Saturday, January 21, 2017
Bureaucracy Oy!
-Your Prostate Claim refused
because you're Female.
-Not last time I looked.
-Oh? Then I'll put you down as
Claims Male.
-Do that!
-However, we have a route for
immediate payment.
-Better yet!
-The Cralzer-Demsel Index of
Sexuality. You have CDI of 61.
That's male enough for payment.
-But I'll still be Female in your records?
-No action and you'll revert to Male.
-No Action is my middle name!
-We still have one piece of business, however.
You'll be using your CDI as a BC.
-Pardon?
-Bureaucratic Convenience, while your original maleness gets settled.
-I don't know...
-Got the stamp right here. BC!
-Okay, use it.
-Done!
-Wow! You are one loud stamper!
-Known for it!
Labels: bureaucracy, claim, insurance claim, medical insurance
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Tabernacle
-Due to our stupid retirement policy, we’ve lost Gladys.
-Queen of Denial!
-The rare times she approved claims, she grew irritable, sour.
-The body language. And that face!
-Ah but when she was in form?
-Metamorphosis!
-It was even...
-Sexual. She came like a machine gun!
-One time I walked by her office and the coffee vibrated in my
styrofoam cup!
-You felt Insurance!
Labels: claim, health insurance
Monday, August 25, 2008
The Insurance Seminar
LEADER
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What was that word? Say that one again, Rookie, but softly.
NOVICE
Claim.
LEADER
That's a misunderstanding, perverse and mischievous!
NOVICE
Part of the industry.
LEADER
No no no! That's the thinking that'll sink yuh! Repeat!
ALL
That's the thinking that'll sink yuh!
LEADER
Premium! That's the word! That's the magic. That's everything.
There's nothing else! Premium!
ALL
Premium! There's nothing else!
NOVICE
So why bother getting insurance?
LEADER
Why for protection! Grownups will buy it, and I'll train you to be
a grownup to administer it. Then, everybody’ll understand the world!
NOVICE
The world is shit!
LEADER
Bingo!
LEADER
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What was that word? Say that one again, Rookie, but softly.
NOVICE
Claim.
LEADER
That's a misunderstanding, perverse and mischievous!
NOVICE
Part of the industry.
LEADER
No no no! That's the thinking that'll sink yuh! Repeat!
ALL
That's the thinking that'll sink yuh!
LEADER
Premium! That's the word! That's the magic. That's everything.
There's nothing else! Premium!
ALL
Premium! There's nothing else!
NOVICE
So why bother getting insurance?
LEADER
Why for protection! Grownups will buy it, and I'll train you to be
a grownup to administer it. Then, everybody’ll understand the world!
NOVICE
The world is shit!
LEADER
Bingo!
Labels: claim, insurance, premium
