Friday, April 29, 2016
Laboratory
The White Wonder of the Republicans
moved into our co-op, and soon ran
a vicious campaign to become its
president.
Crushed a retired librarian sporting
gray, bouncy curls. She became the
Whore of Babylon.
Well he played for keeps, naturally.
Prepping for the Big Show.
Libertarian cats did him in. Peed in
the upper hallways.
Insoluble problem since his biggest
supporters owned them.
At any rate, he failed. Voted out.
Did the National Stage still beckon?
Would have, if his wife hadn’t left and
a male partner move in.
Labels: :Libertarian, campaign, co-op, co-op apartment, Libertarian Republican, librarian, Republican, Whore of Babylon
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Opposition Research
Consultant, Assistant
-Okay, what you got on the broad?
-Nothing! There’s nothing! She’s as pure as the
driven snow.
-Bad news! Whereas our guy...?
-Slush! The wives, the mistresses and messy divorces.
The girlfriends coming into the game off the bench.
-Been one busy sonabitch!
-Boyfriends...the latest.
-Demonstrating tolerance! Keeping up.
-In shrieking fight in male whorehouse in Vegas over
one of ‘em.
-That was a guy with a similar name. Not our idiot!
-Identical!
-Can’t really tell at present: records lost.
-Good things happen to bad people.
-Nothing “happens.”
-And now, returning to the present, our opposing Pure Prudence
also dragging vaguely dissatisfied hubby to everything.
-Domesticity worth ten percent of vote.
-Yeah, but she lacks the core lunatics our guy has!
-Exactly! Just one more task and we win! I stride forth to the
enemy camp! Not afraid to be a hero!
-And?
-Why offer not to use our opposition research if they
promise the same!
-A bluff!
-Why would you use that word?
-Sorry, I...
-Nah! It’s okay. I’m just surprised because it's the
precisely right one!
Labels: campaign, dirt, Opposition Research, political bluff, political dirt
Wednesday, July 03, 2013
Truth whispered due to raw context
Supporting Three
1/ Oh my God the august actual head of the totally large Enchilada! And poking up over our humble cubicle!
-That new creamer tastes like crap!
2/ Not a fan?
-Throw it out and go buy the old kind again.
1/ Done!
-And who's working on my speech? Raise hands! Okay,
the usual trio of idiots. Well, put in more Freedom!
2/ Especially pertaining to eternal vigilance?
-Bingo fuckin bingo! They eat that shit up!
3/ Perfect scam.
-I heard that, Whisperer. Why does he always whisper?
Anyway, o brilliant tightass, nothing is perfect in politics.
Labels: campaign, Enchilada, freedom, political speech, vigilance
Friday, October 05, 2012
The Last Days of Campaign
-My image not absurd enough, you have
me at war with a cartoon character.
-My kids love Oookie Dookie!
-Where's the percentage?
-The votes of a few thousand maniacs.
-How about the ones of those who will write
Oookie Dookie in.
-Great! Your opponent's loss.
-How do you figure?
-No Oookie Dookie fans'd ever vote for you
anyway. He's silly and funny and goofy.
-I can be...
-You couldn't get a laugh at a funeral.
-But my own'd provoke quite a few!
-Whoa! Boss! That there is wit! Like a
whatchacallit bug in amber.
-This whatchacallit campaign is in amber.
-Forever.
-My image not absurd enough, you have
me at war with a cartoon character.
-My kids love Oookie Dookie!
-Where's the percentage?
-The votes of a few thousand maniacs.
-How about the ones of those who will write
Oookie Dookie in.
-Great! Your opponent's loss.
-How do you figure?
-No Oookie Dookie fans'd ever vote for you
anyway. He's silly and funny and goofy.
-I can be...
-You couldn't get a laugh at a funeral.
-But my own'd provoke quite a few!
-Whoa! Boss! That there is wit! Like a
whatchacallit bug in amber.
-This whatchacallit campaign is in amber.
-Forever.
Labels: campaign, cartoon character, politics
Friday, September 07, 2012
Inner Campaign
-Your opponent has breast cancer.
-Just one side. I can pin her down on the other.
-How can you live with yourself?
-Nothing’s fuckin easier.
-I...don’t know...
-Grow up! It’s war!
-More like pigs!
-Yeah? Well get out there and squeeze the biggest porkers
so they squeal. Squeal lahk a pig!
-Deliverance.
-What we’re promising, Sonny Boy!
Labels: breast cancer, campaign, partisan, party politics
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Order From Campaign
“Ideas getting on people’s nerves. Time to cast a light!
Fetch a sinner from the list.”
Labels: campaign, negative advertising
Monday, March 28, 2011
How Glows the Nominee
Truly scrapes The American Grain
that a wealthy and successful person
can be a dunderhead. Secretly laughing,
cynics manipulate idiocy
into a run at the Presidency,
boosting endless blab of
God and Free Enterprise
(synonymous) while lining up
the ducks on the fetid pond.
Labels: campaign, cynic, idiot, nomination
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Senator and Campaign Director
-Five hundred K is a hunk of change.
-Best thus far.
-Who are they?
-Americans For Adjustment.
-That doesn't tell me anything.
-Oh the usual suspects among pissed billionaires.
-What do they want?
-Evidently fog. Can't make head nor tail
from their website.
-Well, give me the Readers Digest version.
-They wanna go up everybody's ass. Midst flags.
-Achieving patriotic greatness by enforcing behavior.
The America of Convenience.
-Yeah, theirs.
-So, people give money for themselves? I’ve got to juggle
them with real people.
-What?
-Okay, real people is a fiction. Let me have some fun here!
-Five hundred K is a hunk of change.
-Best thus far.
-Who are they?
-Americans For Adjustment.
-That doesn't tell me anything.
-Oh the usual suspects among pissed billionaires.
-What do they want?
-Evidently fog. Can't make head nor tail
from their website.
-Well, give me the Readers Digest version.
-They wanna go up everybody's ass. Midst flags.
-Achieving patriotic greatness by enforcing behavior.
The America of Convenience.
-Yeah, theirs.
-So, people give money for themselves? I’ve got to juggle
them with real people.
-What?
-Okay, real people is a fiction. Let me have some fun here!
Labels: campaign, Citizens United, fund raising, senator
Friday, April 30, 2010
Big Enchilada to Pleasing Operative
(some divine Wall St parallel)
I don’t have time for this bullshit. They say A and we counter with B? Prissy crap! Just fuckin lie! Lie! And pound it pound it pound it!
Did I say pound it?
Of course I’ll answer a question. Or QUERy, considering the source.
Truth got no edge. Period. End of story. So, fuck it till it dies!
Then start on the corpse.
(some divine Wall St parallel)
I don’t have time for this bullshit. They say A and we counter with B? Prissy crap! Just fuckin lie! Lie! And pound it pound it pound it!
Did I say pound it?
Of course I’ll answer a question. Or QUERy, considering the source.
Truth got no edge. Period. End of story. So, fuck it till it dies!
Then start on the corpse.
Labels: campaign, Wall Street
