Thursday, March 12, 2015
The Assignment
-I’d like a committee full of prestige, and with absolutely
no work.
-Sorry, they go to the boyscouts and girlscouts, to give
ridiculously off-topic speeches for the dolts back home.
-Well, you gotta do something with ideologues, I suppose.
-Defuses ‘em and gets ‘em outa the way!
-How about International Bushwah, then? I can babble on
and on without a thought.
-I got you on Finance.
-Mass Confusion!
-Way the bankers designed it while stealing us blind!
We need hardheads like you to cut through the bullshit!
-Oy! Talk about thankless! One guy got lost in that committee
around 1960 and hasn’t been heard from since.
-Never mind all that! This is the People’s House doing the
People’s Business!
-Don’t remind me!
-You wanna lazy berth, run for Senate.
-Soon as the Kabuki Masks finished.
Labels: bankers, bullshit, Committee Assignment, Congressional Committee, finance, Kabuki, People's House, politics
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
A Primer of Legal Scholarship
The Start
-Poor John Q Schnook is finally getting health insurance, and
Republican judges are lopping parts off as “unconstitutional.”
-Where are they when bankers, brokers, hedge fund honchos,
and corporate CEOs, plus their boards, are screwing us blind?
Abuse of the law! All round!
-More of your understatement. Is it the crookedness, subterfuge,
bribery, or robbery gets you down?
-It's the masquerade!
-Then the laws should be written more explicitly. Let me try.
“The purpose of this measure is to enable bankers, brokers,
hedge fund honchos, and corporate CEOs, plus their boards,
to screw everybody else blind.”
-That's a start.
Labels: bankers, business chicanery, Constitutional, corporate boards, Hedge Fund, Law, phrasing of laws, Republican Judge
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
West By God Virginia
State Capital
-The one got highschool education, and she does the talking.
-I can just imagine.
-Gotta helluva temper on her too.
-You can reason ’bout a minute or so with those people.
-Well they’re getting ready to picket the legislature, some
in homespun.
-No shit! Real hillbillies?
-Won’t look good for us.
-Well, what’s their complaint?
-Some halfass hunting club built an equally halfass dam.
When it gives way–-and it will–-well that’s a narrow hollow.
Will drown some hillbillies.
-No great loss. A few missing links.
-It’ll cost us on the TV.
-All right! What a pain in the ass! Anyway, go up there with
the state engineer. He’ll give em a plan for a dam that works.
One or two bankers in that club for sure. They can find the money.
-Can we help?
-Whattayuh think? Fuckin Socialism?
-I just thought must be some money under some act or other.
-Let’s pay half. Reward the Republicans in the Hunting Club.
-Which is all of 'em.
-It’s a Perfect World then.
Labels: "democracy, bankers, hillbilly, hunting, Legislature, picketing, Republican, West Virginia
Friday, March 15, 2013
Gaul Divided Into Three Parts
United, though, in Banking,
with bonuses shoved up front.
As everything else waits,
and especially you
can go fuck yourself.
Labels: bankers, bonuses, John Q, screwing John Q, thieves
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Bankers plunge
with house money
insured by People.
They lose rawly,
then beg for help.
Too big to fail, al-
lows rueful Uncle.
So, up, brushing knees
to snap ecstatically in-
to macho vaudeville
boast of fucking
everyone.
Labels: bailout, bankers, FDIC
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Post
Bankers catapulted
through their own
caution lights, laughing at
the manual they wrote.
Well, the frenzy, if
not the bankers,
arrested.
In American Style, TV makes
over sows' noses to posies as
the empty preach substance.
Buy a turnip from a farmer’s dirt,
you can thump the fuckin thing!
Labels: bank bailout, bankers, banks, cable TV, makeover shows
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Most Great Fortunes Based on Great Robberies*
But there’s the actual and the metaphor.
Consider the full frontal holdup
at a bank. Grim threats with guns
terrorize associates and customers,
latter staying down on the floor
as per spat instructions.
How gauche all that compared to
the Board stamping the latest
gouges and fashion-
ing the half lies
to cover them,
and themselves.
