Sunday, July 17, 2016
The Blend
“Let’s see now, which one are you?”
He’s addressing JMM, Jesus Meek and Mild.
“Oh yes, here it is on my clipboard. You’re
WASM, Wise Ass Smash Mouth.”
Thus the new orderly mixed up the men,
and they went ahead and played the new parts.
The physicians would have easily straightened
it out, but they were replaced by Indian Doctors,
speaking an English that went out with Kipling.
They brought with them, also, tea-times, and
often had Earl Grey and biscuits as the patients rioted.
All not chaos, however, since the highly-organized
Dr Caruthers Caruthers brought onboard to shepherd
this insane anachronism.
He switched back JMM and WASM for one. And decreed
no cricket until after visiting hours. So...smooth running!
And for years.
Exacted its toll from him, and he took up a sort of fat,
middle-aged ballet that had been sweeping fitness circles.
The dumpier female Indian Doctors joined him, but plantar
fasciatus retired him from the art, and one of them assumed
the male role in productions.
The patients brought in, and JMM and WASM displayed genuine grace.
Perpetually the jokes about inmates taking over the asylum,
of course, but they manage a blend at Whispering Falls.
Labels: asylum, chaos, dancing, delusions, fitness, insane, organization, patients, staff, treating insane
Thursday, July 14, 2016
“Eat!”
Dr Lotz called a meeting to gently reprimand.
Starting with himself. He got on the scale in front
of everyone.
“Two nineteen! Should be one seventy!”
Didn’t insist the others weigh themselves.
Physical evidence in straining seams, pot bellies,
expanded derrieres etc.
Even Scrawny the Chief Orderly and his assistant,
Fred Astaire, aka George Hebberly, resembled
Macy parade floats.
As to the patients, there for therapeutic weight loss?
They seemed to do better and better, while the same
principles enlarged individual doctors, nurses, and others.
Ripper Askew, Engineer, could wait no longer. He presented
the plan to reinforce the floors to the Board.
A genial bunch who just laughed at the staff predicament,
but okayed the remedial construction
Fortunately, just before a massive influx of new
patients, the old ones being discharged a week earlier.
As the construction gang waited to begin, the
steel girders and rebar piled on the grass
and the cement truck revolving its huge barrel,
the building collapsed, crushing all staff in
the process of vacating. Unfortunately, handling
last-minute chores.
The Grand Opening of the New Serenity Falls
in a year.
At that, Architect Hap Happersly of Happersly,
Keenan, Otz, Merriweather, and Dingel, wisecracks.
“If you had polar bears on the staff instead of docs
and nurses, these floors will hold. Drive in some
General Patton tanks. The back bank of elevators
will send each one to a specific floor!”
But, one serious sign: the new staff devours
the luncheon, and catering company “Eat!”
rushes in more.
Labels: addition, doctors, fat, hospital, nurses, obesity, patients, staff, unstoppable
