All Over the Place

TV Interview of Dreadful By Illiterate

-I'm working on a book about the White House.

-What y'call it?

-Teabag.

-Sorry but we don't have time.

-Doesn't take much.

Supreme Mother Goose*

Court went on a tear &
saw a right that wasn't there.

Though some aver it is
with raging will,
it isn't still.

*re handguns

Fil-lums

The android has it
fastened with titanium

staples, so don't retard
us with sex.

Insert more exquisite
revenge, exploding

cars. Romantic ladies
can still audit

their Merchant-Ivory log,
where characters think

(…endlessly…)

of fucking, whilst
piling Empire

on the backs of
obsequious wogs.

The Well-Regulated Militia

We drill at my condo, Ronald Reagan, Phase 2, every Thursday.
Handguns over the heart.

Time was a problem, since most members have early digestive problems
to work out. We settled on 11, knowing that it’d make us hungry for
Chef Marcus’s noon spread.

The night persons wanted 2, but most members nap around then.

Everything’s been glitch-free except Lou M’s weapon discharged, barely
missing his big toe.

Oscar-the-German cracked, “Should've been your dick!”

“How would I know?”

The Social Justice Talk

CARDINAL
I came up Lace Curtain. I believe most Catholics are like that.
They want order, tradition.

BISHOP
Indeed, Eminence.

CARDINAL
But you have priests and nuns picketing! And worse!

BISHOP
There are other kinds of Catholics.

CARDINAL
Not in my dioceses. Social Justice comes from the pulpit.
From persuading the powerful to yield a bit. From scripture!

BISHOP
Too slow for some of our brother and sisters, Eminence.

CARDINAL
I won’t have my priests on the street! The Church isn’t the Salvation Army.

BISHOP
You want me to order...?

CARDINAL
The heavy hand isn’t my way, or Christ’s.

BISHOP
They may laugh away anything else.

CARDINAL
Imagination! dear Bishop. The Church is full-spectrum! Acquaint them
with other facets.

BISHOP
As you wish, Eminence.

CARDINAL
Exhaust them. I might suggest required theology seminars, for one. Those thickets will snare the over-righteous soul and sap its will.

BISHOP
Eminence can be witty.

CARDINAL
Witty? It’s said about me, but I can never fathom why at the time.

Rocco & The Violent Populist


ROCCO
Well, gas-price-total-fucking “explained” to Congress by power execs
and Wall Street Pirates.

VP
There’s quick answer. Take ’em out to a marble wall and summarily
execute.

ROCCO
Their buddies’d begin paying attention. But, blood baths? I don’t know.
Messy! But, must be a valid literature re cleaning blood from marble.

VP
CIA covers it in an appendix for foreign operators.

ROCCO
Once the blood letting starts...?

VP
Congress, Executive, and Court next.

ROCCO
Firing squads?

VP
Only for Exec and Justices. No explanation needed.

ROCCO
And Congress...?

VP
Exile to a volcanic island. They’ll bullshit each others’ ears off,
and they’re so incompetent they’ll starve.

ROCCO
Okay, so you’re rid of the government. How about the bribe money
that goes unused?

VP
Escrow. Then tapped for people.

ROCCO
So People’s government. Quaint notion.

VP
Not at all. We’ll start with local councils and let them figure it out
collectively.

ROCCO
You’re a dreamer.

VP
Beats the Capitalist Nightmare!

ROCCO
You don’t believe in Free Markets!

VP
Fuck-Markets.

ROCCO
How do you keep your new rule from becoming corrupt?

VP
You don’t, really. You just become a realist. However,
since the first sinners will be Capitalists, we just apply
the old blood cure. Simple.

ROCCO
You scare me almost to the Right.

VP
Wouldn’t suggest.

Right Wing Radio


-They look like florescent chickens!

-We wanted to make the point that panties on the head just fraternity
hi-jinks, not depraved torture. The intern got jazziest ones
Dollar Store offers.

-Well it’s outa control in there! Missing cues for commercials
in the frenzy.

-They won’t calm down!

-Well we got it all on studio cam, and still guy and videographer
did their thing. They’ve gotta knock it off now!

-They’ve been transported!

-Yeah? Well, dirty jokes are seething in. And we gotta lotta listeners don’t
like sex, period! And a great many sponsors, let me severely remind you.

