Friday, April 01, 2022
Degrees
She gets 2d Doctorate, Jun.
Cambridge. 1st Berlin. At age
when women dream of
Prince Charming
pissing in their boudoirs,
she plots 3rd PhD from
--you'll never believe it!--
DAKAR.
Labels: Berlin, brilliant, Cambridge, Dakar, education, Prince Charming
Sunday, September 09, 2018
How Create Despite Education
Give Inner Professor
sophisticated
coloring book.
Thus keeping
tediously
distracted. Your
only chance!
Labels: creativity, dullness, education, logic, method, natural, professor
Thursday, June 14, 2018
Future Enlightenments
Arming Teachers lodged
securely in place,
Biology decides to
take out English.
“They’re so SUPERIOR
what with their quoting
Shakespeare and all
the rest of that crap!”
But Business has them
1,2.
Labels: education, Educational Rivalries, gun control, guns, high school
Monday, May 07, 2018
Wit and Dress
-Mark and Diane are highly intelligent!
Yet half the time the shirt’s on inside-out.
-Both?
-Sometimes.
-I’d be interested in the times both meet
your criteria for apparent stupidity.
-One in five!
-So! For every fifth time one or the other
has the shirt on inside out, then…
-Stop! Your type always employs language as the ultimate fuckup vehicle!
-It’s Language! You can do anything
with it!
-Apparently.
-Your sporting T-shirt’s on backwards.
-Nonsense! You can’t get me in that
foolish way.
-University Seal should be on the
front, not the back.
-Oh well...this once.
-Case closed.
-Daylight Savings...dress in the dark.
-Thousands spent on our education,
only to find there’s a reason for everything!
-You’re being sarcastic!
-Realistic.
Labels: carelessness, clothing, custom, education, individual
Friday, September 01, 2017
Debaters
First at bat, Hercule,
a weirdly-accented
Belgium who knew
literally everything!
Ask him, he'll tell you.
Our Irishman, Large-Mouth
Cass, labeled him “Poirot
without the Brains.” --This in
his middle range: he speaks about
four octaves usually.
Mostly the keening upper one.
The argumentative trio rounded
off by Belle-Claire, an American
Midwesterner warmly calm, until
a final rapier thrust to win her
the day.
Last Thursday's donnybrook
left them exhausted! No winner.
The topic?
What's the difference?
Since it always devolves to
Personality.
Then Cass whispered "All in all,
I'm glad I went to school.
Glory to the Brothers of Saint
Ambrose, and to Trinity College!"
The other two nodded. And they
never, ever, did that!
Labels: argument, Belgium, education, Irish, Mid-Western, personality, Poirot, Trinity
Thursday, June 29, 2017
Right View, Education
Penn’s Wharton School decried
for producing Donald Trump.
Hey! It’s a professional outfit!
Broad-gauged Humanists who
sob at the death of insects
can find soft homes elsewhere.
Labels: education, humanist, professional, Trump, Wharton
Thursday, April 06, 2017
At the Call Center
When Jensy actually went to work at the Call Center,
she discovered that the most sophisticated robot
had handled calls to her previously, when she had been
a mere random prospect, because she was labeled TSS.
Totally Sloppy Speaker.
That hurt, and she sought out Dr Kildad Morrisey
for enunciation lessons.
He helped her, and she eventually received a small
promotion to Rural Targets.
But, one evening she encountered an Enunciation
Emergency! Reached him on his cell at the Lakers
Game, where he drunkenly labeled her a stupid
hillbilly!
She flew into the embrace of old Dixon at the
Akimbo Arms Tavern.
“Why do they hurt and hurt and hurt?” he asks.
“They say it’s to make us better.”
“Bullshit! It’s for their own vile sickness!”
Labels: 800 number, Call Center, class, education, pronunciation, rural
Saturday, September 24, 2016
Professor
-What I thought and said then was
of that time. I'm different now.
-Well, however sliced today, your students
liked it then. A character!
-I just have ID to worry about presently.
-Identification?
-Impending Death.
-What's He like?
-Patient.
-Well don't piss Him off! I know you!
Labels: character, death, education, Grim Reaper, higher education, personality, professor
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
The Future of Just About Everything
After the hockey game, jerseys
and girls hundred each.
We indulged. What else can we do?
Answered by Chips, whose uncle
had a book.
We gave the jerseys to the girls.
Always do the generous thing, no?--
noblesse fuckin oblige--and ported
to a place called Paterson.
A poem was named for it once, or
vice versa.
The girls had looked mega-cute, but
the book is boards, like. With paper
inside? French and Indian War. I kept
hitting it to change the topic, but
you're stuck with the one.
“Must be the only war the French won,”
mused Chips.
“Sachem is dying under the Eiffel Tower,”
I prompted him, “and Pierre, his noble
murderer in the American style, speaks.”
"Tough merde, mon ami."
We couldn't stop laughing.
All right, all right: babies! Wastrels!
Bums! The worst of everything and pretty
ignorant too.
