Monday, November 19, 2018
Who We Are
-Your latest group selfie is
rooty-toot military! The men
lantern-jawed, the women
sentry-alert, but corn-fed.
-So damn wholesome it leads
me to wanna warmly pee!
-I suppose it’s a welcome break
from manning the phones.
-That’s mostly robots. Selfie crews
come from Central Casting.
-Oh well, the products you hawk
legitimate enough, if absurdly
overpriced.
-So shoddy that one’s gaze alone
is enough to hasten their
disintegration!
-And the ironclad refund
guarantee?
-Once you emerge from insanely
dedicated software to that cause.
-Has anyone?
-Not a one! Circular Marvel!
-So, bottom line, you’re CROOKS!
-Definitely. But not from some
shithole country!
-O your burning, righteous
AMERICAN Pride!
-Don’t sit too close!
Labels: American, American Salesman, marketing fraud, Military, selfie, telemarketing, telephone fraud
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Attorney-Client
800 Number
-Feds raided the whole place...boxes full of shit.
“Hey!” we told em, “we read from a script. Just do what
we're told! I mean if product is cock lengthener,
set of jars--whatever.”
-Did they accept that?
-Yes and no. Suspicious looks. So we got attorney.
Employees Organization.
-No such animal.
-Made it up for occasion.
-How you gonna pay him? Everybody lives from
paycheck to paycheck.
-Don’t worry about it.
-Oh oh! Good thing that look doesn’t come through over
the phone. You're gonna screw him too?
-Our stock in trade.
-Maybe it’s his too. Better watch it!
-When don't we?
Labels: fraud, misleading, script, telemarketing
