Thursday, May 05, 2022
new as always
Chucksy vents that
nobody does what
the fuck they
promise when. Once
he knows it
he nods
to further blab.
Then off.
When he wakes
they're jibber-
jabbering still.
“...and do you know
where you ARE?”
Not Heaven.
Wouldn’t stink so!
Labels: age, care, complaint, patient, senior citizen
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
Senior Practice
“Mr Arch won’t make it.”
“Better have a good excuse!”
“Deceased.”
“That’s reasonable. I’ll miss him.
He had a funny-sarcastic way.”
“Brick says put Ruth D'Onofrio in
his appointment. She’s at the Senior
Center for Volleyball, so her phone's off,
but keep trying.”
Unsaid that Brick always invited the
practice to his office after appointments
when anyone died. Our own little Memorial.
Then, the fifth of Wild Turkey produced
from a drawer, along with cheese and
crackers, and Pepperidge Farm Cookies.
This time, Lorton the X-Ray guy told all
that the secret of long life is constantly
reinventing yourself. “I’m thinking of
becoming a woman this next time!”
“Don’t!” warned Rhonda, “I’m one and it’s no bargain!”
She had come from an appointment at the grammar school. “The children beat up the bully! My little Rhonda leading the charge!”
“So? Trouble?” inquired Mr Chubby.
“I’m so proud!”
Ruth D'Onofrio flew in as if cued. “God rest his soul!”
Mr Chubby wondered “Your phone was off.”
“Got your message too late, but I had heard about the poor guy through the grapevine. Dr Judge from three offices down.”
“What’s he doing with the seniors? In his fifties.”
“Born old!”
They nodded. And drank.
Brick and she talked informally. No charge…not really an appointment.
Labels: doctor, office staff, senior citizen, senior practice
Monday, August 15, 2016
A, B, C, D
D-Day!
ANDY AND HIS FRIEND, ONCE-CHUBBY
A: The Government gives it some
patriotic panache. D-Day. But it's
only the day each senior decides
on his or her future.
OC: A, B, etc?
A: It'll help if I knew what the
categories meant!
OC: Get out then! Circulate! Listen!
Pretend to be interested in the crap
architecture or whatever.
A: I'll do that to fill the time, but
it's a crapshoot anyway. When they text
me and give me an hour, I'll just choose one.
OC: Knowing you, you'd like to stay right here!
A: You got that right!
OC: Well, four to one odds. Great! Show me
other situations in this incompetent vale
of tears where you get such good odds.
A: Don't paint me lucky. That's a mistake!
OC: Whatever.
A: At any rate, I’ll text back, or tell the sexy
Carolinia, the cyber voice.
OC: Who’ll say “I love your choice, Andy!
B is YOU.”
A: Somewhat mechanically, but what the hell!
OC: I heard of a guy they sent to an All-Women Place!
A: Good Christ! How did he ever...?
OC: Strangely, worked out! He didn’t like to talk anyway.
Labels: cyber, D Day, decision, government program, senior citizen, senor, women
Monday, January 04, 2016
Ancient Threat
Ralph handled the transition
from engineering semi-loner
to Associate Store Manager
quite well.
He did have someWHAT of a
gregarious bent, so saying
Welcome to Walgreens!
or Did you find everything?
took small effort.
Ordering, though, knottier,
thus Chucksy sent from
Satellite Beach to check
his attempt for the weekly sale.
-Cashews with sea salt? Three
cases. About right. Got my
mouth set for 'em!
Prunes, Sunkist, Minis, three
cases also? Uh uh! Quadruple that!
-Wow!
-This is Florida! Wall to wall
old people!
-I've noticed.
-If they can't shit, they kill!
Labels: constipation, digestion, Florida, senior citizen, Walgreens
