Thursday, November 23, 2017
Oration
Judith is terrified about speaking
at the funeral. Stage Fright!
Even if it’s hers.
It’s ridiculous that the funeral directors
insist that since Rejuvs had to die in order
to be brought back, therefore...
But, LOBBY-Fever-AMERICA! grips!
Everywhere. Always.
(At any rate, the 80% Absurdity Index holds
steady in most fields.)
Longgggggg-time boyfriend Reck laughs,
“Hey I’m on my fourth life, each one
too fast I grant you, but I’ll bullshit any
group anytime.”
“It’ll kill me!” Judith all but sobs.
“Death figures of speech, and humor
are so Yesterday!”
“Bring it back!”
“Come on now, Honey! I’ll help you rehearse.
Not too egotistical to say nice things about
Judith 1.”
Labels: funeral, future, immortality, rejuvenation, several lives, stage fright
Tuesday, April 05, 2016
From a Family
Wasn’t beating myself up thoroughly enough,
so became standup comedian. Masochism
runs deep in my family.
Anyway, limited success. Emphasis on the limited.
So my agent wants to send me to Longshoremen
drunkfest.
“Are you sure? My stuff is uppy-urban-neurotic.
They won’t relate.”
“They’ll love it!”
Not quite. But nobody yelled “Sit down, Faggot!”
Other things, yes.
I tried my slowest fuse one. A Revolutionary Act!
Blank, blank, blank reactions. Walls! But not hostility
of the murderous variety.
THEN! A wave of laughter. This after four, five beats.
Knocked me back! The whole place bloomed and
brightened! And, gave me something to play with from
then on.
“Like that one, hey? And not a whiff of sexual
violence...which is more than I can say about
My weird Uncle Ralph. He...”
My buddies now. If I walked the docks they’d
run out with thermos bottles. Coffee laced
with...God knows!
Labels: chutzpah, comedian, hostile audience, longshoreman, masculinity, nerves, stage fright, standup