*freely translated from Balzac
Labels: bank robbery, bankers, banking, robbery
Friday, April 09, 2010
Exotic Loan Products
are much discoursed in
this horrendous aftermath.
Exotic. What soft connotations
compared to Greasy Thievery.
Keeping the same gauzy scrims
bewitching regulators and
the rawly perpetual sucker
making so so
much possible,
good ole John Q.
As a specimen, how
I tire of taking bows
for the amusement
of betters!
Labels: bankers, exotic loan products
Friday, March 05, 2010
“Bankers Own The Senate”*
A golden investment
mid the Bundles
For Bozos
they dealt suckers.
*attributed to senator
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Legerdemain
From a smock full of farts,
the banker derives
diarrhea. And more he
insanely laughs at us,
more we must hedge
him from bottom lines of his
harebrained, insidious
and murderous folly. Then
finds it, he, inside his base
interest to share our largesse
with high solonic enablers.
Labels: bank bailout, bankers, Congress
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Two Very Humongous Bankers
-More banks failing!
-Penny-ante!
-But we're too big to fail! I love it.
-And Uncle still keeps carrying the cash bags in.
-Does that make him a bag man?
-Shhh! No Mafia hints. Our PR has already taken
huge hits! Little people think us thieves.
Even some of our heavy friends concur.
-We merely speculated in risky financial instruments.
What else is new?
-Nothing. But we just found us one hell of a depositor!
-As good Republicans, we're against it all! In theory.
-But keep it coming!
-No moral hazard. Worst we can do is lose Uncle’s money.
-Let’s fuck him first. That’s his moral hazard.
-More banks failing!
-Penny-ante!
-But we're too big to fail! I love it.
-And Uncle still keeps carrying the cash bags in.
-Does that make him a bag man?
-Shhh! No Mafia hints. Our PR has already taken
huge hits! Little people think us thieves.
Even some of our heavy friends concur.
-We merely speculated in risky financial instruments.
What else is new?
-Nothing. But we just found us one hell of a depositor!
-As good Republicans, we're against it all! In theory.
-But keep it coming!
-No moral hazard. Worst we can do is lose Uncle’s money.
-Let’s fuck him first. That’s his moral hazard.
Labels: bankers
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Banker and Assistant, Encore
BANKER
I’ve done it! Changed my registration to Democrat!
ASSISTANT
Chief! What a shock!
BANKER
Going with the power! GOP is now the party of bible thumpers and
raging halfwits. A southern party can’t win. Period. There are some
reform currents, but it won’t really kick in until 2020, if ever. I’ll be
retired, and you’ll be the Great Enchilada. Maybe.
ASSISTANT
Whatever I can do! I’ll switch if you want, uh...basic philosophy
of Republicans still favors our gang, though, don’t you think?
Certainly not trying to undermine your heartfelt decision.
BANKER
Too many problems! I’d rather work with the Dems. They’re on message.
I don’t agree with much of it, but target is clear to me when I pick
up the phone. And the target is in the 21st century!
ASSISTANT
Should I switch then?
BANKER
No! Definitely not. You’re still really a true believer and that’s good!
I’d like you to be even more Republican. Get into meetings, talk to
cornpone legislators.
ASSISTANT
What for?
BANKER
Always important to know what the hillbillies are up to. Out of power and laughable, but still dangerous.
BANKER
I’ve done it! Changed my registration to Democrat!
ASSISTANT
Chief! What a shock!
BANKER
Going with the power! GOP is now the party of bible thumpers and
raging halfwits. A southern party can’t win. Period. There are some
reform currents, but it won’t really kick in until 2020, if ever. I’ll be
retired, and you’ll be the Great Enchilada. Maybe.
ASSISTANT
Whatever I can do! I’ll switch if you want, uh...basic philosophy
of Republicans still favors our gang, though, don’t you think?
Certainly not trying to undermine your heartfelt decision.
BANKER
Too many problems! I’d rather work with the Dems. They’re on message.
I don’t agree with much of it, but target is clear to me when I pick
up the phone. And the target is in the 21st century!
ASSISTANT
Should I switch then?
BANKER
No! Definitely not. You’re still really a true believer and that’s good!
