Friday, October 28, 2011
Wall St
I underwent homework when
financial scandals first smashed.
Searched “Credit Default Swaps” etc.
Deriving Wall St sort of smarmy pick-
up. Forgotten most. Do know it boils
down to crooks and patsies.
The crooks must ante up to
keep from jail. Who wouldn’t?
The patsies, us, enabling
the whole demonic coil.
I think now of a desert-
locked monastery, the monks fig-
uring how to screw God himself.
Labels: credit default swaps, Wall Street
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Now THAT'S Affirmative Action
In hearings investigating
the appalling financial disaster,
we usually get paunchy execs called
onto the broadloom, or their wolf-
ish accountant-henchmen. But today
we have women! And they fucked
the doomed American Public just
as efficaciously by shoving up
these meretricious fantasies.
Labels: banks, brokerage, credit default swaps, depression, finance, women
Monday, March 09, 2009
Short Financial Episode
INTERNAL CRITIC
I just have a couple of things to say and I’m outa here.
One, this firm has leveraged itself into absurdity. Eventually you have
to possess money! You must pay! No matter how many rings a circus has,
it eventually finds itself dark and nobody in the seats.
Two, we’ve fallen into the insurance business with credit default swaps
or whatever asinine labels they bear. There is no, I repeat, NO cash reserve
to pay claims. Not only will they come soon, but they’ll be arriving in floods!
I’d like to say we’re bankrupt, but it’s far worse. We’re actually ruined!
Well, I said my piece. Thanks for listening. And now I’m DEFINITELY outa here!
(door clicks)
COMMITTEE MEMBER
Wow!
CHAIRMAN
What a pussy!
INTERNAL CRITIC
I just have a couple of things to say and I’m outa here.
One, this firm has leveraged itself into absurdity. Eventually you have
to possess money! You must pay! No matter how many rings a circus has,
it eventually finds itself dark and nobody in the seats.
Two, we’ve fallen into the insurance business with credit default swaps
or whatever asinine labels they bear. There is no, I repeat, NO cash reserve
to pay claims. Not only will they come soon, but they’ll be arriving in floods!
I’d like to say we’re bankrupt, but it’s far worse. We’re actually ruined!
Well, I said my piece. Thanks for listening. And now I’m DEFINITELY outa here!
(door clicks)
COMMITTEE MEMBER
Wow!
CHAIRMAN
What a pussy!
Labels: bankruptcy, credit default swaps, insurance, leverage
