Friday, May 22, 2015
Mickey Katz and the Climate Kiljoys
Jordy stretched. At six feet and unbelievable
suppleness. All of which translated to
mega-sexy to some men. Most.
As a little girl, she was a gymnast, and coaches
foresaw an Olympic champ! But her post-hippie
parents gave her the decision, and she told
them she preferred the pre-practice stretching
to anything.
So, that’s all she did for years, with the exception of
touring with a woman’s volleyball team. There, she
lacked the fire to really spike one into an opponent’s
face.
But she saw a portion of the world, instructive in
placing herself later.
So, she happened! That is, she would show up in
a selected place, and stretch.
Crowds gathered, to say the least.
Her first outfits were a sort of abbreviated middy.
Sailor kind of stuff with little white cap.
A manufacturer sponsored her after a while, and
his version of the middy for teens sold out in an hour!
Since the more aggressive men tried approaching her,
a security firm hired.
In here somewhere, MIT studied her body. They found
everything in the right place. In spades! And a sort
of one-of-a-kind double-jointedness.
The sexual appeal which left men panting and moaning
was not of academic concern.
She had a float in the St Patrick’s Day Parade. Stretching above
a double blue ring of police officers.
Even the Times remarked on her micro Notre Dame cheerleader
outfit. “In The Wearing of the etc, not much green to be seen.”
She wore it again a month later, stretching before the Jesuit
seminarians of Markham, Massachusetts. The State Police
had to be called to bolster her own security guys.
How many young men lost their vocation is anybody’s guess.
But the "Markham Moan" eventually heard even in little kids’
playgrounds everywhere.
Rome came in later and changed the architecture: no outfacing
windows, everything looking down on an inner rose garden
courtyard where women forbidden.
Church claims they’re not, but they are.
On the Late Show, Bipsy Harsell ordered them to cut to
commercials when Jordy showed new moves.
In the interview portion she claimed celibacy, but “The one man
is out there somewhere with the magic key!”
Cell towers got overwhelmed all over America.
She, of course, went international. A Lily Marlene in tiny muslin
scraps in Berlin. A kind of Maggie Thatcher, licentious milkmaid--
or something--in London. Her sole mistake.
But, she saved it all for Paris. She became Lindbergh, stretching
for all she was worth before a replica Spirit of St Louis against
a foggy night crossed with searchlights.
Crowd in excess of three hundred thousand!
There she was very briefly spirited away by Sorbonne
students, all of whom got bloodied.
After a long rest, her next gig was to be The Native
People’s Meeting in Northernmost Canada. “Inuit Maid.”
But it was effectively stopped by Mickey Katz and the
Climate Kiljoys of Miami Beach, representing all Florida
beach communities. They reasoned that the body heat
alone would shrink icebergs and probably flood Florida.
They didn’t think that Jordy could do it alone...but
Mickey wisecracked that particular way.
Well, Jordy retired after that, not wanting to hurt
the ecology for following generations.
She lives unknown in an unnamed town.
But that might change since the new president,
a drunk, wishes to declare her a National Monument.
Labels: Canada, Catholic, craze, ecology, Florida, happening, iceberg, Lindbergh, provocative female action, stretching, women's sports
Saturday, May 25, 2013
“The Porch of the Maiden”
Named by my father, who was well-read,
especially for the neighborhood.
She sat there of summer evenings and
never wore a shirt. She had been our tomboy,
angry organizer at our pickup games, exhorter
to get us to play with some directed passion.
All that ended with her porch gig, which
meant nothing when she resembled a boy,
but soon the little breasts were baseball-sized.
Her family eventually prevailed as she
never appeared there without crossing her
arms in front of her chest.
Then, in course, wearing a t-shirt, brilliant
white. Florescent before summer storms.
Soon, quite a surprise as she joined the
other girls, actually the girlie-girlie
contingent talking endlessly of boys,
and trading movie magazines.
She fooled us, too, by going to Commercial High
for the secretarial course. She, and a few others
in the city, though, transforming girls’ basketball
by playing a quick-passing, even driving, game.
Again her path diverged, being given a basketball
scholarship by Syracuse in the degree field of
Sports Management.
But she threw her queasy family a final joker by eloping
in her freshman year with a new graduate of that program.
They lived in a lot of New York towns after that, he doing sports spots for radio stations.
When female twins arrived, he, fortunately,
took over the management of a small FM outlet.
By the time he handled sports for a major
New York TV station, she finished her degree
at Columbia. But in Social Work.
She now works for an organization encouraging
young women to enter the sciences.
A very womanly woman to be sure, but one thing
never changed. The fierce brow.
Named by my father, who was well-read,
especially for the neighborhood.
She sat there of summer evenings and
never wore a shirt. She had been our tomboy,
angry organizer at our pickup games, exhorter
to get us to play with some directed passion.
All that ended with her porch gig, which
meant nothing when she resembled a boy,
but soon the little breasts were baseball-sized.
Her family eventually prevailed as she
never appeared there without crossing her
arms in front of her chest.
Then, in course, wearing a t-shirt, brilliant
white. Florescent before summer storms.
Soon, quite a surprise as she joined the
other girls, actually the girlie-girlie
contingent talking endlessly of boys,
and trading movie magazines.
She fooled us, too, by going to Commercial High
for the secretarial course. She, and a few others
in the city, though, transforming girls’ basketball
by playing a quick-passing, even driving, game.
Again her path diverged, being given a basketball
scholarship by Syracuse in the degree field of
Sports Management.
But she threw her queasy family a final joker by eloping
in her freshman year with a new graduate of that program.
They lived in a lot of New York towns after that, he doing sports spots for radio stations.
When female twins arrived, he, fortunately,
took over the management of a small FM outlet.
By the time he handled sports for a major
New York TV station, she finished her degree
at Columbia. But in Social Work.
She now works for an organization encouraging
young women to enter the sciences.
A very womanly woman to be sure, but one thing
never changed. The fierce brow.
Labels: ambition, feminism, Porch of the Maidens, social work, Sports, Sports Management, tomboy, women's sports
