Saturday, December 29, 2018

 

Red-Headed Woodpecker


Crummy aura, then
he flashes in, breaking
sound too with his


rat-tat after.
Feisty little guy!


Saving us
from ourselves.

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Tuesday, September 05, 2017

 

Details in the Locale


Fixing Up

-His girlfriend dumped him so
ceremoniously–-everything but
a brass band!--hardly a corner
in this fair city where they’re
not on Humiliation Watch.

-There to laugh at him uproariously?

-The poorer sectors, yes.

-For richer?

-Thrusts, sophisticated and exquisitely
cruel.

-So, bottom line, everywhere he goes he’s
shamed? Piling on to his wretchedness?

-Whammo! Or weewee.

-People are disgusting!

-Since he won’t but speak two words
or so in his depression, I’m trying
to fix him up with Jolly Judy.

-She’ll lift him!...or talk him to death.

-She’s the only choice. A normal girl
not into therapy, but fun!

-How come you always need to have
fun with other folks, and they’re usually
the worst?

-What’s that movie? Death takes a Holiday?
Well, people let go of their sour funks from
time to time.

-Catch ‘em on the upswing?

-The only way!

-Is the ordinary condition misery?

-Screw you!



The Definition

-They call me dumb. Everybody calls me dumb.

-Okay, now let’s just examine what that means?

-You’re right about that. They’re awfully mean!

-No, you misunderstood.

-See!

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Friday, April 01, 2016

 

Deciphering



Which?

-I feel particularly lousy!

-A moment ago: Terrific!

-Both.

-Where’s the consistency? Are you
Trump or Hillary?

-I still pee standing up!

-Barely.

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Sunday, August 04, 2013

 

Graphic Obsession



For Art’s Sake


Racky couldn't stop thinking of Lil-Anne. It made
him queasy. As love would have it, he saw an
answer online.

Dr Kip Krissimohn and Picture Your Obsession!
picurobs.com.

You answered a questionnaire, and the program
assembled a graphic picture of the whole business.

Racky used his Paypal and then printed out the...
well it started as a bar graph of many colors, and
then sort of mishmashed into a kind of haze.
He figured it was mostly the cheap printer.

But he actually liked the result and took it to the
frame shop. Corwell there said it'd work better much
enlarged, so Racky dropped it off later on a flash drive
and Corwell printed it 60 x 100.

After “Photoshopping the crap out of it!”

They both picked out an ornate frame more suitable
for an ancient banquet portrait. “It works,” Corwell
pronounced, “but I haven’t an idea in hell how!
No charge for it–-going to Salvation Army anyhow."

When Racky got it home and studied it, said nothing
of Lil-Anne to him, which was okay since she had
joined the Navy and was instantly gone for training.

And that stinging fact made it look even more odd
to him as it leaned against his TV room wall.

Even his favorite Lakers made him uneasy that evening.
“Maybe it bothers the players too,” he joked to his
mother, a retired VA psychologist. She said bring it over.

At her apartment she laughed, “Knowing you, I don't
see anything in it to help as to the girl who got away.
Instead of trying to think about that, why not just
forget the original reason you printed it and enjoy?
It’s kind of pretty.”

Tillie the Decorator dropped by with paint samples,
and immediately started to croak: “Over the
Rabinowitz's sofa!”

Upshot, she gave him a thousand. She had offered
seven hundred but he sincerely told her he couldn't
let it go for that. The processing and framing alone
had cost him six–-he tripled for effect.

Rabinowitz  despised it after a week, and wife, Carly,
persuaded him to hang it in their smallest jewelry shop
in the grimy strip mall.

There, Manager Darlene said it made the engaged
couples moody.

Tillie exchanged it for a primitive print of maritime
Maine, and took it back and hung it in her shop.

With a ten thousand dollar price.

In a week, Jinky Romards, Netflix producer and world-
famous depressive, threw it in the back of his Jag.

Mickey-O, Racky’s friend from work, had gone to
Vegas with his girlfriend, and they lost everything--
smashing up their relationship for a sardonic chaser. 
With the idea of cheering him up, Racky lifted a picture
of his Basset, Renton, from a desk drawer and took it
to Corwell to frame.

He told him about his foray into art with Tillie.
“I’ve worked with her and she’s totally toxic-nuts!
Don’t offer her anything else. She’ll never accept
another one.”

So it proved a one-shot art career. 


Flirtatious, and yet mercurial, Kevvy then entered
his life.

And no program could ever ever approximate her!

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