-We’re usually so party line! Give us some silly elbow room.

-Heads will roll if they don’t knock off this perverted shit toute suite!

Rocco & His Most Severe Friend


ROCCO
That’s some flood that Mighty Miss and Mighty Mo are smashing out.

MSF
Those poor people. They must feel like Guatemalans did waiting for our Death Squad buddies.

ROCCO
Congress trying to get some catastrophe fund together, for hurricanes, quakes,
floods etc.

MSF
That won’t help the poor bastards presently losing everything they got.

ROCCO
What do you suggest?

MSF
AK-47s. Blast old Miss Snedley when she leans over from the rowboat to pluck Rupert, the Peke, from the muddy waves. Right in the ass!

ROCCO
Where does this surrealism go?

MSF
Well, then it’s a fuckin war and there’s plenty of money for that!


Rocco lives in S Philly, where unique points of view proliferate.

Summers

-Ah the Summer of Love! And we were there!

-Uh huh. Now it’s the Summer of Hemorrhoids.

-They’re treatable.

-Yeah, but it’s the beginning of the fuckin end!

-That’s right.

-Hey your role is to mollify! You’re fuckin everything up!

-Well, when we hit a home truth I verify it.

-Wonderful fuckin future!

-Speaking of which, when you get an erection which lasts four hours...

-I know, don’t address the Sunday School.

The Botanist

1) explores leaf,
its underlayer
and under that.

2) In pursuit of?
See 1.

3) God? Life
too short.

“Did Exxon-Mobil Buy Your Senator?”*


-I saw that too! Just the regular Lefty insult!

-Well, did they?–with all due respect.

-Clown! They’ve been regular and generous contributors, or their employees...whatever. They bundle the dough to evade the stupid law.
But it’d take mega mega to buy me!

-Would you say that with all your contributors combined, you’re bought?

-Trussed-up like a Thanksgiving turkey! But I’ve mysteriously got stock
in most of the corporations. So you’d hafta say I’m buying myself.

-Extraordinary paradox. Or something. Where do the people fit in all of this?

-Fuck the people! Do they make anything go? This is Washington.
No people here.

*TrueMajority

Initial Conference


-First, Congratulations! We spent more than we wanted, but...

-Here I are! E-fuckin-lected!

-You’re to vote the party, no matter what you say in or out of the chamber.

-But, my district!

-Rarely, you can vote your district when it conflicts with leadership.
Special circumstances, and we’ll discuss them thoroughly at the time.

-Isn’t there a third way? Individual? Free? Especially on a bill meaning
practically nothing, say? I’m known as a bit of a maverick. My brand!

-No.

-But my reputation!

-Reputation? Hey! We got blatant thieves, depraved philanderers, and compulsive faggots!

-But they know how to vote?

-You’re a quick study! What a future you’ve got!

GOP Discovering Environment

How now Old Gouge,
Greeding the grass
Always greener?

Ever a buck in Sin &
Right Virtue.

Under Conservative Banner

The very best sign
to fuck you blind.

Hey! You don’t like
Executive and their wars?

Congress, (see Cowards) only,
empowered to declare thus.

Instead they hop in lines
like lascivious toads. So

present brigands well
within the right

they’ve snatched.
Kids die for the cause

of shopping.

Hell


-You’ll have two channels. One is Chick Flicks only; the other, Bitter,
Middle-Aged Women-–mostly hammer-on-the-head documentaries
on that one.

-Specific punishment all right. Fluff and Anger. What did I do to...?

-Probably what you didn’t do. Your inaction revealed more than any abuse.

-Just trying to get by. I don’t think life should be a mystery where you’re
always guessing. Say it straight out and I’ll think about it!

-Be all that as it was, are you willing to be re-educated? Sensitized?

-No. How much for a few sports channels?

-Everything for sale, huh? Like the planet you came from.

-How about Heaven?

-I can’t get in there, even with a visa. But I suspect it’s Really Big Money.

-One hand washes the other.

-It’s a clean place all right.

-Yeah, well here I am at any rate. I can’t watch those fem shows. I’ll puke.

-It’s an extreme punishment okay. Maybe we can work something out.

-I’ve come to the right place.

-Sent.

