All Over the Place

Mountains

-From one stupid hillybilly to another, don’t try to tell me
the Democrats will four-wheel back into my hollow
and seize our bible.

-I heard it on the Ricky Bumfry show!

-Uh huh. And what else threatens our way of life featuring
moonshine and incest?

-Laugh all you want but they won’t be happy unless
they make all the children queers!

-Pink for everybody?

-You know, there are real dangers!

-Without a doubt. Well, we’ll rely on our faith, of which there
is none, despite the rants of drooling preachers. That bible only
opens to write in a new baby.

-How you get so contrary?

-Back there we’ve been Republicans forever. But not assholes.
Give me a break!

Foreign Policy--Africa

-Best we can do is get some of our people out of there! Has to be
in the next few hours because the chaos will only get worse.
So, my best Colonel is commanding a fleet of armored Humvees.

-Prognosis?

-Half would be victory.

-The others?

-Be torn limb from limb.

-By...?

-Children. An army of children.

-Where...?

-Well, we trained and equipped three-quarters of them. Now they’ve flowed together with street gangs.

-Who is leading them? Is it a more or less organized propaganda effort?

-Nobody. Just a totally insane crawling body.

-Why were we training children to kill other children in the first place?
Will anyone be blamed this time? Is there anything we won’t do?

-Of course not. The army is a plaything. Like a video game or something.

The Widow

-No heart history I know of. He just went!

-I need the rest of this morning off. Something black and just a little sexy.

-Isn’t that overdoing it. You had one date, right?

-We were intimate.

-But you’re always...

-Watch it! I’m not The Whore of Babylon. Besides I always check out the
guys, lots of phone calls. I’m very careful.

-At that step, yes.

-Discussions of morality always get one nowhere! I talk, and the puritans
act exactly the same and button up!

-Better get shopping. You’re losing the morning by chattering.

-Thank you. I’ve not ever played the widow. Looking forward to it.

Leonardo Didn‘t Finish

Mona Lisa.
Under his arm yet

unrolled at
times to touch

a shading by the lip,
under the eye,
cheek.

Everything never
ends.

What's w/immigrants?

Fucked serially by
The Man cuz they
lack standing

like men & women.
Anyway, too scared.

So, what's the fuss?
Already Americans,

really. Place on piles of
Asian slave-crap & jive
into demented grins

towards betters. Welcome
to The U. S. A. where
the comedy stays

tragedy, José. Even so,
don’t let them

shit all over you.
Open your mouth!

Construction Site

Everyone dark un-
der Florida’s sun ham-
mer. Most, wide straw hats.

2 blacks, about fifteen little
brown guys, illegals. & 2

fat white guys laying down
the Genius.

Supreme Court

Priestly garb
appropriate,as
they genuflect

to the exponent
of Money over
Rule. Gold

is all;Law a whor-
ing travesty. Con-

stitution not
master gauge,
but gouge,

albeit with sleaz-
y camouflage: “Free”
speech always in

harmony with old
do re me. Sing

a torchy Love For Sale.
Just substitute Judge.

The Scholar in The White House


PRESIDENT
We’re very proud that you’re our first Islamo Studies Senatorial Scholar
to get PhD.

SENATOR
Thank you Mr President! I’m beaming today as sponsor.

PRESIDENT
I can only wish that most senators were as far-seeing as you. And I’m
not saying that because we’re from the same party.

SENATOR
You’re our beacon, Sir!

PRESIDENT
That’s kind of you. Now would you take this young person into the VP’s
office? Meet with CIA people. Maybe slot this wonderful scholar.

SENATOR
Sooner the better.

...
SENATOR
You’re doing beautifully! Just keep on keeping your fuckin mouth shut!

Shorter Conversation

A
It imploded. Your screwing around didn’t help.

B
Resent the terminology. I was in love.

A
Whatever.

Sweets in Her List

Young Elizabeth looked men
in the eye and spoke out
of turn. No wonder they

named an age for her.
Well, that was after

she had gotten
away with a bit more.

Heads rolled. Not quite.
Mary’s did after the ax-

man held it by the wig
it tore from.

Take Any Subcommittee

& listen to the rhetoric
often running counter

to the bucks floating
into pockets. But

when push comes to shove
wink comes to nudge, & one

votes the right way. Uh huh,
& what would you or I do

differently? Be crooks too.
Though small ones probably.

