Monday, January 09, 2017
The Reinvention of the Wheel Goes Not At All
-When I finally got up to the front of the
line, a Sears' lady gave me a shirt and
their apologies. Hokie Kennedy, the hockey
guy? Last line they introduced.
-Capitalism's last slap-shot to your balls!
-Not quite. I'll be able to use the old Sears
card in Dillards, Kohls, and...one other.
-Thus does the despised system prosper in
adversity. Like a huge bag of shit you punch
to exhaustion!
-I've stopped. Shoulders tired, arms tired,
the whole works ready for a gin and tonic!
-You're done!
-Just about! Why am I happy?
-That's the whole goal! Make you just nuts
enough.
-Look! Karl Freakin Marx, I got a shirt!
Every system tends towards Tyranny!
Government the very worst! I go with the
one gives me a shirt!
-Slave! Slave mentality.
-Oh Massa! Buy Old George a tie, now, for
funerals?
-YOU’RE THE REASON SOCIALISM FAILS HERE!
-Would you like my autograph?
Labels: bankruptcy, Capitalism, Marx, Sears, Slavery, socialism, tyranny
Monday, March 09, 2009
Short Financial Episode
INTERNAL CRITIC
I just have a couple of things to say and I’m outa here.
One, this firm has leveraged itself into absurdity. Eventually you have
to possess money! You must pay! No matter how many rings a circus has,
it eventually finds itself dark and nobody in the seats.
Two, we’ve fallen into the insurance business with credit default swaps
or whatever asinine labels they bear. There is no, I repeat, NO cash reserve
to pay claims. Not only will they come soon, but they’ll be arriving in floods!
I’d like to say we’re bankrupt, but it’s far worse. We’re actually ruined!
Well, I said my piece. Thanks for listening. And now I’m DEFINITELY outa here!
(door clicks)
COMMITTEE MEMBER
Wow!
CHAIRMAN
What a pussy!
INTERNAL CRITIC
I just have a couple of things to say and I’m outa here.
One, this firm has leveraged itself into absurdity. Eventually you have
to possess money! You must pay! No matter how many rings a circus has,
it eventually finds itself dark and nobody in the seats.
Two, we’ve fallen into the insurance business with credit default swaps
or whatever asinine labels they bear. There is no, I repeat, NO cash reserve
to pay claims. Not only will they come soon, but they’ll be arriving in floods!
I’d like to say we’re bankrupt, but it’s far worse. We’re actually ruined!
Well, I said my piece. Thanks for listening. And now I’m DEFINITELY outa here!
(door clicks)
COMMITTEE MEMBER
Wow!
CHAIRMAN
What a pussy!
Labels: bankruptcy, credit default swaps, insurance, leverage
