association Ball and Bingo! (The latter for the terminal farts.)
Labels: dance, eccentric friends, friends, modeling, neighborhood, neighborhood association, nickname, seniors
Monday, May 25, 2015
Neighb Asso
At the neighborhood association meeting to plan
the July 4th Picnic, Mackey asks how to vanish
without a trace.
Rosa Tessler, stuck with President this year, answers
“You’re not the type. Just being here shows civic
responsibility...or something.”
“Well, last year I missed, and got stuck with the Beanbag
Toss, and the teens use that for...well, mix marijuana
with lust.”
“Just why we need somebody like you in there policing!”
Bink Hoxley picked up on the “vanishing” theme.
“Impossible in this day and age! Can’t vanish. No way!
We’ll get yuh anyplace.”
Millie Jaegers inquired “Just how old is this Scotch?”--
but that was later at the Thoreau Club meeting.
(Before we get accused of being literary, Thoreau as
in Th-ROW drinks back!)
Old Man Carruthers cracked “Nothing on the label, so at
least a month.”
After everybody got cheaply mellow, Mackey’s question
re disappearing was again taken up. More informally,
if that’s possible.
“Knock off the Dollar Store deodorant, and you gotta
head start!”--from Cliff N. T. Baumer, who could use some.
Labels: disappearance, July 4, neighborhood, neighborhood activities, neighborhood association, Thoreau
Sunday, November 30, 2014
u may know some
Neighborhood Association
Bixxy projected what was on his iPad. Rectangular map filled
in with images of association parties, mostly happy
or snarling children.
Then, suddenly, red blotches equidistant along the edge!
“These represent families of demons,” he stated.
“But, how can you tell? What do they DO?” asked Mary Detzy Hope.
“Right now, just routiney demony things. Early stage, thus
this meeting.”
“Thank God I didn’t marry you! Another flatly awful
answer!”
“I don’t understand. We never even went out.”
“I keep a list.”
“Run the meeting, Bixxy! Cut all blabber short!”--
from Old Man Coakly.
“Including yours?” smiled sweetly Mary.
“The...next slide will answer most questions.”
And the next and next, until all groaned.
Lort Harrell piped up finally. “Thirty-seven ways to
identify demons? I’d be fired in the Ad Business!
Boil it down to five bullet points!”
“I will! This is a preliminary meeting.”
Mr and Mrs Oglesy spoke in one voice, but sort of
dopplerian. “We go by these homes! Bicycles in
the driveways, kids playing catch, our neighborhood
minibus picking them up for Little League.”
“All just cover. They’re demons!”
“Don’t forget the parents!” added Coakly to the couple.
“Breaking their ass for the American Dream!”
Although meetings usually broke up in chaos,
this one made a plan. Spies appointed to watch
each family, taking pictures with cell phones.
Supposed to bring evidence to the next
meeting but, Mary reminded, that’s in
July and there’s not enough time to handle
this and The Fourth of July Picnic and Baby
Parade. And, especially, the crowning of
Little Miss Delco Heights.
So, August appointed to get to the demonological
bottom of things.
“Be hot as hell!” Coakly recollected.
Labels: American Dream, demon, Little League, neighborhood, neighborhood activities, neighborhood association
