Saturday, January 19, 2019
Numbers
Colorless Dirk
sensationally absconded,
Gwendie chose a woman!
Three...turns out.
Stop here.
Same waste.
Labels: breakup, leaving, men, pardners, sex, women
Thursday, December 13, 2018
Ends
-Kelli and I finally had THE TALK!
-The Delay Card disintegrating in your
crippled fingers?
-Think...Mudstorm-Tsunami.
-(sings) Where were you blown to?
-Separate trees!
-Oak, Christmas, what?
-Can there exist a Female Variety?
-Better be!
-Her final announcement, anyway:
she’s switching to girls altogether.
And starting Wholesale!
-She must hate herself.
-The only profound question concerns
the transferability of faked orgasms.
-She can search the literature.
-Or Feminist Poetry?
-At any rate, you both have some
time to think now.
-Uh uh! Enough of that shit already!
Moving to the desert before she wades
into Social Media blaming me. Expect to
be pissing my pants with some regularity.
-For my sake, practice stationing yourself
downwind right now!
downwind right now!
-What’s your, uh, sister doing?
-The usual nothing.
-On the market again?
-Yeah, but not to Jews!
-I’m a Catholic!
-Worse.
Labels: bi, bisexual, breakup, Catholic, feminism, Jew, macho, relationship
Monday, September 10, 2018
Conversation Sans Clues
-Your breakup with her remains
the ultimate horror show!
-Worse!
-Okay! But time passes, or even limps.
So, what happened?
-I don’t know.
-Come on! Generalize! Or just play out
a vague thread we both can catch!
-Can’t. Haven’t the least.
-”Precious Dope Persona?” Und Victim therefore?
-If you wish.
-Uh huh? Kleenex round about? I must needs weep!
-I...I…
-A start!
-...fail at everything!
-Welcome to the Club! Now, talk!
-It’s ALL talk with everybody else.
I really DO! FAIL! EVERYTHING!
-Then are you my HERO!!
Labels: breakup, depression, despair, friends, regret
Tuesday, September 04, 2018
Her Worldly Thoughts
She acts him out after breakfast.
The lies!
He crowds her phones thereafter
when she won’t pick up.
His messages finally beg for
“a good talk.”
In her Grandmother’s phrase
He can hold his hand on his ass
waiting for…
The new man proves dull.
Weather seeming permanently so.
Job the same.
Nothing can possibly happen.
Labels: boredom, breakup, personality
Saturday, May 19, 2018
Dunkin
After Gerry’s Bum of the Month
has exited--Finally!--GOS* schedules
a MEGA PIGOUT at Dunkin Donuts.
Lauren claims, though, that the assortment still hasn’t brought her to the correct farting pitch, fetches a tray of eclairs.
Our skinniest, Alica, demurs with expected drama--”Look how fat I’m getting!”
Inhales two while protesting with pinches
of sparse flesh.
Meditative Alma desires a good crap, would give anything for one.
Which news pitches Gerry from breakup
despair into a giggling fit...escalating
further when we’re shoving her back into
the car.
“Why do we need an event to have an event?” inquires Marcy-Dee--always on a natural high--as she aims the Subaru.
*Girls Oft Scorned
Labels: breakup, calories, eating, elimination, girlfriends, sweets
Tuesday, April 17, 2018
Two Suits
1-6
6
I don’t talk to rookies. After all,
you went with Malora a mere
month; whereas…
1
You were engaged a sordid six!
But couldn’t get her to the altar.
6
The altar would hafta come to Mal,
last in a chain of thoroughly expected
miracles.
1
She’s more famous for her breakups.
For that lousy month, I still shake years
later at her pointed phrasing!
6
And I can quote her to the exact, cruel, letter.
1
Wonder what she’s doing now?
6
This moment? Piling little wood
shavings. To ignite while chanting
to the Mean Broads’ Chief God.
shavings. To ignite while chanting
to the Mean Broads’ Chief God.
1
Nothing so elaborate. I can see her with
your voodoo doll, pin poised above its
shriveled penis.
6
No! Please! Don’t!
1
And when she drives it home don’t
scream like a girl!
6
I like screaming like a girl. They get
a lot out.
1
Everything?
6
That’s not possible.
Labels: breakup, engagement, female, male, marriage, Romance
Friday, April 06, 2018
Separate and Together
The first time Raj and Maria split,
was half-baked recriminations
and silly threats.
This time, with maturity...bitter and
wounding! With murderous wit.
Raj weakened then, being neither
Great Lover nor unmerciful needler.
When the Bureau of Reconciliation
reached him, he said yes.
He’d try again, under professional
guidance this time.
Maria, too, agreed.
The first step a month-long questionnaire which both responded to.
Dutifully. The questions becoming more
and more personal.
And tediously picayune.
Then, while their case being discussed
by a panel of social experts, the couple
encouraged to text nearly continuously!
