Friday, March 15, 2013
Gaul Divided Into Three Parts
United, though, in Banking,
with bonuses shoved up front.
As everything else waits,
and especially you
can go fuck yourself.
Labels: bankers, bonuses, John Q, screwing John Q, thieves
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Mega-Maximum Screwing of John Q -- a kind of Psychodrama
Cast
John Q -- The Patsy
Wall Street -- The Criminal
Government -- The Enabler
Setting
Any Disgusting Place
...
Background Music, Kazoo, Sounds a Little Goofus to Me
JOHN Q (Entering, skinny and harried)
Something brutal has barged up my rectum!
Cut music
Lights come up to reveal two enormously bloated, florid twins.
WALL STREET
Stop whining!
GOVERNMENT
(To Wall Street) I'll second that! And am I gonna show you
a few new tricks! For one thing, give you his money in order
for both of us to fuck him blind! Well, blinder.
JOHN Q
I can't see!
GOVERNMENT
That’s the idea.
WALL STREET
This is actually hilarious!
GOVERNMENT
Be careful! There's moral hazard in laughing at the lower orders.
JOHN Q
Can’t anyone help?
WALL STREET
Always with his hand out!
GOVERNMENT (to John Q)
Hey! It’s a democracy. Nobody preventing you from forming
a constituency with all the other losers!
WALL STREET
And Man do we love losers!
GOVERNMENT
Well, anyhow, after all the falderal and bailouts, o wondrous Money God, have you learned anything?
WALL STREET
Next time, steal more.
Music up full. Stars and Stripes Forever
Cast
John Q -- The Patsy
Wall Street -- The Criminal
Government -- The Enabler
Setting
Any Disgusting Place
...
Background Music, Kazoo, Sounds a Little Goofus to Me
JOHN Q (Entering, skinny and harried)
Something brutal has barged up my rectum!
Cut music
Lights come up to reveal two enormously bloated, florid twins.
WALL STREET
Stop whining!
GOVERNMENT
(To Wall Street) I'll second that! And am I gonna show you
a few new tricks! For one thing, give you his money in order
for both of us to fuck him blind! Well, blinder.
JOHN Q
I can't see!
GOVERNMENT
That’s the idea.
WALL STREET
This is actually hilarious!
GOVERNMENT
Be careful! There's moral hazard in laughing at the lower orders.
JOHN Q
Can’t anyone help?
WALL STREET
Always with his hand out!
GOVERNMENT (to John Q)
Hey! It’s a democracy. Nobody preventing you from forming
a constituency with all the other losers!
WALL STREET
And Man do we love losers!
GOVERNMENT
Well, anyhow, after all the falderal and bailouts, o wondrous Money God, have you learned anything?
WALL STREET
Next time, steal more.
Music up full. Stars and Stripes Forever
Labels: bailout, screwing John Q, Wall Street Thieves
Thursday, September 18, 2008
The Procession
-I heard you before you got here. We take the profits, you
get the losses.
-Our mantra. We have bankers, brokers, insurance dudes. And your
government, John Q, in its infinite wisdom and in loving memory of
our generous bribes, has bailed us all out.
-And now you're celebrating. In togas, yet. Wrong look
for fat, pink shoulders. Except the women swarming around.
They sure look wild. Some frenzy!
-They're a part of a serious, religious, ritual. Our Dionysian
explosion of gratefulness. Prodigious Screwing comes later.
All for the right reasons.
-And the wine, phew! Everywhere. Perhaps you could spare...?
-Not a chance! Not your end of things. We don't flick
any fuckin flagons to finks.
-No harm in asking.
-Ah that’s where you’re wrong. Great harm! Know your place!
-Wow! Three guys carrying an immense dick!
-Vulgarity entirely inappropriate! It is a sacramental object!
-What will you do with it?
-Stick around.
Labels: bailout, dionysian, rewarding criminals, screwing John Q
