Monday, November 30, 2015
Thanksgiving
Family and Friends
In the strangest twist of all, Bertram always passed out the
pictures of last year’s Thanksgiving. To much amusement.
Even Uncle Fred forgot his furious Rightyness to laugh
at his images as much as he did all the others.
Well. No pictures this year. No chortling Host, no Hostess,
scarlet in her kitchen mid steam. And no explanation. And Bert
has gone digital. And his companion, Snip, has gone, period.
And Fred has died. Business Leader announced the Gazette.
“Who’d he leave all that dried food to?” Marie asked.
“Screw that! How about the gold?” from her Val.
Our host quipped “The Institute of Enforced Tradition got
everything!”
“I like the enforced part,” mused Hallie, back from her
first year teaching job at UMass. Bert showed her closeup
on the screen of the camera.
“It’s me all right!”
“Beautiful!”
“Baloney!”
Her boyfriend chimed in–-unusual. He mostly says nothing.
“Without force you don’t get tradition.”
“Right up Fred’s alley” toasted our Host. We joined in. The eiswein
cooling our throats.
“You can’t have one without the other,” sang Old-Maid-Jenny.
“That’s Love and Marriage,” laughed her longtime Bud.
“What are those anyway?”
Well, the way it went, photographer less intrusive, Hostess out-
charming the magazine ideal, all of us Norman Rockwell-y, no shit!
Best Thanksgiving ever! Not just because no Fred, but Bert’s former
Snip would blast Mother Teresa.
Labels: digital photography, Furious Right, Love and Marriage, Norman Rockwell, old maid, photography, Right Fear, sniping, table wit, Thanksgiving
Saturday, May 17, 2014
The Win
Chupsy never said anything clever. And coming close to 40.
One night when the whole gang assed around, all looked to
him for some mystical reason, and he...emitted a something
to make everyone cringe.
The whole group turned its back as if praying for the shame
to vanish.
And then it happened. A new remark, somewhat esoteric, and yet
fitting the topic on more than one point.
A beat or two, and then the spontaneous roar of laughter.
He was much congratulated, but people often avoided him after.
Expecting that laser wit to cut them mid mot.
Needn't have bothered. One-shot wonder.
Labels: friendship, loser, table wit, wit
Saturday, November 13, 2010
None So Vile
-So this guy appointed to lit department at prestigious university.
-But a serpent in the fescue?
-Lunch.
-Harmless enough for most. Even academics.
-Allusion combat. Much out-clevering whilst zapping
the other with the table wit of lit.
-Did our champion acquit himself with valor?
-Mostly, but often his stomach churned going to class.
-Is it a story with this acid end?
-He left for a small college where they really respected his specialty and baked each other casseroles.
-What was his specialty?
-I don't remember.
-Emblematic of the weight of your tale. Of a whole lot, really.
-Oh well, anyway, every profession must have its silly
pseudo-contests.
-None So Vile
Labels: academic, allusion, table wit
