Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Street Life
-Her old man owned Risque Birdbath.
Over-named! Just nymphs and satyrs,
and Mr Cupid too.
-Buy one, and the little birdies sporting
among them wet!
-Consolidated Birdbath absorbed us, and
the new firm, Artform Birdbath went
public then. And Wall Street was ecstatic
by the timing!
-And your timing around there?
-Forgot my hat, and could have waited a
day, but went back late. Nothing left
of Laurtrelle's party but her.
The whole house was ticking from an ice
storm by the time we finished our hot
chocolates, and the old folks sawing
wood to beat the band! Well the slanting
ice--couldn't go home in that! So we
giggled, and fooled around.
Long story shortest, I marry into birdbaths.
I'm Vice-President when Rajon Industries
reels us in. "The lawn from ornament to
gazebo!"
-We got one! The latter.
-A year later, they force the old man into
retirement. I'm to be President, but Rajon
insists we make only Cupids.
-This move makes Wall Street happy also?
-Ecstatic! But really. Last time was a fake.
-Anyway, they had become sad with the previous setup? Setups?
-Emotion rules! Anyway, Rajon forced all these
moves, and the Wall Street Journal hailed it for
going on a diet.
-Gorge, disgorge!
-Then in a move that got praise all over
the street, Rajon expelled us totally!
So we're more or less back to the old man's
firm, though he's dead. And listed under
the old name: Risque Birdbaths or RQBB.
Then Laurtrelle expelled ME in favor of
a Line Dance Instructor!
-It’s an epidemic!
-Binnie came in to demonstrate new accounting
techniques, and they were the least of her
talents. So, New Lady!
-Did Wall Street applaud?
-You can screw your brains out for all it cares!
Labels: Big Fish Little Fish, Buying and Selling Companies, hostile takeover, listed, takeover, Wall Street
Saturday, April 18, 2015
The Ivy Snob
Nets of Silver and Gold
Rens met the trio in the laundry room.
Two six-packs, and they kept offering
beers. They had just come out of the
state university, and were alarmingly
allusive in Lit and History.
After a few beers, Rens told them.
“Look! I’m a snob. Just let it go!
Underneath I’m even worse.”
“We never met anyone like you. Should be
in a case at the Smithsonian,” laughed Wynken.
“Brilliantly lit!” added Blynken.
“And revolving!” screamed Nod. Yes, screamed!
He had gotten a head start by drinking in
the afternoon.
From then on, a quartet. Rens felt inferior
to their quick wit, and read the books that had
been actually assigned in the courses he had
bullshitted through.
With girls, different. They had three steadies
from the opinion survey team they worked on.
Rens had none and no possibilities. He worked
for his uncle in Finance, bouncing around
small New Jersey branches.
Gwennie coming along one night for no apparent
reason, Blynken phoned Rens.
She proved...Chemistry! At least that’s how he
tried explaining it.
And a great beauty!
“Great Beauty my ass! I wanna DO something in
this world. Not ornament it. And Chemistry begins with C. There’s a whole range of other letters!”
She moved into his studio apartment after a bit,
and they often lapsed into theoretical talk of
marriage.
“My mother’d love you! Manners. She eats that
crap up!”
The quartet, and the one of girls, did several
things together. Great days and nights!”
Then Wynken told him that the trio would be
‘sailing off in their wooden shoe.’ Grad work at
Indiana where they got a pretty good deal for all.
“Of course, we want you too.”
“Impossible!” he pronounced in French. “And you don’t NEED...”
“Not a great mystery, Rens. We love you.”
He told Gwennie that night, with the news, too,
that his uncle’s firm was establishing headquarters in Newark, leaving Wall Street. So he had to move there in the new scheme.
He omitted the uncle’s racist jokes involving spear-carrier guides.
“Trains run both ways,” she told him. “Love can move with them.”
Altogether too much ‘love’ of a day and evening, and he stayed up late reading his lease and figuring an escape
from it.
