Friday, February 29, 2008
Political Sins
OPERATOR 1
What y’got on him?
OPERATOR 2
Nothing. Asexual. Cares not for either.
OPERATOR 1
Thus both?
OPERATOR 2
Not that we can find out.
OPERATOR 1
Defying our sovereign laws? Fixing this or that? On the take?...beyond
normal bounds.
OPERATOR 2
Again a blank.
OPERATOR 1
I’m drowning here!
OPERATOR 2
Pulled...pigtail, third grade.
OPERATOR 1
We can use that.
OPERATOR 2
You’re kidding!
OPERATOR 1
Pattern.
OPERATOR 1
What y’got on him?
OPERATOR 2
Nothing. Asexual. Cares not for either.
OPERATOR 1
Thus both?
OPERATOR 2
Not that we can find out.
OPERATOR 1
Defying our sovereign laws? Fixing this or that? On the take?...beyond
normal bounds.
OPERATOR 2
Again a blank.
OPERATOR 1
I’m drowning here!
OPERATOR 2
Pulled...pigtail, third grade.
OPERATOR 1
We can use that.
OPERATOR 2
You’re kidding!
OPERATOR 1
Pattern.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
The Candidate
CONSULTANT
You get it out there!
CANDIDATE
I’M not going to...!
CONSULTANT
No no no! It’s the generic you. WE’LL get it out there.
CANDIDATE
Entirely filthy!
CONSULTANT
Don’t worry. We’ll preserve your virginity.
CONSULTANT
You get it out there!
CANDIDATE
I’M not going to...!
CONSULTANT
No no no! It’s the generic you. WE’LL get it out there.
CANDIDATE
Entirely filthy!
CONSULTANT
Don’t worry. We’ll preserve your virginity.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Yr3000&Bush&Clinton Dark Angels Speak
We never went gentle
into this good night
or any other,so
go fuck yourself!
We never went gentle
into this good night
or any other,so
go fuck yourself!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Lobbying Team
-GOP gonna really get whacked this time out. All the signs...
-Yeah, too bad. We had a hell of a lot of elbow room under them.
-That’ll change.
-Not really, but keeping it is much more expensive.
-Are we equal opportunity bribers?
-Of course. But we have to yield to reality and start double-greasing the Dems,
starting, like, yesterday.
-I’m on it!
-Have you been to their club lately?
-Stop in once a week since they edged ahead in ‘06.
-Yeah, well I want you there every night! Uh, you may not know the code.
Go to the largest table and they’ll invite you for dessert. Get something nice
for yourself. Baked Alaska, whatever. Senator So and So‘ll tease that you’re trying to break him! Then just a little wave to Maurice puts everything on
our house account.
-That’s the code, is it?
-At every fancy feeding trough hereabouts.
-Wonder what they’d think in Cedar Rapids.
-Fuck Cedar Rapids. On that both parties agree.
-GOP gonna really get whacked this time out. All the signs...
-Yeah, too bad. We had a hell of a lot of elbow room under them.
-That’ll change.
-Not really, but keeping it is much more expensive.
-Are we equal opportunity bribers?
-Of course. But we have to yield to reality and start double-greasing the Dems,
starting, like, yesterday.
-I’m on it!
-Have you been to their club lately?
-Stop in once a week since they edged ahead in ‘06.
-Yeah, well I want you there every night! Uh, you may not know the code.
Go to the largest table and they’ll invite you for dessert. Get something nice
for yourself. Baked Alaska, whatever. Senator So and So‘ll tease that you’re trying to break him! Then just a little wave to Maurice puts everything on
our house account.
-That’s the code, is it?
-At every fancy feeding trough hereabouts.
-Wonder what they’d think in Cedar Rapids.
-Fuck Cedar Rapids. On that both parties agree.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Life Is But
- Iraqi police today on the Tigris River near
Samarra chased a suicide bomber in a boat.
Gently Down the Stream
The bomber was wearing a vest bomb and he
A Dream
detonated himself before the police could arrest him.'*
Merrily etc.
