Monday, January 04, 2016
Ancient Threat
Ralph handled the transition
from engineering semi-loner
to Associate Store Manager
quite well.
He did have someWHAT of a
gregarious bent, so saying
Welcome to Walgreens!
or Did you find everything?
took small effort.
Ordering, though, knottier,
thus Chucksy sent from
Satellite Beach to check
his attempt for the weekly sale.
-Cashews with sea salt? Three
cases. About right. Got my
mouth set for 'em!
Prunes, Sunkist, Minis, three
cases also? Uh uh! Quadruple that!
-Wow!
-This is Florida! Wall to wall
old people!
-I've noticed.
-If they can't shit, they kill!
Labels: constipation, digestion, Florida, senior citizen, Walgreens
Friday, May 22, 2015
Mickey Katz and the Climate Kiljoys
Jordy stretched. At six feet and unbelievable
suppleness. All of which translated to
mega-sexy to some men. Most.
As a little girl, she was a gymnast, and coaches
foresaw an Olympic champ! But her post-hippie
parents gave her the decision, and she told
them she preferred the pre-practice stretching
to anything.
So, that’s all she did for years, with the exception of
touring with a woman’s volleyball team. There, she
lacked the fire to really spike one into an opponent’s
face.
But she saw a portion of the world, instructive in
placing herself later.
So, she happened! That is, she would show up in
a selected place, and stretch.
Crowds gathered, to say the least.
Her first outfits were a sort of abbreviated middy.
Sailor kind of stuff with little white cap.
A manufacturer sponsored her after a while, and
his version of the middy for teens sold out in an hour!
Since the more aggressive men tried approaching her,
a security firm hired.
In here somewhere, MIT studied her body. They found
everything in the right place. In spades! And a sort
of one-of-a-kind double-jointedness.
The sexual appeal which left men panting and moaning
was not of academic concern.
She had a float in the St Patrick’s Day Parade. Stretching above
a double blue ring of police officers.
Even the Times remarked on her micro Notre Dame cheerleader
outfit. “In The Wearing of the etc, not much green to be seen.”
She wore it again a month later, stretching before the Jesuit
seminarians of Markham, Massachusetts. The State Police
had to be called to bolster her own security guys.
How many young men lost their vocation is anybody’s guess.
But the "Markham Moan" eventually heard even in little kids’
playgrounds everywhere.
Rome came in later and changed the architecture: no outfacing
windows, everything looking down on an inner rose garden
courtyard where women forbidden.
Church claims they’re not, but they are.
On the Late Show, Bipsy Harsell ordered them to cut to
commercials when Jordy showed new moves.
In the interview portion she claimed celibacy, but “The one man
is out there somewhere with the magic key!”
Cell towers got overwhelmed all over America.
She, of course, went international. A Lily Marlene in tiny muslin
scraps in Berlin. A kind of Maggie Thatcher, licentious milkmaid--
or something--in London. Her sole mistake.
But, she saved it all for Paris. She became Lindbergh, stretching
for all she was worth before a replica Spirit of St Louis against
a foggy night crossed with searchlights.
Crowd in excess of three hundred thousand!
There she was very briefly spirited away by Sorbonne
students, all of whom got bloodied.
After a long rest, her next gig was to be The Native
People’s Meeting in Northernmost Canada. “Inuit Maid.”
But it was effectively stopped by Mickey Katz and the
Climate Kiljoys of Miami Beach, representing all Florida
beach communities. They reasoned that the body heat
alone would shrink icebergs and probably flood Florida.
They didn’t think that Jordy could do it alone...but
Mickey wisecracked that particular way.
Well, Jordy retired after that, not wanting to hurt
the ecology for following generations.
She lives unknown in an unnamed town.
But that might change since the new president,
a drunk, wishes to declare her a National Monument.
Labels: Canada, Catholic, craze, ecology, Florida, happening, iceberg, Lindbergh, provocative female action, stretching, women's sports
Monday, July 15, 2013
Figuring it
When I get my gun
Make up some shit to
off a few deserve it.
Hey! So that’s their fate.
They’re pods!
America is the best country
and Florida the best state.
Texas, though, is God!
Labels: Florida, gun, gun laws, Texas
Saturday, February 02, 2013
The Village Lovie-Dovies
Nick couldn’t look. They were giggling and
throwing snowballs at each other, then
collapsing into a snowbank and wrestling.
He was busy at the cash register with
old Reverend Rack, who held King
Charles Spaniel, Schopenhauer, under his parka.
“Those two have been at it for years!”--
while bagging the minster’s Danish,and the Quaker Oatmeal for his wife.
Rack sipped the steaming coffee, breaking,
though, to pronounce “That kind of silly stuff can’t last much longer.”
Didn’t. Couple hit a tree while sledding down
icy Merchant’s Hill that dark afternoon.