Though I'd like to point out that we have many
degrees between us. Forgot most of the Majors.
The government put a limit on them, so we do
nothing now.
Live on the Dole, Pineapple!
Please laugh. We just die if people don't.
Gets too, whatchallit, existential!
Worry not of the Future of the Nation,
Messy Amis, because we're promised
jobs next year.
Forty considered a good starting age,
according to most Sociologists.
Hafta curtail the women then. Patriotism!
Well, it was great fun but it was just
one of those thongs.
Labels: American Future, assing around, education, future, patriotism, thong, unemployment, waste time, wastrel, women
Monday, December 30, 2013
Ivy South
Right Wing Ignoramus, Exhibit A-e & B-e*
-You jawin' bout that Colored Boy down there?
-I is for a fact. The one talks like a girl and walks like a girl.
-Does it have a boyfriend.
-I suspect. When Queerville merges with Nigville, you get
no end of wonders!
-You enjoy talkin the way we did before you went off
to the Yale College?
-You can take the Swamp outa the boy...and in your case,
the Hahvaaaahd place couldn't pull off the trick neither.
-So we continues enjoying the pig wallow that's the Republican Party!
-Sneer when you say that! You can take the pigshit outa
the boy, but...
-Uh huh? Old theme!
-I know, I know. Long's they don't take the Wall Street out.
-Ah-fuckin-men to that!
*e=Educated
Labels: education, good ole boys, Harvard, prejudice, Racial Republicans, Wall St, Yale
Friday, July 19, 2013
Spreading the Goodies
Placement
-Well, he’s the most ignorant man I know. Buffoon to boot!
-That may well be, but we owe him.
-Liquor Control Board or some place he can do no harm?
-Those are plum jobs, and therefore spoken for.
-Well, tell him thanks for his service to the Party and...
-President of one of the smaller state colleges?
-The man’s articulate as a toad!
-Get him a decent suit, he’s distinguished.
-The faculty union wouldn’t stand for it.
-Not at first, but they like talking. We’ll have long talks
where they’ll see the light.
-Make them a deal they can’t refuse?
-Precisely, though I don’t care for the imagery.
-From...Godfather?
-You get A.
Labels: education, political jobs, politics
Tuesday, May 07, 2013
New College President
-What I hear most about the present guy is that he’s beloved.
-Well now isn’t that just Apple Pie!
-Your nephew as a college president? I don’t know...
-Hey! The only qualification seems to be a doctorate. He got that, but I’ll be damned if I can tell you how. Though he’s not as dumb as a bag of hammers, he’s not much smarter.
-I hope he can act the part then.
-Beautifully! What he really brings is fundraising. Terrific at it. That’s the main job anyway. The scholar bit is wayyyy back!
-It just remains, then, easing the old guy out.
-He’ll go. For one thing he got one of those old fashioned pension things.
-Hasn’t been 401-K’od?
-Nope. Evaded that massive screwing. Therefore he can golf content in Boca or wherever.
-Most good pensions demolished courtesy of your legislature.
-MY legislature? Hyperbole! Well...does sound bad, but I guess it’s accurate enough.
-What I hear most about the present guy is that he’s beloved.
-Well now isn’t that just Apple Pie!
-Your nephew as a college president? I don’t know...
-Hey! The only qualification seems to be a doctorate. He got that, but I’ll be damned if I can tell you how. Though he’s not as dumb as a bag of hammers, he’s not much smarter.
-I hope he can act the part then.
-Beautifully! What he really brings is fundraising. Terrific at it. That’s the main job anyway. The scholar bit is wayyyy back!
-It just remains, then, easing the old guy out.
-He’ll go. For one thing he got one of those old fashioned pension things.
-Hasn’t been 401-K’od?
-Nope. Evaded that massive screwing. Therefore he can golf content in Boca or wherever.
-Most good pensions demolished courtesy of your legislature.
-MY legislature? Hyperbole! Well...does sound bad, but I guess it’s accurate enough.
Labels: 401-K, college, dedicated pension, education, Nepotism, pension, politics
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Which of these is NOT a vegetable?
a) Broccoli
b) Kale
c) Interesting
Both Nop and Ripper picked c. Nop because
he thought it was a trick question.
Rip because it was a stupid answer and the
program and teachers were beyond stupid.
One of the objects seemed to be that students
helped each other. Fulfilled in a way with Rip
fleshing out Nop's machine pistol fantasy
for him, directed at the most caustic instructor.
They played the way children do. “I must sneak in
and he’s at the board, and I order him to turn
around.”
“Nah, you must just wait there until he senses your
intellectual presence, and turns around.”
“You promised stop teasing me!”
The question in question crossed the desk of
Sen Crons, who then deemed the program
worthy of his Golden Pickle Award.
But when Fruitful Steps became Ever Glowing Dawn
with privatization, he backed off–-brother-in-law
now heading it up.
He phoned him. "Word to the wise," he began.
a) Broccoli
b) Kale
c) Interesting
Both Nop and Ripper picked c. Nop because
he thought it was a trick question.