Elbow room for measured bribery
& you need the absolute dough
for election and whatever.

That a few get jailed is sure-
ly both a miracle of justice

& examples of crossing
the greasy bar to total greed.

To the “Writers” In Federal Entities

How does it feel to put out
ignorant shit from the RNC
athwart what you really know?

In private sector, denoted as
Shoveling Coal for Satan, or,
more succinctly, whoring.

Contributor

-More and more begging phonecalls!

-A New Wave, heh heh.

-The Old Wave just needs more dough.

-Well, it’s not our money. It’s the Old Man’s.

-And I’m charged with keeping the contributions in his spirit.

-All he cares about fishing. Anybody against that?

-It’s a hoot. Shoulder to shoulder with all his new black buddies along
the marshy inlets of Sea Island. And taking his turn bringing coffee from 7-11!

-Didn’t he call for their extermination once upon a time?

-On more than a few occasions. So, we all change. But what doesn’t is
his overall philosophy.

-What’s that?

-Let’s just say that I’ll continue to lay bucks on the top Nazis.

-Does that exclude...?

-Not many.

Presenting Credentials

I’m the delegate
from Secular Times

when stuffed-
shirts didn’t pry
Jesus in there

with all the rest
of their stinks.

Neocon Defined

Rocco often enters the rear door of his neighborhood bakery before the
store opens. Takes a loaf from Mickey the Baker’s hand and throws bills
into a battered Phillies Panetella cigar box. He presently throws four.

Twenty years ago it was one.

MICKEY THE BAKER
You know, I never had a life. I’m up at three in the morning and come here.
Go home around four or five in afternoon, and have a beer and fall asleep.
Can’t even wait until the Action News comes on at six.

ROCCO
Little exaggeration, no? Nice family.

MICKEY THE BAKER
Hey! All girls, my nieces, and going to college! I give them my money.
Why not? What can I use it for?

ROCCO
Then you ought to be happy.

MICKEY THE BAKER
Who says I’m not? But I’m ignorant. So, I got a question for you. Everybody says you’re smart. But you never was, so it must be a new development.
Anyways, I’m always hearing neocon this and neocon that on the radio.
What the hell is it?

ROCCO
Neocons are those whose Dad or Gramps carried water for Joe Stalin. So they joined the families who carried water for Herr Hitler.

MICKEY THE BAKER
Sounds like one evil fuckin marriage.

ROCCO
It’s actually an Axis of Evil Fuckin Marriage.

MICKEY THE BAKER
I’ll keep on baking bread.

ROCCO
Ever sick of it? I mean the aroma when I come in here is wonderful, knocks me out, but...

MICKEY THE BAKER
No, it’s always beautiful. It’s life!

Duality

You should be proud
of yourself, not ashamed!

You should be ashamed
of yourself, not proud!

2 friends, 2 takes.
Truth between?

Too confused for any-
thing approaching
self-verdict. Forever,

your falling
between horses

in this Western.
You’re given,
though, 1 grave.

Couples

Mac & Jilly,
Dinko & Ruth.

Everywhere together:
Vegas for gambling.

Canada for fishing.
Dozen others.

Including weird Europe.
“They take you where bums
piss & call it History.”-Mac.

Florida’s “Villages” to retire.
Breast Cancer takes Jilly
pretty quickly. Dinko

leaves mid raunchy ballet
across 18th green after
sinking improbable putt

besting Mac. “He kept grab-
bing his crotch for fun but only
grabbed the heart the once.”

Mac & Ruth marry. Leap of Faith
for her since Tilly told her everything.

Presidential News Conference

-Ah the new man! Or person I should say. We’re fiercely PC–only thing we’re
fierce about here.

-I not understand subject here.

-There isn’t any.

-You kidding!

-He’s blowing smoke up our ass. Don’t they do
that where you come from?

-Of course not! Not for the health...!

-Affects the mind mostly. Direct connection.

-You...no help me?

-I will afterwards. But I’ll still be drunk.

An Aspect of History

-This tribe never had a ghost dance.

-Then what’s that thing we do for the tourists?

-William River-Widens put that together after a fierce binge. Then he
stopped drinking. Just died at 102.

-Gotta drop those quaint names! Corny!

-He called it The Dance of the Murdering Europeans.

-We’re selling one hell of a lot of jewelry.

-Won’t say a word.

The Future of Bedroom Spying

-We’re only to report on what we hear!–why picture’s scrambled.

