Monday, February 29, 2016
South and Portions of West
-Hey! Gulf has gotten impossibly wide. And I’m sick of hearing their cretinous drivel through the mouths of Republican hypocrites!
-Let them secede? Form their own Hee-Haw Nation?
-Encourage it!
-Will they have The Bomb?
-Haven’t thought of that.
-Open Carry Law for small atomic weapons?
-Really? Stow the hyperbole!
-I go a little crazy.
-I get the idea though: Best hold them
obnoxiously close.
-What a thought!
Labels: Bomb, open carry, red state, Republican, secede, Secession
Thursday, April 09, 2015
Advice in a Red State
-Where am I going wrong as the conservative
governor of a conservative state?
-The ideas are pure in the abstract. Put them
into force and they’re beyond ridiculous!
-Thus the whole world gets a horselaugh?
-‘fraid so.
-If you live for The Ideal, the naysayers tear you down!
-Somebody around here doing that former?
-Okay, okay! Sarcasm noted. I’m still a politician.
-Then start acting like one! Not John Galt
inhaling his pissy pants!
Labels: abstract, Conservative, ideals, John Galt, piss, pure, red state
Thursday, April 03, 2014
Rigging
-They stole the exam the department uses to throw weaksters out.
Then keyed the answers in patterns of six. So, start on six and
answers up to thirty-six would be a,b,c,d,e,f in sequence.
Thus Question Six fill in a, Seven, b, Eight c, and so on.
Then, skip five and start again on forty-two etc.
-In the skipped questions, you're on your own?
-Exactly.
-But it's still too fishy.
-Yeah, so they scattered wild cards.
-So, our heroes would get those wrong?
-Most likely. The idea is to pass, 70 or above. It was a bitchin
difficult test.
-All the suspect group passed, save our favorite senator?
-At first. But they ran the whole batch through the machine twice
to verify, and lo and behold, he got 70.
-On the nose!
-Took some doing. Couple of erasures, etc, in the confusion.
-Oh well, we all cheated in some manner in school. But it pretty
much ends there for a lot of folks.
-Not our favorite senator. A virtuoso!
-Not senator for much longer, anyway. That brokers consortium
scandal with all those foreign banks? He's toast!
-Nope. Aide confessed and said he was out of the loop. Our hero's
tearful apology already in the can. Along with promise to give any
proceeds he unconsciously derived to boy’s and girl's clubs, most
in black neighbrohoods.
-And him with a closet of Christian Awards!
-Peculiar you should choose that enclosure.
-No! You mean he...?
-Hunting and fishing trips with Honey-Boy!
-And his wife? Does she...?
-Busy with her own Bum of the Month.
-Jesus!
-Welcome to America!
-Uh uh! Just the Red State version. Besides, how come so many
want to come here?
-Their own country even more corrupt? Well...used to be.
Labels: America, bribery, corruption, personal life, red state, rigged exam, senator
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Secessionists have petitioned
the Executive
for exit. Of
scratch-ass Red
States, there-
fore Snow White
in alleged mind,
though boobus
americanus to
most. (To be fair,
liberal succession
advocates exist.
They're of course
for the best stuff:
Justice.)
Back on subject,
Racist Republicans
can’t afford this rout
of their Clown Car
so careening.
As a kid at the circus,
New Haven Arena, an
actual tiny little
clown car entering
the spotlight, thence
disgorging to my delight
what seemed
an endless stream
of motley knockabouts.
To America come!
we implore all
huddled masses
not named Juan or Hasan.
You’ll have opportunity
and never have to
grow up.
the Executive
for exit. Of
scratch-ass Red
States, there-
fore Snow White
in alleged mind,
though boobus
americanus to
most. (To be fair,
liberal succession
advocates exist.
They're of course
for the best stuff:
Justice.)
Back on subject,
Racist Republicans
can’t afford this rout
of their Clown Car
so careening.
As a kid at the circus,
New Haven Arena, an
actual tiny little
clown car entering
the spotlight, thence
disgorging to my delight
what seemed
an endless stream
of motley knockabouts.
To America come!
we implore all
huddled masses
not named Juan or Hasan.
You’ll have opportunity
and never have to
grow up.
Labels: clown car, immigration, red state, Republican, Secession, Secessionists
Monday, August 20, 2012
Two flee the catty Arts
for farming, real, dirt, not
Gentleman. Traverse mud-
dy fields for planting, bosky
dells for mushrooms. They
advance in this rough trade
when one, alas, passes.
Media dwells on former career and
mentions "long-time companion"--
no tough deal in the blue states. In
reds, a fact imagined like mosques.
Labels: arts, blue state, farming, red state, sexuality
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
All This Red-State, Blue-State Masks
Even in South Carolina, liberals
agitate for a fresh dawn over
the scarlet swamp. And in bluest
northern cities, insanely Free-
Market Libertarians crawl
the gouging bodegas. They
sanction such damage.
Theoretically.
Even in South Carolina, liberals
agitate for a fresh dawn over
the scarlet swamp. And in bluest
northern cities, insanely Free-
Market Libertarians crawl
the gouging bodegas. They
sanction such damage.
Theoretically.
Labels: blue state, Free Market, Libertarian, red state