This proved loosening, as compared
to the ground glass of their usual
quarrels.
Finally, Maria commented
Raj, huh? Serendipitous for me!
Love Arabian Nights. Know every
story!
They continued in this fairy tale
vein...Sinbad, Magic Carpets and
the rest.
SHE DIDN’T KNOW HIS NAME
WAS RAJ?
Upshot: Vaunted bureau had
found the wrong Maria!
When Raj notified them, they
denied all guilt and dropped
the case.
The couple still texting, and she
has promised to do her
Dance of the Seven Veils
when they meet next week.
Her last text: I love you Raj!
His: Perfect together in our new exotic world!
Incompetence may yet produce one
of the great love stories of our time!Labels: Arabian Nights, breakup, bureaucracy, fairy tale, relationship
Friday, March 23, 2018
Truth
Meet six years after breakup.
Still wants to give her side.
Fantastical!
In Life, we show the takes make
us look good. Not a surprise.
To the cutting room floor with
her Mother Teresa!
As I splice and project my
combination of George Patton
and St Francis of Assisi!
Could the intelligent viewer deduce
the Truth after both film versions?
The WHAT?
Hey, Truth is a Prisoner of War!
Labels: breakup, competing versions, quarrel, retrospect, Romance, Truth
Sunday, February 25, 2018
The Comparison
First time Glads and Chester split,
she was the wronged party.
You want to see WRONGED? Oy!
So this last time, she orchestrated
his total humiliation.
Bill Hetz remarked that “She left him
like the smoking ruins of a
Syrian city full of dead children!”
The rest of us cried foul at such
a comparison, but he declared
there are no rules when it
comes to personal cruelty.Labels: breakup, personal cruelty, relationship, sex
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
Returning
They meet after a long while,
returning gifts to Home Depot.
Later, their serving Elf had lost
a couple of steps at Santa's
Coffeehouse, so she remarks
"We were such Idiots!"
"Age appropriate."
"I don't think I like that.
It implies I'm never really
calling the shots."
"You dance. We danced."
"I'd like to try The Lindy."
"Just need a partner."
"Not really."
Labels: breakup, dancing, Fate, regret, relationship, retrospective
Monday, December 11, 2017
Sobering
announces Marcy.
Drink after work.
Jennifer and Ruth doubt.
Morphs into five each as guys buy
Gals finally agree men bastards!
Marcy leaves...realizing propaganda
from Female Front.
Bit tipsy. Heels clatter.
Fleeing into his arms! Yes ! This last time!
Folding there, ah!
But they’re occupied.
Labels: breakup, female, makeup, over, Romance, work
Tuesday, November 14, 2017
Absurdly Dealing With the Absurd
When Jennifer left with
Hobie, Chunzie thought
that wherever love took
them, he should know the
address to forward her mail.
He finally called Beverly,
the other wronged spouse.
Who, dramatically, wanted to
meet with him.
They comforted each other.
Rather too well.
Extracting from her became
imperative.
And was accomplished awkwardly.
In the meantime, Old Man Tompkins
died, and his two sons ordered him
to run things and keep the firm
from bankruptcy.
Which he did, is doing.
And Roscoe the Lab, starts perking
up from his funk missing
Jennifer when Chunzie throws
a week of her embroided panties
(Sunday, Monday, etc)
into a mesh laundry bag and
tosses it among his pillows.
His oldest friend, Yaz, remarks
“Do you have any solutions not
bizarre?”
“Not lately.”
“I’d stop praying to The God
of Chaos right now!”
“He has put me on auto.”
The absconded Romeo and
Juliet finally located in
Cow Gulch, Wisconsin!
“Where else?” sighs Yaz,
“the huge tropical moon over
the cheese factory.
Swaying palms.
Ricardo strumming his Sear’s
Latin Chord Guitar and
wrenching out airs
from old Seville.”
“WHATEVER!”
punctuated Chunzie.
“Life isn’t language.”
“It isn’t?”
Labels: breakup, friend, language, marriage, Romance, running off, Spain
Friday, November 03, 2017
Mainspring
A (singing) Breaking up is
hard to do.
B With a wife, maybe. A girlfriend
not so much.
A How so?
B So.
A What's next?
B The world turns and doesn't give
a shit.
A Uh huh? How about the individuals
in it?
B They're a lost cause.
A I know one who is.
B No secret to me.
A How can you stand yourself?
B I don't have to. No one does.
B How so?
A I just pretend.
B What you do anyway. And what gets
you into trouble.
A Not so! The mainspring!
Labels: breakup, imagination, marriage, relationship, wife
Sunday, October 29, 2017
Intricate
-That woman had a mind of
bedeviling complexity!
-How’d it go with... ?
-Went! Endless horror show!
-What happened to her?
-Moved to Europe.
-That far enough?
-Just.