Gwennie slept nested in his old JPress shirt, singing, just audibly, the Broadway tunes her mother adored.
It felt so pretty he fell asleep at his computer.
Woke up in the red light of his clock radio, face soaked
with tears.
“This...won’t do!” he informed 3:00 AM.
“A River of Crystal Light,” muttered Gwennie.
“Go back to sleep. No such thing.”
“Where are you going, and what do you wish?”
“Nowhere. Nothing.”
Labels: Blynken, Eugene Field, Ivy League, Newark, Nod, River of Crystal Light, Wall Street, Wynken
Thursday, February 19, 2015
The Nose on Your Ear
-Well, paid all my bills except the one.
-Run outa checks?
-Nope. Lost it.
-Call up! Ask them how much, etcetera.
-Don't remember who they is!
-If you was a company, you flop!
-Ah, but not before firing half the workers.
-Go on!
-Eliminating all vacations and overtime!
-Bingo!
-And then cutting the wages of the remaining
terrorized in half!
-Capitalism is one slicing marvel! Is the Big
Boss done?
-Raids the pension plan.
-Where you been? They’s gone long ago! Replaced
by IRAs, or THE WALL STREET BONANZA GOUGE.
-No matter, for now that he's whipped you into
submission, you're the chief selling-point
when he unloads to a competitor.
-Another Republican?
-Mais oui! What else?
-I can get ALONG with this new guy!
-First one fired!
-Too bad. I came close to working for nothing!
-That's the perfection they're aiming for.
They call it the Right To Work For Nothing.
-Well, good luck to the seven left.
-They're dismissed! Plant moves South!
-His first mistake! To the Land of Take This
Job and Shove It ?
-Things get shoved all right! Up the rectum
of the most docile and cowardly workers
in the world!
-Outside of Asia?
-Asian companies come there. Case closed.
-Will Cornpone Capitalism save the world?
-Undoubtedly! Plain as the nose on your ear.
-Psychosomatic. Now that I'm fired, I expect
it to migrate back to its proper place.
-We must keep our place. Therein lies happiness!
-Lies happen!
Labels: American Capitalism, benefits, Cornpone Capitalism, low wages, pay, Race to Bottom, Republican, Right To Work, South, Southern worker, wages, Wall Street
Friday, May 30, 2014
Champion of Whatever
Solon and Aide
-Whatever happened to Fiercely Independent Champion
of the Working Man and Woman?
-Not a thing. You keep saying it!
-Won't your Wall Street Bankers get pissed?
-You don't get to be a Wall Street Banker unless you
know everything is bullshit.
-Or a Senator?
-Church Dude...whatever. You name it!
-And your favorite movie, The Sound of Music?
-And you’re (sings) a bird that is learning to sing.
-The NRA wants me blasted away.
-No rhyming in the office!
-Where do you stand on Gun Control?
-I don’t stand anywhere. For anything. I persuade.
-What are you persuading your gun nuts to...?
-Not to bring a bazooka to a pea-shooting contest.
-The latter weapon will be a great help when the black
and Hispanic Marauders come down the hill!
-I’m persuading ‘em: Stay up there!
-Let’s start casting you as Peacemaker!
-Bi-fuckin-partisan!
Labels: black, bullshit, compromise, gun control, Hispanic, NRA, senator, Wall Street, Working Man, Working Woman
Friday, December 14, 2012
Least Stage
“Oh Rensselaer!
You’re so polytechnic!”
Thus was I defamed
among his lesser turns.
I wanted him killed off in
The Great War, but our frame
proved skirmish only,
where many were chosen
but few called
to any duty save
money grubbing.
Necessary always though
hardly the stuff
of Romantic Legend.
We died,
and that’s always a moment,
but I’d be hard
put delineating others.
Labels: regret, romantic, Wall Street
Thursday, August 02, 2012
Hedge Funder at Starbucks on
the Laybouts as Art History Majors
Need to know
Van Gogh?
