Friday, May 22, 2015
Mickey Katz and the Climate Kiljoys
Jordy stretched. At six feet and unbelievable
suppleness. All of which translated to
mega-sexy to some men. Most.
As a little girl, she was a gymnast, and coaches
foresaw an Olympic champ! But her post-hippie
parents gave her the decision, and she told
them she preferred the pre-practice stretching
to anything.
So, that’s all she did for years, with the exception of
touring with a woman’s volleyball team. There, she
lacked the fire to really spike one into an opponent’s
face.
But she saw a portion of the world, instructive in
placing herself later.
So, she happened! That is, she would show up in
a selected place, and stretch.
Crowds gathered, to say the least.
Her first outfits were a sort of abbreviated middy.
Sailor kind of stuff with little white cap.
A manufacturer sponsored her after a while, and
his version of the middy for teens sold out in an hour!
Since the more aggressive men tried approaching her,
a security firm hired.
In here somewhere, MIT studied her body. They found
everything in the right place. In spades! And a sort
of one-of-a-kind double-jointedness.
The sexual appeal which left men panting and moaning
was not of academic concern.
She had a float in the St Patrick’s Day Parade. Stretching above
a double blue ring of police officers.
Even the Times remarked on her micro Notre Dame cheerleader
outfit. “In The Wearing of the etc, not much green to be seen.”
She wore it again a month later, stretching before the Jesuit
seminarians of Markham, Massachusetts. The State Police
had to be called to bolster her own security guys.
How many young men lost their vocation is anybody’s guess.
But the "Markham Moan" eventually heard even in little kids’
playgrounds everywhere.
Rome came in later and changed the architecture: no outfacing
windows, everything looking down on an inner rose garden
courtyard where women forbidden.
Church claims they’re not, but they are.
On the Late Show, Bipsy Harsell ordered them to cut to
commercials when Jordy showed new moves.
In the interview portion she claimed celibacy, but “The one man
is out there somewhere with the magic key!”
Cell towers got overwhelmed all over America.
She, of course, went international. A Lily Marlene in tiny muslin
scraps in Berlin. A kind of Maggie Thatcher, licentious milkmaid--
or something--in London. Her sole mistake.
But, she saved it all for Paris. She became Lindbergh, stretching
for all she was worth before a replica Spirit of St Louis against
a foggy night crossed with searchlights.
Crowd in excess of three hundred thousand!
There she was very briefly spirited away by Sorbonne
students, all of whom got bloodied.
After a long rest, her next gig was to be The Native
People’s Meeting in Northernmost Canada. “Inuit Maid.”
But it was effectively stopped by Mickey Katz and the
Climate Kiljoys of Miami Beach, representing all Florida
beach communities. They reasoned that the body heat
alone would shrink icebergs and probably flood Florida.
They didn’t think that Jordy could do it alone...but
Mickey wisecracked that particular way.
Well, Jordy retired after that, not wanting to hurt
the ecology for following generations.
She lives unknown in an unnamed town.
But that might change since the new president,
a drunk, wishes to declare her a National Monument.
Labels: Canada, Catholic, craze, ecology, Florida, happening, iceberg, Lindbergh, provocative female action, stretching, women's sports