Newly-minted pastor, Lucy, handled the funeral
as “an example of undying
love for us all.”
Rack drove to Florida that morning with Schopenhauer. Dorothy refused to go.
‘
Labels: Cavalier King Charles, Florida, horseplay, love, winter
Saturday, April 07, 2012
Location
Elsewhere, cops cut
oldsters breaks, pro-
moting a back-down, say,
from the neighbor in
the silliest dispute that
world-millisecond. But
this is Florida. Criminals
retire here too, keeping
a hand in. So a ramble
after wildflowers through
wealthy precincts
might be innocence,
or casing, so questions
asked, patrol cars impinging
with spinning red lights.
Drivers-by shake gray, respect-
able heads at the florid scene.
Labels: Florida, Florida criminals, senior, senior criminals
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Two Floridians Discuss Their Reactionary Radio
-How much is genuine?
-Just a vicious ten percent. Rest is method acting.
-Will they achieve their Shining City on the Hill?
-It's there, but lights dimmed as they bus out José and Abe.
-Not to mention Ebonies, swishes, and Democrats.
Do you suppose there's overlap?
-Miscegenation! Anyway, Purity is in sight!
-Dachau!
-Pencil and paper! They got Crays.
-How much is genuine?
-Just a vicious ten percent. Rest is method acting.
-Will they achieve their Shining City on the Hill?
-It's there, but lights dimmed as they bus out José and Abe.
-Not to mention Ebonies, swishes, and Democrats.
Do you suppose there's overlap?
-Miscegenation! Anyway, Purity is in sight!
-Dachau!
-Pencil and paper! They got Crays.
Labels: Cray, Florida, reactionary, Right Wing Radio, shining city
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Tradition of Never Giving a Flying Fuck in Florida
Town fathers meet in general store
to discuss Post Office turning down
proposed name as too long.
Baker's Cocoa reposes
on counter and one shrugs
What the hell let's call it Cocoa.
Town fathers meet in general store
to discuss Post Office turning down
proposed name as too long.
Baker's Cocoa reposes
on counter and one shrugs
What the hell let's call it Cocoa.
Labels: Cocoa, Florida, tradition
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Protesting America
My closest big intersection
at A1A and 520 a regular Hyde
Park. Bluster under blister-
ing sun, usually by those Rawer Loony
Tunes knowing President a Kenyan. This
being Florida, fuller-fledged All-Whites
amidst them bristle with I got mine so
the rest of you can go fuck yourself.
But today a tonic! Medical Marijuana!
Not acquainted with Mary Jane, though
do have glaucoma. If it gets fierce,
might just like meeting her.
Labels: Florida, Medical Marijuana, tea party
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Booms
“Carleton Terrace in Cocoa
prohibited stables, hog pens,
outhouses, and people of color.”*
Elsewhere on
the peninsula
a resort trumped
ALWAYS A VIEW
NEVER A JEW
In this piece of Florida,
rockets
lift free
of us.
*Florida Today
Labels: Florida, Jew, people of color
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Floridas
Republicans truly burn
with desire
of drilling offshore!
Corporate Whores.
Safe! they insist
and technological
to beat the brand.
Oily presentations.
But I resort to metaphor.
When the real thing arrives in
fallen coils of blackened birds
and tons of fish dead in muck,
they'll claim bad luck,
who could’ve foreseen such?
Republicans truly burn
with desire
of drilling offshore!
Corporate Whores.
Safe! they insist
and technological
to beat the brand.
Oily presentations.
But I resort to metaphor.
When the real thing arrives in
fallen coils of blackened birds
and tons of fish dead in muck,
they'll claim bad luck,
who could’ve foreseen such?
Labels: Florida, offshore drilling
Friday, December 05, 2008
Sunshine Loot
Actual little houses midst barren fields. Spotted
among the Recreation Center, Pool, Churches,
golf courses, boutiques, ah! “Proposed” of
course. O Florida, hast thou changed from
sleazy yore of speculators’ bloated dreams,
ass falling out of their own seedy pants?
Actual little houses midst barren fields. Spotted
among the Recreation Center, Pool, Churches,
golf courses, boutiques, ah! “Proposed” of
course. O Florida, hast thou changed from
sleazy yore of speculators’ bloated dreams,
ass falling out of their own seedy pants?
Labels: Developers, Florida
Monday, November 17, 2008
Employment Market–Southland
I live in Florida,
import like most.
Many are criminals.
They like warmth
and sunshine too.
Some enter politics
and hone their skills,
thereby. Until they're
swept out in outrage,
much delayed. Then re-
enlist among the formidable
thieves in the private sector.
I live in Florida,
import like most.
Many are criminals.
They like warmth
and sunshine too.
Some enter politics
and hone their skills,
thereby. Until they're
swept out in outrage,
much delayed. Then re-
enlist among the formidable
thieves in the private sector.
Labels: Florida, Florida criminals