Rip because it was a stupid answer and the
program and teachers were beyond stupid.
One of the objects seemed to be that students
helped each other. Fulfilled in a way with Rip
fleshing out Nop's machine pistol fantasy
for him, directed at the most caustic instructor.
They played the way children do. “I must sneak in
and he’s at the board, and I order him to turn
around.”
“Nah, you must just wait there until he senses your
intellectual presence, and turns around.”
“You promised stop teasing me!”
The question in question crossed the desk of
Sen Crons, who then deemed the program
worthy of his Golden Pickle Award.
But when Fruitful Steps became Ever Glowing Dawn
with privatization, he backed off–-brother-in-law
now heading it up.
He phoned him. "Word to the wise," he began.
Labels: education, government program, privatization
Monday, April 23, 2012
The Immense Political
pressure to shove right
wingers onto university
faculties resulted in their
tireless rants at meetings.
Therefore, by internet vote,
all speaking was forbidden.
Genius or schlub, didn‘t matter.
Instead the professors sat in
the expansive auditorium
and texted each other, all
shown on gigantic monitors.
The traditionalists kvetched
that this form prevented their
usual woolgathering, but they
were somewhat mollified by
being allowed two tablets each,
one for footnotes.
Labels: education, professor, Right Wing
Friday, March 16, 2012
Short History of Low Tutelage
In the Middle Ages, monks
penned instruction re female
behavior. Nowadays it's vile
Southern Legislators taking up
this latest White Man's Burden.
Labels: Abortion, education, South, women
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Right Education Philosophy
-We want to destroy public education because it's a failure!
-Stick with that! But it's a mixed bag. Handsome success
in communities with some money.
-But the others?
-Producing sordid little units. That's where we take over.
Because that’s where the humongous profits are!
-From poor districts?
-Mais oui! Hire idealistic kids from college, pay peanuts,
give them a bushwah lesson structure purporting to spit forth
sharp little citizens...
-But really manufacturing the same sordid little units.
-You can't shine shit.
-Then why bother?
-Because privatization is the golden goose everywhere.
Education is by light years the very plumpest one!
My mouth waters!
-I...still worry about the future.
-Nonsense! You make money you buy the future!
What could be simpler?
-We want to destroy public education because it's a failure!
-Stick with that! But it's a mixed bag. Handsome success
in communities with some money.
-But the others?
-Producing sordid little units. That's where we take over.
Because that’s where the humongous profits are!
-From poor districts?
-Mais oui! Hire idealistic kids from college, pay peanuts,
give them a bushwah lesson structure purporting to spit forth
sharp little citizens...
-But really manufacturing the same sordid little units.
-You can't shine shit.
-Then why bother?
-Because privatization is the golden goose everywhere.
Education is by light years the very plumpest one!
My mouth waters!
-I...still worry about the future.
-Nonsense! You make money you buy the future!
What could be simpler?
Labels: ; Republican, education, privatization, public education, Right
Thursday, June 02, 2011
Reenacting
FATHER
Kids wanted to know should they soap Jew or Jude on the windows? Told them I like Jude for historical resonance.
FRIEND
Won’t the merchants be mad? Especially the nons?
FATHER
Just after we booze-out here, you and I stagger downtown
and wash the windows by dawn’s early light.
FRIEND
I knew was catch for that terrific steak.
FATHER
Catch? Educating youngsters is hardly that!
FRIEND
Oh well, cleaning up after youth can be a moral imperative.
FATHER
Until they can do it for themselves. Jeremy won’t be inclined, methinks. He says Hitler had the right idea.
FRIEND
My God! You can’t let him persist in that!
FATHER
Not sure.
FATHER
Kids wanted to know should they soap Jew or Jude on the windows? Told them I like Jude for historical resonance.
FRIEND
Won’t the merchants be mad? Especially the nons?
FATHER
Just after we booze-out here, you and I stagger downtown
and wash the windows by dawn’s early light.
FRIEND
I knew was catch for that terrific steak.
FATHER
Catch? Educating youngsters is hardly that!
FRIEND
Oh well, cleaning up after youth can be a moral imperative.
FATHER
Until they can do it for themselves. Jeremy won’t be inclined, methinks. He says Hitler had the right idea.
FRIEND
My God! You can’t let him persist in that!
FATHER
Not sure.
Labels: antisemitism, education, Jew, Jude, reenactment
Monday, March 21, 2011
Manufacturing Consent Among Robots
Most students cowed
by decreed testing
of the repetitive
steps best scholars all
but forget in getting on
to the good stuff.
But a few incipient wits
will manage to conclude
the majority of adults
are goddamn fools.
So tyrannical flatulence
is never entirely wasted.
Most students cowed
by decreed testing
of the repetitive
steps best scholars all
but forget in getting on
to the good stuff.
But a few incipient wits
will manage to conclude
the majority of adults
are goddamn fools.
So tyrannical flatulence
is never entirely wasted.
Labels: education, educational testing