-Nonetheless they could use marriage manual, from what I can see.

-Yeah, kid stuff, immature

-How to phrase it when I write report...?

-Don’t bother. Pres has descrambler.

-Porn fan?

-Half the time. Rest he goes to church.

Resegregation Via Supreme Court

My Conservative friends caution
don’t go apeshit-ballistic
like our lunatics! Think!

Then make an argument.
And don’t trot in historical

frames-–too Left-Right
arbitrary in interpretation.

So. Okay. I agree. Stay
in present tense and

proceed logically
and unemotionally.

After a deep breath, here go I!

Recipe:

Take Black Americans, let’s
call them Sunnis.

Add White Americans or Shia.

Stir over low flame to simmer.

Fold in Hispanics, but carefully!
Souffle can scorch. Then y’get
curds...

Let Freedom Clang

Women had it better under Saddam– most experts.

Crazy Ali the dancing nut seller of Fallujah: “Ladies!
I hear American soldiers or their drooling, knuckle-
dragging mercenaries. I’ll protect you with my cart,
but twist your cunts against the wall there. Boys,
do the opposite!” –freely trans by Professor Anon

The Almost Overnight

-I’m sorry. It’s my little daughter.
...

-Now you smell like puke.

-She had a problem.

-Now you got one. Me!

-Oh please don’t go!

-Lotta women out there.

-Yes, but how many smell like puke?

-That’s not funny Why would you say that? And why would you think
it was funny?

-I got that from my father. He called it wit.

-Nit-wit, more like.

-I...was hoping for romance. And failing that, sex.

-You people never say anything straight out. You always hafta be figuring out
what you mean.

-You look different with your clothes on. Even more Italian. Have you seen
that film Goodfellas?

-Seen every film ever made. You gotta because of all the boredom.

-Well, perhaps we’ll glimpse each other in 7-11 or Home Depot. Like two ships that pass in the night.

-What else would they do?

Initial Party at Pelican Heights, or THE NEW SOUTH
(Priced at 1-mil to keep out the riffraff)

1st HOMEOWNER
This country went to hell when we give the woman the bicycle
and the nigrah the vote!

DEVELOPER
Mr ... is always joking.

2d HOMEOWNER
Joke?

1st HOMEOWNER
I don’t hear no fuckin joke neither!

Putin’s Toast in Maine

-Between you and me and the mossy rocks,
here’s to Democracy, a total fuckin joke!

-Amen to that, Brother!

Unknown Talent

-Did you speak with his attorneys?

-Couldn’t do that. Legally, even morally, wrong.

-What did they say?

-That he has a lovely singing voice.

NAFTA etc

Gloriously free traders
cannot fathom our
obstinacy and opaque-

ness. Clear to those losing
jobs here, & wretches spit-

ting tubercular into
worktrays there.

Patriots From S Philly & Cocoa Beach


“Action News” From Celebre’s Restaurant, South Philadelphia, USA

(Napkin dispenser as mike)

Vinnie
Presidents Bush and Cheney have ruled out jail for their
advisor, Suckup Libby.

Rocco
Don’t wanna risk any future cellblock solo.

Vinnie (big)
And in OTHER...

Rocco
Mafia news...

Waiter
How entertaining you fellas are! We actually eat here and then we pay,
being generous to our waiter!–really kind people do order something.

...

(much later)

Vinnie
Okay okay so we’re leaving! Final toast to...?

Rocco
the arrogant royalist Republican Criminal Party!

Vinnie
No! To the lickspittle Democrats who enable them by the minute!

Rocco
Same.

---

Mick & Lefty in Cocoa Beach–Impeachment no, Revolution yes!

Mick
Pres won’t let one of his own go to jail.

Lefty
Executive Department is a criminal conspiracy, so what could be
more appropriate? He stepped in for one of his mafia.
Besides, a cell has a nice resonance for ratting out. Then Bush and
Cheney’d hafta join him.

Mick
Impeachment, then? That what you want?

Lefty
Nah. Too slow. Besides, you don’t wanna give grasping little twerps from
both parties their Mr Smith Goes To Washington moment.

Mick
As an independent, I’m with you there. We’ve experienced similar and
my only question then was Where can I puke?

Lefty
Only revolution’ll do now! First, lock up Bush and Cheney and throw the key
into the Potomac. Then they can’t steal any more elections. Or declare
themselves Rulers For Life because of the trumped-up emergency
of the moment.