Cezanne and Frogs?
Plus the Pop frauds?
Showboat Dali? All
necessarily pale
next to Derivatives.
Wall Street Wheel flies
apart periodically. So?
Nature of the Beast. Required
then are spokes. These
could be trained once
nonsense drained.
Labels: art, Art History, derivatives, Hedge Fund, Starbucks, Wall Street
Monday, March 19, 2012
Formula
Take the sleaziest used car thief
polluting the industrial slime
of some Georgia backwater,
add the “salesmen”
being deposited
there from battered SUVs.
Levines the Machines to fleece
the hicks with promises of presents.
(There will definitely be pie in the sky.
But you must move fast or my manager
will withdraw this offer!) Take these
and multiply exponentially
and you approximate Wall Street.
Labels: backwater, sleaze, Wall Street
Monday, January 16, 2012
Talent
The Firm, ruined
for all intents and
seedy purposes
sucks bailout juice
from Uncle and amps
a truly magnificent
portion thereof for
bonuses, retaining
thus, executive "talent."
Any more of the latter
and we'll all be shoving
battered shopping carts
to rescue wretched lamps from
dumpsters and keep our place
at the raucous soup kitchen.
The Firm, ruined
for all intents and
seedy purposes
sucks bailout juice
from Uncle and amps
a truly magnificent
portion thereof for
bonuses, retaining
thus, executive "talent."
Any more of the latter
and we'll all be shoving
battered shopping carts
to rescue wretched lamps from
dumpsters and keep our place
at the raucous soup kitchen.
Labels: "talent", Wall Street
Friday, October 28, 2011
Wall St
I underwent homework when
financial scandals first smashed.
Searched “Credit Default Swaps” etc.
Deriving Wall St sort of smarmy pick-
up. Forgotten most. Do know it boils
down to crooks and patsies.
The crooks must ante up to
keep from jail. Who wouldn’t?
The patsies, us, enabling
the whole demonic coil.
I think now of a desert-
locked monastery, the monks fig-
uring how to screw God himself.
Labels: credit default swaps, Wall Street
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Visions
-If she can see the future, how come she messed
so much up?
-Trying to change a few things.
-Betting against herself. Shorting herself.
-Chuck the Wall Street crap! It corrupts us.
-This is the business we've chosen!
-Apt.
-If she can see the future, how come she messed
so much up?
-Trying to change a few things.
-Betting against herself. Shorting herself.
-Chuck the Wall Street crap! It corrupts us.
-This is the business we've chosen!
-Apt.
Labels: corruption, future, vision, Wall Street
Friday, January 28, 2011
Minority Financial Disaster Report
Republicans spread widest
the blame, banker thieves
perhaps not gaining their
just proportion thereby.
Though I believe that
they believe what
they believe, it's mostly
Grand Old Wall Street Love!
The object of
such awe
still spinning straw
from gold.
Labels: Financial Commision, Republican, Wall Street
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Street Telling
A leak! We're no better than politicians. But let me set the stage
here: blackest week in the general plunge. Everything in the toilet,
so we had a party! And, understandably, some satire emerged.
And, yes, we did perform the now-famous Fuck the Widows
and Orphans Dance. But only after mega gallons of booze.
Anyway, I fell down in the general hilarity but others soldiered on,
our latent homos even trying to give it some artistry.
But, don't worry, no females, so no sweet vacancies offended.
Well, the waitresses, but they don't count.
Labels: Wall Street, Widows and Orphans
Friday, April 30, 2010
Big Enchilada to Pleasing Operative
(some divine Wall St parallel)
I don’t have time for this bullshit. They say A and we counter with B? Prissy crap! Just fuckin lie! Lie! And pound it pound it pound it!
Did I say pound it?
Of course I’ll answer a question. Or QUERy, considering the source.
Truth got no edge. Period. End of story. So, fuck it till it dies!
Then start on the corpse.
