Thursday, April 21, 2016
Stopping For Directions
-So, okay, he hiked the jungles of Panama
as a nineteen year old. Backpack and all!
-Pretty pictures of flowers in a notebook.
He still draws.
-What a freakin boy scout!
-Oh?
-You got something?
-Stopped in a whorehouse for directions.
-You’re kidding?
-The girls fussed over such a naive blusher!
-So, over in a few minutes?
-Yes. In truth. But not, of course, in political fiction.
-Seems to be a slim horse to ride.
-We’ve ridden slimmer.
-We run Jenny against him?
-Perfect! Little Miss Hurt!
-She’ll cry at his treatment of women.
-And get some great digs in when she’s dry!
-Well, a whole campaign...?
-Yes and no. We’ll apologize three quarters
way through.
-Uh huh? And then allow the snide wisecracks
to surface again?
-Same act.
-Thus he loses the women?...been better
to fuck his brains out back then.
-No way! Don’t want him on our side!
Labels: hardball, Opposition Research, political games, Republican Hardball, sexual innuendo
Friday, April 08, 2016
The Political Life
When Wesley decided to run for Congress,
Opposition Research cranked up!
Soon, statements from Madams, and one
literal girl named Ginger.
Also, a video from Blaze Urprivates, exotic
dancer.
These transgressions, though, attributed
to the wrong Deldestry.
His brother, “recovering” from a motorcycle
accident at Bide-a-Bit, roasting marshmallows
at the weekly fete for Incurables and Squirrel Heads:
“That...Boy...!”
Come back in fifteen minutes for Scout.
Labels: dirty politics, exotic dancer, Madams, mistaken identity, Opposition Research, politics, sex
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Opposition Research
Consultant, Assistant
-Okay, what you got on the broad?
-Nothing! There’s nothing! She’s as pure as the
driven snow.
-Bad news! Whereas our guy...?
-Slush! The wives, the mistresses and messy divorces.
The girlfriends coming into the game off the bench.
-Been one busy sonabitch!
-Boyfriends...the latest.
-Demonstrating tolerance! Keeping up.
-In shrieking fight in male whorehouse in Vegas over
one of ‘em.
-That was a guy with a similar name. Not our idiot!
-Identical!
-Can’t really tell at present: records lost.
-Good things happen to bad people.
-Nothing “happens.”
-And now, returning to the present, our opposing Pure Prudence
also dragging vaguely dissatisfied hubby to everything.
-Domesticity worth ten percent of vote.
-Yeah, but she lacks the core lunatics our guy has!
-Exactly! Just one more task and we win! I stride forth to the
enemy camp! Not afraid to be a hero!
-And?
-Why offer not to use our opposition research if they
promise the same!
-A bluff!
-Why would you use that word?
-Sorry, I...
-Nah! It’s okay. I’m just surprised because it's the
precisely right one!
Labels: campaign, dirt, Opposition Research, political bluff, political dirt
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
The Great Uncover
Opposition Research
-You can always go morality at the end.
-How? Why? Remember ISSUES?
-Fuck issues! Look! He or she has done
SOMEthing. Everybody has. Just point
out that what most people think average
is actually depraved.
-But the areas are really too gray! Slippery.
-Not when we get done!
-Nothing painted as something.
-In Circus Colors!
-How do you sleep at night?
-Realistically.
Labels: dirty politics, issues, low blow, Opposition Research, politics, reputation, sex
Thursday, August 01, 2013
Many a great story has been over-verified
Opposition Research
-The guy went to Church and just about stayed.
Must have bunk in the back.
-No women? Or men?
-Nor gambling or shady shit. No nothing!
Oh wait...!
-With relish!
-Ping Pong once where they bet a Pepsi!
-Oh well, everyone here wants to write a novel anyway.
Just compose...nice juicy story starring that pipsqueak!
Whores and graft, with a queer tossed in for fun.
-Make it up? We can‘t do...!
-Thank you, Jerry. Send in Laurette.
Labels: libel, Opposition Research, parties, scandal