*McClatchy
- Iraqi police today on the Tigris River near
Samarra chased a suicide bomber in a boat.
Gently Down the Stream
The bomber was wearing a vest bomb and he
A Dream
detonated himself before the police could arrest him.'*
Merrily etc.
*McClatchy
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Work In Progress
Lust,then
dustup
w/Frau.
Penance
pruning
bushes,
painting next.
Handy con-
trition.
Lust,then
dustup
w/Frau.
Penance
pruning
bushes,
painting next.
Handy con-
trition.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Views
Our furthest way
way out beach
has always been
clothing optional,
until the county
put up joyless
signs that such
cool behavior‘s
verboten. Purists
have protested at meet-
ings, citing antecedents
natural, and legal. Their
case, unfortunately, under-
mined on scene by foot-
loose gentlemen who likely
enjoin, “Hey Lady!
Look at this one!”
Our furthest way
way out beach
has always been
clothing optional,
until the county
put up joyless
signs that such
cool behavior‘s
verboten. Purists
have protested at meet-
ings, citing antecedents
natural, and legal. Their
case, unfortunately, under-
mined on scene by foot-
loose gentlemen who likely
enjoin, “Hey Lady!
Look at this one!”
Friday, February 22, 2008
High Sex &
“improper”@
30,000+ in
private jet
should get
immunity.
Trade off:
Give back
tax cuts
screwing
rest of us.
“improper”@
30,000+ in
private jet
should get
immunity.
Trade off:
Give back
tax cuts
screwing
rest of us.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Encore
LOBBYIST
So we deliver an extra payment, one we didn’t expect to make.
ASSISTANT
That almost-vote surprised. Oh well, we all have anomalies.
LOBBYIST
Not good politicians. They stay bought.
ASSISTANT
That’s how the cynical proverb goes.
LOBBYIST
Cynical? Golden, and in every sense.
LOBBYIST
So we deliver an extra payment, one we didn’t expect to make.
ASSISTANT
That almost-vote surprised. Oh well, we all have anomalies.
LOBBYIST
Not good politicians. They stay bought.
ASSISTANT
That’s how the cynical proverb goes.
LOBBYIST
Cynical? Golden, and in every sense.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
One Facet of Republican Patriotism
-Lovely day.
-Yeah it’s nice out. I think I’ll leave it out.
-Just...not funny in your case. We can’t extract you from another mess.
-I know. What comes over me? I just have to wave it.
-You heard me!
-Like the flag.
-Lovely day.
-Yeah it’s nice out. I think I’ll leave it out.
-Just...not funny in your case. We can’t extract you from another mess.
-I know. What comes over me? I just have to wave it.
-You heard me!
-Like the flag.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Rocco knocks around South Philly. Rabid Democrat, he loves confrontation,
as he has shown previously.
Rocco & The Courageous Republican
-Yo Rocco! Still a pussy Democrat?
-How’s the war going?
-We’re winning!
-How do you define that?
-As we go along. We don’t wring our hands like you pussy Dems.
-Still running a wire to prisoner’s testicles?
-Only if we ram a live cable up his ass first.
-Why do you remind me of a fantasy of violent masturbation?
-We don’t masturbate. Line up the women and we’ll fuck ‘em all in a row.
-Sad.
-Not really. This country started electing real men in 2000.
-You stole two elections in a row.
-If we did, that‘s two feathers in our cap!
-I feel like a straight man in a horror movie.
-That’s all literary shit. It means absolutely nothing. Power comes from power!
-Uh huh. Like to continue this edifying conversation, but gotta get chocolate
chips for Mom so she can bake cookies.
-Wear your apron.
-I was thinking of borrowing yours, but pink’s all wrong for me.
as he has shown previously.
Rocco & The Courageous Republican
-Yo Rocco! Still a pussy Democrat?
-How’s the war going?
-We’re winning!
-How do you define that?
-As we go along. We don’t wring our hands like you pussy Dems.
-Still running a wire to prisoner’s testicles?
-Only if we ram a live cable up his ass first.
-Why do you remind me of a fantasy of violent masturbation?