I’d like you to be even more Republican. Get into meetings, talk to
cornpone legislators.
ASSISTANT
What for?
BANKER
Always important to know what the hillbillies are up to. Out of power and laughable, but still dangerous.
Labels: bankers
Friday, May 22, 2009
The Banker
-Hey! The Big Man himself! To what do I owe...?
-Flu. I’m filling in. Good loan, good rate. Exceptional rate, really.
Wouldn’t get that from me!
-I better sign fast then! Jesus! Look at all the tiny print. I’m being
totally screwed in there? Is that it?
-Not from this quarter. If I’m gonna fuck you, it’ll be in large block type.
-Hey! The Big Man himself! To what do I owe...?
-Flu. I’m filling in. Good loan, good rate. Exceptional rate, really.
Wouldn’t get that from me!
-I better sign fast then! Jesus! Look at all the tiny print. I’m being
totally screwed in there? Is that it?
-Not from this quarter. If I’m gonna fuck you, it’ll be in large block type.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Reaction
-I'm being told that people with pitchforks'll be coming
for us.
-Metaphor for the pissed, disorganized, and impotent.
-Nonetheless, I'm changing the bonus setup. Six-Month
Jumbo CD appears in your account.
-Lousy rates now.
-Special fifteen-percent return this one time.
-That's decent. But I'll still hafta move the boat
purchase six months ahead. Just a modest one
for Boca. Few hundred thou.
-Borrow from us.
-Don’t wish to be brutalized.
-What price loyalty?
-What was that word? Last time I looked
we were both bankers.
-I'm being told that people with pitchforks'll be coming
for us.
-Metaphor for the pissed, disorganized, and impotent.
-Nonetheless, I'm changing the bonus setup. Six-Month
Jumbo CD appears in your account.
-Lousy rates now.
-Special fifteen-percent return this one time.
-That's decent. But I'll still hafta move the boat
purchase six months ahead. Just a modest one
for Boca. Few hundred thou.
-Borrow from us.
-Don’t wish to be brutalized.
-What price loyalty?
-What was that word? Last time I looked
we were both bankers.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Banking Melodrama
-They're trying to find out where the money went
that Santa Pauls give us.
-Let 'em spin on this finger, like whatchallit,
Floating Dervishes.
-That ain't what they're called.
-Yeah, well we don't know much but we know one thing.
-How to fuck John Q?
-Bingo!
-They're trying to find out where the money went
that Santa Pauls give us.
-Let 'em spin on this finger, like whatchallit,
Floating Dervishes.
-That ain't what they're called.
-Yeah, well we don't know much but we know one thing.
-How to fuck John Q?
-Bingo!
Labels: bankers
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Drinks At The Club–2 Bankers
-Government buying toxic mortgages, investing in banks.
-Here's to Socialism!
-To sarcasm, more like. Look! ’ll turn back from public to
private when the ship gets righted.
-I hope not! That's just prose. This is pure poetry!
-Too ironic for that.
-I’ll grant that, too. Frosting on the cake. John Q getting fucked again,
even after the dizzy mortgages we slicked him with.
-Oh well! What’s he there for? I mean, why candy it over?
-The tragedy of the consumer...keeping with our literary theme.
-If tragedy can be applied to such mental midgets.
-Bottoms up! The mental midgets are paying for the drinks.
-Poetic Justice! I’ll take the last lit-ree word. How very silly is
Literature anyway!
-Government buying toxic mortgages, investing in banks.
-Here's to Socialism!
-To sarcasm, more like. Look! ’ll turn back from public to
private when the ship gets righted.
-I hope not! That's just prose. This is pure poetry!
-Too ironic for that.
-I’ll grant that, too. Frosting on the cake. John Q getting fucked again,
even after the dizzy mortgages we slicked him with.
-Oh well! What’s he there for? I mean, why candy it over?
-The tragedy of the consumer...keeping with our literary theme.
-If tragedy can be applied to such mental midgets.
-Bottoms up! The mental midgets are paying for the drinks.
-Poetic Justice! I’ll take the last lit-ree word. How very silly is
Literature anyway!
Labels: bailout, bankers, fucking John Q