Labels: breakup, complex mind, Europe, neurotic, relationship, romantic after math
Monday, October 16, 2017
The Theory of Neglect
-Women have affairs because they feel neglected!
-Oh? My take is that they’ve run out the string on
the orginal sucker.
-As did your Gwennie?
-In hysterical spades!
-Well...you've both moved on.
-Uh huh? One person can screw up
royally. Add others to the mix and you
got chaos cubed.
-We can cope.
-There's no way! But I found one answer.
-I'm all ears...why the women laugh.
-Those protrudos bring in radar too?
-The answer? o most Fractional Wit!
-I borrowed the brain of a village idiot!
-How would you describe the experience?
-Chicago-Ecstacy-Slidebolt!
-That good?
Labels: affair, breakup, divorce, idiot, infidelity
Thursday, October 12, 2017
Short
-Too WHAT?
-What’s the difference?
Labels: breakup, brevity, defeat, reasons for split, relationship, summary
Tuesday, October 03, 2017
Dump
Her dump of Harold was now fully in effect.
They were to speak, of course, but only
in softly polite generalities.
Brenda saw him at the Little League Parade,
and both merged moderately sunny hellos.
Then an old woman fell into the path of
the Crestview Drum and Bugle Corps.
Bugsy, bass drummer and joker, gave the
incident his loudest thump!
Then, more staccato ones as his colleagues
disarrayed.
Harold plucked her back through all this
stumbling and random toots.
To the bleachers, where he cleaned her
face with tissues. Finally, stroked her hair.
Voice light as his touch.
“Goddammit all to hell!” sobbed Brenda,
“Why are you so good? You’re always
so fuckin...!”
Labels: accident, breakup, caring, Charity, Little League, love, Music, nice, old, parade
Tuesday, September 05, 2017
Details in the Locale
Fixing Up
-His girlfriend dumped him so
ceremoniously–-everything but
a brass band!--hardly a corner
in this fair city where they’re
not on Humiliation Watch.
-There to laugh at him uproariously?
-The poorer sectors, yes.
-For richer?
-Thrusts, sophisticated and exquisitely
cruel.
-So, bottom line, everywhere he goes he’s
shamed? Piling on to his wretchedness?
-Whammo! Or weewee.
-People are disgusting!
-Since he won’t but speak two words
or so in his depression, I’m trying
to fix him up with Jolly Judy.
-She’ll lift him!...or talk him to death.
-She’s the only choice. A normal girl
not into therapy, but fun!
-How come you always need to have
fun with other folks, and they’re usually
the worst?
-What’s that movie? Death takes a Holiday?
Well, people let go of their sour funks from
time to time.
-Catch ‘em on the upswing?
-The only way!
-Is the ordinary condition misery?
-Screw you!
The Definition
-They call me dumb. Everybody calls me dumb.
-Okay, now let’s just examine what that means?
-You’re right about that. They’re awfully mean!
-No, you misunderstood.
-See!
Labels: breakup, cruelty, dumb, fix up, friendship, humiliation, mood, piling on, society
Sunday, August 20, 2017
The Love Profession
Roman filled Samantha's
desire as to his professions
of love.
Ubiquitous. Continuous.
In times of her severest need,
flooding!
Thus stood he as model to
indifferent men who really
would rather watch the Giants.
And the presents! Usual milestones
but also surprises aplenty!
She never knew when some jazzy
trinket would be delivered!
Her stock of such could start
a small...well. Gift Shop.
Or as our New England friends
might devise:
Ye Smalle Gifte Shoppe.
Anyway, her ultimate reaction?
Cast him off as too smothering.
"I couldn't breathe! I need a space FOR...!
Book-gifted him, though, in the trauma.
"Become the Bad Boy!"
by Carlotta Anthony.
“seven seemingly infantile steps to...”
Labels: bad boy, breakup, emotional need, football, Giants, lovers'' gifts, professions of love, relationship
Saturday, June 03, 2017
A Small Society
When Hennesy Birdsong’s ten-year girlfriend
left him, we couldn’t wait to revenge ourselves on
The Master Ribber!
The Melody in question, too, left a trail of bright
crumbs regarding their sex life, bizarre and prosaic
at once. Her female chums relayed such, in detail.
So much that we had to plan the precise first jab.
Hart, our most educated, assumed the final,
verbal role.
Something softly literary, yet singularly vicious!
So so cruelly successful that Henzy cried a solid hour,
We piled beer and Fritos in front of him, and grew scared
when the fountains splashed into yet another hour.
He was having trouble catching his breath.
So we phoned our absent Dr Brister, on hospital duty.
“He’ll stop. We all stop.”
He did and wow! The Guilt Trips!
Inquiries have been made as to the exact insult.
But that would be wasting it.
Labels: breakup, cruelty, friends, Guilt Trip, insult, relationship, ribbing