-We don’t masturbate. Line up the women and we’ll fuck ‘em all in a row.
-Sad.
-Not really. This country started electing real men in 2000.
-You stole two elections in a row.
-If we did, that‘s two feathers in our cap!
-I feel like a straight man in a horror movie.
-That’s all literary shit. It means absolutely nothing. Power comes from power!
-Uh huh. Like to continue this edifying conversation, but gotta get chocolate
chips for Mom so she can bake cookies.
-Wear your apron.
-I was thinking of borrowing yours, but pink’s all wrong for me.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Mature Actress
Once,Broadway
ingenue. Lots
of bounce &
coy whining. @
present,pounce
on boys,too-
young parts.
Once,Broadway
ingenue. Lots
of bounce &
coy whining. @
present,pounce
on boys,too-
young parts.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
The Women
-You’re incredible! Real body double.
-I’ve duplicated her wardrobe, that is the tasteful items.
-Something formal. A reception for the Senegalese Ambassador.
-What a racket she has! Knocking around Big Sur in her jeep. Army boots and hole-y jeans.
-That’s her thing. Yours is acting her part.
-The ceremonial facets.
-Doesn’t have to stop there.
-Uh huh. Well that‘d take additional negotiation.
-You’re incredible! Real body double.
-I’ve duplicated her wardrobe, that is the tasteful items.
-Something formal. A reception for the Senegalese Ambassador.
-What a racket she has! Knocking around Big Sur in her jeep. Army boots and hole-y jeans.
-That’s her thing. Yours is acting her part.
-The ceremonial facets.
-Doesn’t have to stop there.
-Uh huh. Well that‘d take additional negotiation.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
At the Bash
The adults dance uproariously, some falling down. Laughter swells
the ballroom.
Three youngsters flee to the edges. Joel Nestor and Dilly Ornoff
of The Marmont School, joined by transfer student Bill (Ekky) Dahl.
EKKY
Explosion of assholes!
JOEL
Our parents in there.
EKKY
My huge mouth! Sorry.
DILLY
What for? Accuracy?
The adults dance uproariously, some falling down. Laughter swells
the ballroom.
Three youngsters flee to the edges. Joel Nestor and Dilly Ornoff
of The Marmont School, joined by transfer student Bill (Ekky) Dahl.
EKKY
Explosion of assholes!
JOEL
Our parents in there.
EKKY
My huge mouth! Sorry.
DILLY
What for? Accuracy?
Friday, February 15, 2008
One Facet of Republican Patriotism
-Lovely day.
-Yeah it’s nice out. I think I’ll leave it out.
-Just...not funny in your case. We can’t extract you from another mess.
-I know. What comes over me? I just have to wave it.
-You heard me!
-Like the flag.
-Lovely day.
-Yeah it’s nice out. I think I’ll leave it out.
-Just...not funny in your case. We can’t extract you from another mess.
-I know. What comes over me? I just have to wave it.
-You heard me!
-Like the flag.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
French
-I’ll take a Coke, Lover.
-Coke! More American shit! Have water.
-And I went to our little store and got German Rhine Wine and Irish Cheddar Farmhouse Cheese. Am I to hate them too?
-Yes!
-So everything French is superb because we’re French? And everything...?
(in his face now)
-No! I hate the French too! I especially hate French women. And you representing them so well, with your selfishness and hideous attempts to look younger.
I despise you! Utterly.
-Utterly?
-Beyond the last degree. A painted hulk like an abandoned boat!
-Abandoned too!
(They embrace passionately.)
-I’ll take a Coke, Lover.
-Coke! More American shit! Have water.
-And I went to our little store and got German Rhine Wine and Irish Cheddar Farmhouse Cheese. Am I to hate them too?
-Yes!
-So everything French is superb because we’re French? And everything...?
(in his face now)
-No! I hate the French too! I especially hate French women. And you representing them so well, with your selfishness and hideous attempts to look younger.
I despise you! Utterly.
-Utterly?
-Beyond the last degree. A painted hulk like an abandoned boat!
