Thursday, December 20, 2018
The Professional
My client now is Jack.
Runs egg co-op
EGGSACTITUDE!
Full of old hippie co-op ideas and ideals!
His kids hope to never see another egg!
Wife wants Talk indicating other
directions, professions, Life-Partners
less gung ho etc.
Sometimes he edges towards
solutions with her, sometimes
presenting even worst scenarios.
I counsel him on practicalities. Why not?
Mostly, though, I’m paid to worry.
We meet weekly and go over the
most raging upsets.
Client quite relieved.
“I can breathe knowing you got my
neurotic back!”
Jack not without wit for a serious fellow.
Jack not without wit for a serious fellow.
Labels: earnestness, hippy, marriage, profession, relationships, worry
Friday, March 09, 2018
Topics
His three exes are meeting!
He confides to fellow representative, Steph,
because she’s motherly: “I had no idea they
even knew each other.”
On the Big Day, she laughs “Your ears
burning yet?”
What he felt he knew: where each would
get the tourist trolley to THE MADDING
CROWD…books and belly at the end.
And that each would order a Latte Bathsheba.
But he missed the Prune Danish and subsequent
half hour banter on same.
Actually it was all like one of those sports shows
where the topics are listed and they never get
to yours.
In the two hours, he was not even mentioned!
The women liked each other, and met again.
His name wasn’t forbidden or anything.
Just never rose to top of list.
He could vaguely feel the neglect and
wondered to Roger.
Who ignored such vagueness to blurt
“I’m declaring my love to Laurel, the
new woman in the office!”
“Last year it was Brad!”
“A gay year!”
“Will you alternate from here on?”
“Delay putting that in your Master Plan
For the Universe!”
“I control nothing! In fact, I’m haunted by
what women are saying…or not saying!”
“Same thing”
Labels: anxiety, control, ex, personality, women, worry
Friday, January 27, 2017
The Necessary Combination
The old worries no longer sufficed.
Though they drove Kohs beyond distraction...nonetheless,
a lack there, a stale familiarity here, a boredom...
So he applied to the Bureau of New Worries.
There, in collective wisdom, he became Chicken Littled.
Not exactly The Sky is Falling Down!...but several keening
anxieties of smaller types.
“I've never seen you so happy!” wife gushed in their bedroom
two weeks later while packing her stuff.
“Be careful of those luggage locks. They can pinch! Start infection.
Man in Elmira DIED.”
She thanked him for his concern, and left forever. One less worry.
Labels: anxiety, caution, Chicken Little, over-caution, Sky falling down, worry
Thursday, May 26, 2016
The Man Who Worried About Everything
stumbles and falls at Rush and Hepplewhite,
bumping his head on a marble stone Gentry
used for climbing into coaches during The
Gilded Age.
He only worries about one thing now:
his headache!
Which gradually subsides, as his fretful
steadies return. Like friends from out
a cutting blizzard.
They’re home! Where he can worry about them.
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Worrying
-How are things in flyover country?
-Every day the same.
-What a blessing!
-More excruciating chaos than usual
in the Power Hub?
-In jagged spades!
-How much of your day is spent worrying?
-What part isn't?
-That's where my new service comes in.
And more time and space here to pursue it.
-Professional Worrier?
-No charge at first. A trial.
-You might wanna keep that up. Those who
work for nothing can set their own terms.
-Uh huh? Well, moving slowly along, must be
a client driving you bananas?
-He has invaded my dreams, even. Toxic Doozy!
-Let me worry about him!
-I'd need to give you some facts.
-Fewer the better. My worry will thrust better.
-And, should I just snap into passive mode.
Or keep up the frustrating one of action?
-Yes.
-Which?
-Makes no difference. You're taking a vacation
from worry!
-(aside) Pass me my straw hat and a gin and tonic, Dorine!
-Don't fall asleep in the sun!
...
-You can stop. Client threw up his arms and
walked out!
-That's a solution. I think I helped.
-Whatever. I'm free!
-But...a contract, no? He has breached?
-I'm letting it slide.
-We'd sue, even in this slow place.
-You can't sue everybody! Well, you can,
but that'd shove out too many aspects
of the usual worry, setting up new ones.
-Leave them to me!
Labels: business pressure, flyover, stress, tension, worry, worrying
Friday, November 27, 2015
The Worry of Worry
When Cindy proposed a bike trip
through Southern Indiana, Rentz
promised to think about it.
He did. Initially. Then only of the
possible dangers. From here he
branched out to local and national
and international dangers.
In short, he worried.
When she finally called, he told her
to get lost--somewhat more politely
than that.
He couldn't afford risk-takers in his life.
Which was hostile and worrisome enough.
He became Worry. In fact, if there were
a Mount Olympus in Muncie, he'd be God
of Worry.
Friends peeled away, and he got fired for
warning all his fellow employees by
preaching the hedges against disaster
learned from talk radio, including gold
and dried food.
He worries 24-7 as best he can. Though
afraid to go to sleep, he does drop off
to nightmares.
Armageddon will begin in Muncie, his
website promises.
Readers chime in, offering their own towns.
And lives worse.
Labels: Armageddon, bike, danger, Indiana, Muncie, Olympus, pathology, risk-taker, Talk Radio, worry
Saturday, March 03, 2012
Worried Sick
many times.
Waste! confide
some who slip
through 25,
30, retire
to Florida,
stacking bathroom
closet with laxatives.
Labels: retirement, worry
Friday, September 16, 2011
Process
Anxiety floats,
Worry targets. Both
waste, though
defining in part.
Reaper notes
but dallies
until "Just
enough of all
of that!"
Labels: anxiety, Grim Reaper, worry
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Maladies
curbed with meds,
I nonetheless
think much, worry.
Determine to cheer
a team, and trap
the natural
with a camera.
curbed with meds,
I nonetheless
think much, worry.
Determine to cheer
a team, and trap
the natural
with a camera.
