Tuesday, June 10, 2014
The Brand New Revolution
The Relatively Happy Manager
was shattered at work that Monday
with the news that all the fork-lifts
were missing. The usual drivers watched
porno and sent out for donuts.
His supervisors screamed as usual, but in
a higher key.
Just acting. They had rented out the machines at
an exorbitant rate to The John Galt Physicians Corps, who were attacking City Hall at that moment.
Part of the First Privatized Revolution-–eschewing
the Army, any government component--were soon
joined by Chamber of Commerce types who gouged
everybody buying munitions.
The revolutionaries soon began fighting among
themselves over eventual splits of booty.
City Hall forgotten as a prize, and destroyed.
The overall leader, a militant accountant, was
summarily executed on the smoking ruins
by The Tea Party Patriotic Brigade.
A Rabbi went on TV to plead for reconciliation
but was ridiculed for not carrying a gun.
The other clergy had leased tanks from NATO partners.
One shadowy group who proudly called themselves
Wingnuts for Capitalism claimed they had the bomb, and would explode it at a random National Football League game.
Con men were freed from Danbury and other federal prisons.
One became the new, nominal leader, saying,
in his best Patrick Henry imitation: "The opportunity to so massively steal cannot be ignored."
Well, Money never lost a war. Or a revolution?
But shouldn’t either have some ideals? Okay, stupid
question. For America anyway.
The Commercial is Everything! had been the motto
going in. Most of the spouters are dead but the
words live on.
Non-revolutionaries held for ransom. The case
with our original manager. His wife fetched him
for ten thousand and they immediately left for
Paraguay.
Labels: American Capitalism, Commercialism, privatization, revolution
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Which of these is NOT a vegetable?
a) Broccoli
b) Kale
c) Interesting
Both Nop and Ripper picked c. Nop because
he thought it was a trick question.
Rip because it was a stupid answer and the
program and teachers were beyond stupid.
One of the objects seemed to be that students
helped each other. Fulfilled in a way with Rip
fleshing out Nop's machine pistol fantasy
for him, directed at the most caustic instructor.
They played the way children do. “I must sneak in
and he’s at the board, and I order him to turn
around.”
“Nah, you must just wait there until he senses your
intellectual presence, and turns around.”
“You promised stop teasing me!”
The question in question crossed the desk of
Sen Crons, who then deemed the program
worthy of his Golden Pickle Award.
But when Fruitful Steps became Ever Glowing Dawn
with privatization, he backed off–-brother-in-law
now heading it up.
He phoned him. "Word to the wise," he began.
a) Broccoli
b) Kale
c) Interesting
Both Nop and Ripper picked c. Nop because
he thought it was a trick question.
Rip because it was a stupid answer and the
program and teachers were beyond stupid.
One of the objects seemed to be that students
helped each other. Fulfilled in a way with Rip
fleshing out Nop's machine pistol fantasy
for him, directed at the most caustic instructor.
They played the way children do. “I must sneak in
and he’s at the board, and I order him to turn
around.”
“Nah, you must just wait there until he senses your
intellectual presence, and turns around.”
“You promised stop teasing me!”
The question in question crossed the desk of
Sen Crons, who then deemed the program
worthy of his Golden Pickle Award.
But when Fruitful Steps became Ever Glowing Dawn
with privatization, he backed off–-brother-in-law
now heading it up.
He phoned him. "Word to the wise," he began.
Labels: education, government program, privatization
Tuesday, October 09, 2012
The Pool of Grim Price
Always a private pool
you can get into,
thus reducing your costs
through competition.
Ah yes, the beloved horn-
swaggle of privatization,
where you eventually pay more
than under bumbling government.
“But only because you forgot to factor
in a and b,” maintain accountancy shills.
Or c? Enabling Enchiladas buying whores
buttercreams forever.
Always a private pool
you can get into,
thus reducing your costs
through competition.
Ah yes, the beloved horn-
swaggle of privatization,
where you eventually pay more
than under bumbling government.
“But only because you forgot to factor
in a and b,” maintain accountancy shills.
Or c? Enabling Enchiladas buying whores
buttercreams forever.
Labels: capitalistic corruption, corruption, medical insurance, privatization
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
The Great Privatization
-We got a Bangla for President.
Ten bucks a day.
-And VP?
-His brother-in-law for five.
-And their staffs?
-They don't need no staffs of lazy bums.
Used to working hard.
-Man! You've saved millions off the bat.
-Still slow going though. We just finished
with FBI.
-Eskimos?
-Don't be funny! We're getting the
Bangla to issue Executive Order.
Humor must be announced
beforehand. Too much time sorting
things out.
-I'll walk that back.
-Never mind. Apologies waste time also.