-Abandoned too!
(They embrace passionately.)
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
To the American People, December 7, 2041
Much overheated rhetoric alleges to describe The Home Surveillance Program, even to the point that couples will be “pornographically” witnessed in their bedrooms.
Rest assured that sexual organs will be pixilated to protect the morals of our monitors.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Beautiful Ohio
REPUBLICAN 1
Hillary or Obama: we have lovely packages ready for either.
REPUBLICAN 2
As nasty as last...
R1
Ain’t seen nothin’ yet!
R2
What’s strategy besides?
R1
Guessing it comes down to Ohio again.
R2
Don’t tell me we’ll steal it again! Are the Dim-ocrats really that stupid?
R1
They’ll reach transcendence!
R2
Boy! But...awful lot to put in place. Grease and software. Plus, zipped lips.
R1
Duck are on the pond.
R2
Well I hope they don’t quack.
R1
They’ll quack after. For rewards.
REPUBLICAN 1
Hillary or Obama: we have lovely packages ready for either.
REPUBLICAN 2
As nasty as last...
R1
Ain’t seen nothin’ yet!
R2
What’s strategy besides?
R1
Guessing it comes down to Ohio again.
R2
Don’t tell me we’ll steal it again! Are the Dim-ocrats really that stupid?
R1
They’ll reach transcendence!
R2
Boy! But...awful lot to put in place. Grease and software. Plus, zipped lips.
R1
Duck are on the pond.
R2
Well I hope they don’t quack.
R1
They’ll quack after. For rewards.
Monday, February 11, 2008
The Language of Banking
ASSISTANT
We foreclosed on the one you...
BANKER
That was one greatly overextended asshole.
ASST
He was upside down, owed 450 on house worth ‘bout half that in current market.
BANKER
Now WE got it. Some joy!
ASST
Not too many of ‘em. Lucked out compared to other banks.
BANKER
One’s too many.
ASST
Your...brother in law wants to take it off our hands for 175.
BANKER
Don’t let that thief get anywhere near me!
ASST
And our foreclosee desires to RENT the dump now.
BANKER
What’s market rent?
ASST
Was 1800. We’d be lucky to get 11 in this chaos.
BANKER
Tell him 2000.
ASST
Chief! That poor sonofabitch is wrung out!
BANKER
There are relatives. We still make a good deal of our money on those already smashed
into the mud, I’d like to remind you. There’s always more money–that’s the beauty part.
Uncle Charlie or Aunt Lil comes through after much debased begging.
ASST
Banking’s a meatgrinder.
BANKER
Finally! You get it!
ASST
And all those Norman Rockwell-ish commercials? Drop in and just chat!
BANKER
Have a chocolate chip cookie and you won’t notice anything getting rammed
up your ass?
ASST
I never hear such language at board meetings.
BANKER
They’re designed not to have language. You come into this office for that.
ASSISTANT
We foreclosed on the one you...
BANKER
That was one greatly overextended asshole.
ASST
He was upside down, owed 450 on house worth ‘bout half that in current market.
BANKER
Now WE got it. Some joy!
ASST
Not too many of ‘em. Lucked out compared to other banks.
BANKER
One’s too many.
ASST
Your...brother in law wants to take it off our hands for 175.
BANKER
Don’t let that thief get anywhere near me!
ASST
And our foreclosee desires to RENT the dump now.
BANKER
What’s market rent?
ASST
Was 1800. We’d be lucky to get 11 in this chaos.
BANKER
Tell him 2000.
ASST
Chief! That poor sonofabitch is wrung out!
BANKER
There are relatives. We still make a good deal of our money on those already smashed
into the mud, I’d like to remind you. There’s always more money–that’s the beauty part.
Uncle Charlie or Aunt Lil comes through after much debased begging.
ASST
Banking’s a meatgrinder.
BANKER
Finally! You get it!
ASST
And all those Norman Rockwell-ish commercials? Drop in and just chat!
BANKER
Have a chocolate chip cookie and you won’t notice anything getting rammed
up your ass?
ASST
I never hear such language at board meetings.