Mick
Don’t know how popular this uprising of yours will be.

Lefty
It’ll be terrifically popular! Of course, you’d be a fool not to expect the
drooling thugs of the Right to institute a counterrevolution.

Mick
Fighting in the streets?

Lefty
Bring it on!

Mick
Uh huh. And when all you lunatics tire? You’d expect a truce after a bit.
Can the sides get together on anything?

Lefty
No truce! Every last Republican must be murdered. Too many Nazi slipped
though in Germany. Can’t make that mistake again.

Mick
Don’t...care for all that blood. Question of taste.

Lefty
Price of freedom!

Mick
Nearly half of us dead? Well, Jefferson said we needed blood as manure.

Lefty
We’ve had the manure. Let’s have the blood!

Criminals All, Canary No

He'd been quiet,
but, staring at time,
might've sung.

Florida Switcheroo For God

Voted Gore
but ballot spat out

like a dollar at
a Coke Machine.

Re-insert advised official lady.
Sometimes they sorta hit
the sides. 2d time through

an angel with
Karl Rove’s face
got his wings.

Moolah

We had an investment house here
named for a one possessing

a splotched and pocketed face with
a nose you could stuff with silver

dollars. So? Not Rotogravure material,
but his deep pockets attracted petite
ladies who slid therein down silkily.

Anyway, it closed abruptly. What happened
to the old guys who sat and watched monitors
all day long? They took away their checked

slacks with a compartment built in almost under
the chin, evidentially holding a basket
of assorted cheeses.

Ripped down squat Mussolini modern,
and a twisted erector set showed me
it wasn’t total crap. But,

I struck out again! Thus
never saw the rumored massive screw.

The Restaurant


-Where’s Chef? They made me bring back this Bananas O’Toole. Customer said more O’Toole–at least his socks–than bananas!

-Clever! For the usual grotesque pig out there.

-Well, what am I to...?”

-Here! Throw a sprig of mint on top. Tell him Chef handled it personally.

-Yeah, but where is...?

-Hey! Kitchens are stress! He’s in the back alley jerking off. Or shootin up.
Or both.

-Jesus Christ!

-Simultaneously.

-Handled!

-Oh well, wait staff regularly wipe the empty plates on their ass.
But that’s symbolic. That is, your trouser-clad butt is cleaner than
anything else in this establishment.

-God! I was down to nothing. I had to get a job. Anything!

-That why we’re all here. Management is full of shit, except in the ingenious
way they name the dishes. They’d screw you outa even our minimum wage
if they could. Actually it’s minimum wage for Pakistan.

-Why do you stay?

-Good place to score drugs. And everybody fucks everybody else after
our wee-hour parties. Even during.

-Sounds like utter despair! Ugh! More disgusting than Chef!

-Only at first. We share the tips and the end of the night is suicidal.

-No...impetus for service!

-Never has been. Ever. The vandals got the handle. We just do what we can.

-It’s Nihilism!

-You went to college! Just reaction of workers under continuously gouging Capitalism.

The Restaurant


-Where’s Chef? They made me bring back this Bananas O’Toole. Customer said more O’Toole–at least his socks–than bananas!

-Clever! For the usual grotesque pig out there.

-Well, what am I to...?”

-Here! Throw a sprig of mint on top. Tell him Chef handled it personally.

-Yeah, but where is...?

-Hey! Kitchens are stress! He’s in the back alley jerking off. Or shootin up.
Or both.

-Jesus Christ!

-Simultaneously.

-Handled!

-Oh well, wait staff regularly wipe the empty plates on their ass.
But that’s symbolic. That is, your trouser-clad butt is cleaner than
anything else in this establishment.

-God! I was down to nothing. I had to get a job. Anything!

-That why we’re all here. Management is full of shit, except in the ingenious
way they name the dishes. They’d screw you outa even our minimum wage
if they could. Actually it’s minimum wage for Pakistan.

-Why do you stay?

-Good place to score drugs. And everybody fucks everybody else after
our wee-hour parties. Even during.

-Sounds like utter despair! Ugh! More disgusting than Chef!

-Only at first. We share the tips and the end of the night is suicidal.

-No...impetus for service!

-Never has been. Ever. The vandals got the handle. We just do what we can.

-It’s Nihilism!

-You went to college! Just reaction of workers under continuously gouging Capitalism.