(some divine Wall St parallel)
I don’t have time for this bullshit. They say A and we counter with B? Prissy crap! Just fuckin lie! Lie! And pound it pound it pound it!
Did I say pound it?
Of course I’ll answer a question. Or QUERy, considering the source.
Truth got no edge. Period. End of story. So, fuck it till it dies!
Then start on the corpse.
Labels: campaign, Wall Street
Thursday, April 29, 2010
In Selling Smoke
on Wall Street it
is understood.
Divert a shaft
of light to lend
dimension, so
calf can stagger
back to teachers’
pension fund or such
& blurt “I purchased it cuz
what I saw looked good!”
Labels: Wall Street Diversion, Wall Street, Wall Street Thieves
Monday, March 15, 2010
Wall Street
Patsy of Last Resort,
Uncle, acts Bagman. So
criminals turn off panic
mode & party instead,
toasting bonuses.
Labels: Wall Street
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Wall Street Execs, Bigtime
-Cargo pants hardly the look for The Street!
-I’m big enough to wear anything.
-Yeah! And besides, you like the huge pockets?
-This one for Republicans, this one for Democrats.
Labels: Democrats, Republicans, Wall Street
Thursday, January 14, 2010
A Marriage of Fury
Fringe-o Liberals
and Tea Partiers
impale each other
on satire's blade
with animating gusto.
Too bad. They could
make common cause. A-
gainst Wall Street, for one.
Those slicers and dicers
devising insane "products"
to boost bonuses of pirates,
then receiving government bail-
outs for egregious criminality. So
link hands in anger! The rest
being literary pose,
easy to dispense with.
Labels: liberal, Tea Partiers, Wall Street, Wall Street Casino
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Comedy on Wall Street
-Some columnist wants you to go on TV and explain what you do, and why you’re paid so much.
-John Q interested huh? Whether he knows it or not.
-What would you say, Chief? With all due respect.
-See this right arm? I’d demonstrate how I apply Vaseline to get it even further up his ass!
-I thank God every night that I work here. Nobody knows how funny you are!
-Not trying to be.
-Some columnist wants you to go on TV and explain what you do, and why you’re paid so much.
-John Q interested huh? Whether he knows it or not.
-What would you say, Chief? With all due respect.
-See this right arm? I’d demonstrate how I apply Vaseline to get it even further up his ass!
-I thank God every night that I work here. Nobody knows how funny you are!
-Not trying to be.
Labels: Wall Street
Monday, April 06, 2009
Cramer Dismantled By Jon Stewart
So what? Not a bad dude. Like
others, grew drunk from
bubbles, bobbed high
on corporate gas, inhaling.
We are all just prisoners here,
of our own device. Hooked on
toxic Republican whore-
shit, mocked real jobs thus
by camping theirs. What’s
next? & how
many’ll camp up
The Dance of Death?--
Capital’s Corpse rises
now, beckoning us
to hold hands a-
cross quicklime.
So what? Not a bad dude. Like
others, grew drunk from
bubbles, bobbed high
on corporate gas, inhaling.
We are all just prisoners here,
of our own device. Hooked on
toxic Republican whore-
shit, mocked real jobs thus
by camping theirs. What’s
next? & how
many’ll camp up
The Dance of Death?--
Capital’s Corpse rises
now, beckoning us
to hold hands a-
cross quicklime.
Labels: bubble, Cramer, Stewart, Wall Street
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Virulent Static
Talk of executive gouging
aided by lay-down boards,mas-
sive chicanery of all stripes
ruining little guys. Wheels
within slimy wheels. 360-
Swindles accompanying bells
& whistles,smoking
mirrors...why you’d
think Wall Street
did nothing else!
Talk of executive gouging
aided by lay-down boards,mas-
sive chicanery of all stripes
ruining little guys. Wheels
within slimy wheels. 360-
Swindles accompanying bells
& whistles,smoking
mirrors...why you’d
think Wall Street
did nothing else!
Labels: Wall Street