BANKER
They’re designed not to have language. You come into this office for that.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
In Walgreen’s Drugs
Spies rack of rubbers
chief of which: MAGNUM!
EXTRA LARGE. A vision,not
of a damsel with a dulcimer,
but the girl cashier. “Hope
these are large enough!” he in-
forms her. Say I to him You’re
jiving in a time warp, Dude!
Yesterday’s female iced up or
blushed against boors. Today’s?
Best be ready as she flings riposte
curdling your urine,like,completely. So
in present Give-and-Take you
must rehearse your own part
cautiously. Ease over eggs any-
way in all sex-
ual games.
Spies rack of rubbers
chief of which: MAGNUM!
EXTRA LARGE. A vision,not
of a damsel with a dulcimer,
but the girl cashier. “Hope
these are large enough!” he in-
forms her. Say I to him You’re
jiving in a time warp, Dude!
Yesterday’s female iced up or
blushed against boors. Today’s?
Best be ready as she flings riposte
curdling your urine,like,completely. So
in present Give-and-Take you
must rehearse your own part
cautiously. Ease over eggs any-
way in all sex-
ual games.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Alfred Hitchcock
Little fat Hitch
should direct
relationships
like he did
Bel Geddes
from Broadway:
“Barbara! Don’t act!”
Little fat Hitch
should direct
relationships
like he did
Bel Geddes
from Broadway:
“Barbara! Don’t act!”
Friday, February 08, 2008
Keeping Appointments in Samarra
-Iraqi police and members of a neighborhood police unit found a mass grave containing about 50 bodies in an area west of Samarra, 100 km (60 miles) north of Baghdad, police said. Security forces had been searching for al Qaeda fighters when they found a house with 10 people inside who had been kidnapped from the area. Some of those inside led police to the grave. Three car bombs were also found. -Reuters
-Iraqi police and members of a neighborhood police unit found a mass grave containing about 50 bodies in an area west of Samarra, 100 km (60 miles) north of Baghdad, police said. Security forces had been searching for al Qaeda fighters when they found a house with 10 people inside who had been kidnapped from the area. Some of those inside led police to the grave. Three car bombs were also found. -Reuters
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Get Ready, Bucky! Betty too.
Guy in Winn-Dixie: Bush kept the war outa this country!
To scoffers he announced that when George departs &
any of the traitors now running supplants him:
IT'S ALL COMING DOWN !
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
GOP Philosophers (2)
-We don’t have any great, inspiring ideas! It’s grub grub grub for money,
with the table tilted to the grubbiest, filthiest, most meretricious...
-Whoa whoa whoa! Give me that bottle!
-Thieves and incompetents! Just crap!
-That’s just the practical and necessary side of things, Your Honor-
...able Drunk. How about the ideal side? Regan’s Shining City On the Hill!
-I stand corrected.
-But without shines of course.
-We don’t have any great, inspiring ideas! It’s grub grub grub for money,
with the table tilted to the grubbiest, filthiest, most meretricious...
-Whoa whoa whoa! Give me that bottle!
-Thieves and incompetents! Just crap!
-That’s just the practical and necessary side of things, Your Honor-
...able Drunk. How about the ideal side? Regan’s Shining City On the Hill!
-I stand corrected.
-But without shines of course.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
GOP Philosophers
-Republican party stands for hierarchy. We know our place, individually.
So, no chaos.
-I don’t know about all that.
-Look! I’m the honcho for this county. When I go to state headquarters I know where to sit and what to say. If I’m pitching for something they don’t want up there, I’m respectful and humorous.
-You kiss ass.
-Well, you reduce it to that phrase. But...I accept it.
-Is that how you got to where you are?
-Exactly! And way you’ll get here when I go higher. As a matter of fact, why you’re here now!
-I resent that!
-Resent all you want. We all know how the toast is buttered.
-There’s more give and take than all of that, no matter what you say.
-As much as I allow you; as much as State Chairman allows me.
-Uh uh. Model’s too cut and dried.
-That’s why it’s a model. Now no more theory, we got fuckin election to run.