-Whatever.

-----
No posts till 6/17

Hell


-You’ll have two channels. One is Chick Flicks only; the other, Bitter,
Middle-Aged Women-–mostly hammer-on-the-head documentaries
on that one.

-Specific punishment all right. Fluff and Anger. What did I do to...?

-Probably what you didn’t do. Your inaction revealed more than any abuse.

-Just trying to get by. I don’t think life should be a mystery where you’re
always guessing. Say it straight out and I’ll think about it!

-Be all that as it was, are you willing to be re-educated? Sensitized?

-No. How much for a few sports channels?

-Everything for sale, huh? Like the planet you came from.

-How about Heaven?

-I can’t get in there, even with a visa. But I suspect it’s Really Big Money.

-One hand washes the other.

-It’s a clean place all right.

-Yeah, well here I am at any rate. I can’t watch those fem shows. I’ll puke.

-It’s an extreme punishment okay. Maybe we can work something out.

-I’ve come to the right place.

-Sent.

-Whatever.

Bring shark in on a forklift

Have to hurry
things along
before he,

like us,
stinks.

On the 7th Tee, Par 3

-What is there, a nickel bet on each putt? Not allowed to play that slow!
I'm gonna give 'em a yell to get going!

-No way you are! Those are, arguably, the four richest men
in America on that green. High on the world's list too.

-Then fuck ‘em, the way they're fucking everybody else!

-Not us they aren't, o half-Socialist one. In one way or another,
they are our clients. Trickle-down is a cruel myth for Joe
or José Sixpack, but not for us.

-We need a left-leaner for president, who'll appoint judges
to disrupt this horribly toxic corporate rule.

-Uh huh? The likely one wants those who’ll understand single
mothers! I wish a violin'd fit in my golf bag. I'd like to play
it now, mixed with Compassionate Conservative tears.

-I understand what he's driving at, any any counterweight
to those rapacious pirates on the green there!

-You expect them to support all the little Black Sambos then?

-Scratch a guy who worships status-quo and you'll find
a racist.

-Me, or them?

-If the foo shits...?

-I like wit, even that juvenile kind.

-As the song says (sings) They can't take that away from me

-Well, it's the only thing. Never forget that.

Tale of Tubs

Famous clip from Katrina:
Grandma with clamped face
in huge plastic tub being

pushed by kin. Where came
from, a tub like that?

Probably monster bakery,
for mixing dough. No matter.

The proposition now in Congress
"One Person, One Tub" promises
to alleviate suffering on a grand scale.

Will work thusly: Citizen reports to
Tub Distribution Facility, TDF.

Under Republicans, Loyalty Oath
must be sworn, + gratuity expected.

Under Democrats, Tub free! Af-
ter completion of 15-page form.

Headline Reserved for Ignorant

BIG EARS BEATS WIDE-ASS

Mama’s Big Comfy Tit

“Homeland Security”
sports highest % of
political appointees.

Corporate Reply

While jobs were being shipped,
we protested it’s not good to
lose this shared wealth. We need

manufacturing, not the
least for defense.

They answered:
1) Many more jobs’ll be created!

2) You can’t do a fuckin thing about it.

We stopped waiting on 1, kept believing 2.
Called despair. Churches persuaded to deal

with it after small grants. Amazing
how little they’ll jump for.

Dog

-I think Lulu has had a silly-ass puppyhood around the barnyard.

-She’s a clown all right.

-Well, she starts herding tomorrow.

-Roscoe won’t like that!

-Breaks my heart. But it’s time.

-Just a dog, Carl!

-Smarter than most fuckin humans you ask me!

-Lulu’s quick. Won’t take outing or two. And then?

-Rosco’ll hafta stay home. Rest of his days.

-He won’t eat. He’ll mope.

-It’s time, Goddammit! I hope my sons do it as well when it’s mine.

-Rip will. He’ll put a beer in one hand and a sandwich in
the other and say. “Kitchen’s your base of operations now!”

-And Benny?

-He’ll say, “Hired men know what to do. You worry too much!
Call me in a tee time, Dad.”

-And Rip won’t stay! I know it!

-Nope. He’ll get a spread ten times larger, and throw this one to Benny!

-Man it all seems hopeless!

-You and Roscoe all right!