-At any rate...?
-FBI all India Indians now.
-How's that working out?
-Fine if your don't mind the curry stinks!
-That's humor!
-I'm exempt.
-We got a Bangla for President.
Ten bucks a day.
-And VP?
-His brother-in-law for five.
-And their staffs?
-They don't need no staffs of lazy bums.
Used to working hard.
-Man! You've saved millions off the bat.
-Still slow going though. We just finished
with FBI.
-Eskimos?
-Don't be funny! We're getting the
Bangla to issue Executive Order.
Humor must be announced
beforehand. Too much time sorting
things out.
-I'll walk that back.
-Never mind. Apologies waste time also.
-At any rate...?
-FBI all India Indians now.
-How's that working out?
-Fine if your don't mind the curry stinks!
-That's humor!
-I'm exempt.
Labels: privatization
Wednesday, August 01, 2012
The Law of Intended Consequences
-Last form I downloaded crashed my computer!
Decided on a new one, but salesman couldn't
guarantee it wouldn't...
-If he did, wiggle room would get him out of it
in the event of the same disaster. Covering your
ass is the greatest accomplishment of our time.
-Anyway, decided to come to you instead.
Steer me through the bureaucratic maze.
But why on earth have they made it so...?
-Money in complexity. Thus is added layer upon
layer. A man's grasp should exceed his reach!
...or do I have that bass-ackwards? The language
was so confusing when Browning said it.
If she did.
-I thought that the idea of privatizing so
much was supposed to streamline things,
drive down taxes. They've quadrupled!
-Be careful what you believe in. Have you
finished signing the forms?
-All twenty six!
-We've managed to hold that number down.
-And now you can help me with my so simple
request?
-Many here worked for the company in question.
They know the pulleys and gears and their
infinite arrangements.
-You've not mention a fee and I've been
steeling myself to hear it.
-Nothing. A service of your government.
-You mean you're...? Isn't that topsy-turvey?
I mean you once employed a private firm
to get you through the governmental hoops.
-All's one now, isn't it?
Labels: bureaucracy, privatization
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Right Education Philosophy
-We want to destroy public education because it's a failure!
-Stick with that! But it's a mixed bag. Handsome success
in communities with some money.
-But the others?
-Producing sordid little units. That's where we take over.
Because that’s where the humongous profits are!
-From poor districts?
-Mais oui! Hire idealistic kids from college, pay peanuts,
give them a bushwah lesson structure purporting to spit forth
sharp little citizens...
-But really manufacturing the same sordid little units.
-You can't shine shit.
-Then why bother?
-Because privatization is the golden goose everywhere.
Education is by light years the very plumpest one!
My mouth waters!
-I...still worry about the future.
-Nonsense! You make money you buy the future!
What could be simpler?
-We want to destroy public education because it's a failure!
-Stick with that! But it's a mixed bag. Handsome success
in communities with some money.
-But the others?
-Producing sordid little units. That's where we take over.
Because that’s where the humongous profits are!
-From poor districts?
-Mais oui! Hire idealistic kids from college, pay peanuts,
give them a bushwah lesson structure purporting to spit forth
sharp little citizens...
-But really manufacturing the same sordid little units.
-You can't shine shit.
-Then why bother?
-Because privatization is the golden goose everywhere.
Education is by light years the very plumpest one!
My mouth waters!
-I...still worry about the future.
-Nonsense! You make money you buy the future!
What could be simpler?
Labels: ; Republican, education, privatization, public education, Right
Monday, August 18, 2008
The General Future
-Simple Question, General: Have Blackwater mercenaries fired
on our troops?
-Simple Answer: Pretty complex situations. Often chaotic.
-That’s the political answer.
-So be it.
-How do you feel about one of your troopers thus killed?
How do you phrase the letter to his parents?
-Never mind all that! We can take them down anytime we please.
-Friends of the president!
-Him too. Now and...
-Important thinking. How soon before military takeover? Ballpark?
-I'm sorry. I can't understand that question.
-Don’t worry. Be at ease. It’ll be a privatized army and you’ll
take your orders from it.
-Simple Question, General: Have Blackwater mercenaries fired
on our troops?
-Simple Answer: Pretty complex situations. Often chaotic.
-That’s the political answer.
-So be it.
-How do you feel about one of your troopers thus killed?
How do you phrase the letter to his parents?
-Never mind all that! We can take them down anytime we please.
-Friends of the president!
-Him too. Now and...
-Important thinking. How soon before military takeover? Ballpark?
-I'm sorry. I can't understand that question.
-Don’t worry. Be at ease. It’ll be a privatized army and you’ll
take your orders from it.
Labels: Blackwater, privatization, revolution