-Yeah, how do we suppress the niggers this time?
-Why the traditional way! We’re Republicans.
-Republican party stands for hierarchy. We know our place, individually.
So, no chaos.
-I don’t know about all that.
-Look! I’m the honcho for this county. When I go to state headquarters I know where to sit and what to say. If I’m pitching for something they don’t want up there, I’m respectful and humorous.
-You kiss ass.
-Well, you reduce it to that phrase. But...I accept it.
-Is that how you got to where you are?
-Exactly! And way you’ll get here when I go higher. As a matter of fact, why you’re here now!
-I resent that!
-Resent all you want. We all know how the toast is buttered.
-There’s more give and take than all of that, no matter what you say.
-As much as I allow you; as much as State Chairman allows me.
-Uh uh. Model’s too cut and dried.
-That’s why it’s a model. Now no more theory, we got fuckin election to run.
-Yeah, how do we suppress the niggers this time?
-Why the traditional way! We’re Republicans.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Textile Grad Larry--knows his warp-woofs
LARRY
Don’t hear much about Chinese...except when they try to poison our kids with their toys.
ROCCO
We owe them an arm and a leg. They buy our low- interest bonds. Our government junk. Thus keeping afloat the Bush war machine and Walmarts. And we sell them more Buicks than here. Go figure!
LARRY
So, they’re fuckin important! I wanna read more about them. Whatsit? A billion or so? There’s gotta be a lot of sex of every variety in those gangs.
ROCCO
I know where you’re heading. Not admirable. As the kids text, POS: Parents
over shoulder. Our mothers are watching! God rest their pure souls.
LARRY
Yeah. Fine. But ever see them in a crowd? Or is that all Chinese have? Anyway, you could cop a thousand feels going two subway stops!
ROCCO
Well, a hundred perhaps.
LARRY
Man. I hope somebody starts smuggling out their Fuck Books and soon!
ROCCO
Not me. Maxed out on literature for the nonce.
LARRY
Don’t hear much about Chinese...except when they try to poison our kids with their toys.
ROCCO
We owe them an arm and a leg. They buy our low- interest bonds. Our government junk. Thus keeping afloat the Bush war machine and Walmarts. And we sell them more Buicks than here. Go figure!
LARRY
So, they’re fuckin important! I wanna read more about them. Whatsit? A billion or so? There’s gotta be a lot of sex of every variety in those gangs.
ROCCO
I know where you’re heading. Not admirable. As the kids text, POS: Parents
over shoulder. Our mothers are watching! God rest their pure souls.
LARRY
Yeah. Fine. But ever see them in a crowd? Or is that all Chinese have? Anyway, you could cop a thousand feels going two subway stops!
ROCCO
Well, a hundred perhaps.
LARRY
Man. I hope somebody starts smuggling out their Fuck Books and soon!
ROCCO
Not me. Maxed out on literature for the nonce.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Eleanor Rigby Has Been Visited 26 Times*
Well maybe
she’s less lone-
ly,poor thing
under sod.
Father Mackenzie,
for sure dead
after all these years,
settled for God.
Who listens so
it’s said.
*lyrics site
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Decision
When the lady chooses
one of lesser gifts,
the swain spurned tries
but cannot fathom,
of course. She finds
the other easi-
er to love, since he,
for his part,
gives up
thinking.
When the lady chooses
one of lesser gifts,
the swain spurned tries
but cannot fathom,
of course. She finds
the other easi-
er to love, since he,
for his part,
gives up
thinking.
Friday, February 01, 2008
The Hopis Have a Word For It
Na-qoy-qatsi: (nah koy’ kahtsee)
N. 1 A life of killing
each other 2 War
as a way of life.
3 Civilized sic
violence.
*loosely quoted from letter of Godfrey Reggio, Roanoke Times
Na-qoy-qatsi: (nah koy’ kahtsee)
N. 1 A life of killing
each other 2 War
as a way of life.
3 Civilized sic
violence.
*loosely quoted from letter of Godfrey Reggio, Roanoke Times
