Friday, July 07, 2017
Planet Where Everyone Has Written a Novel
By law, it can only be read by one person.
Mime rests on the shelf of Ossnow Graz-Graz,
so I campaign...and wheedle, and dance etc.
I lastly bought the national treat, SizzleySnicks for
his children until they vomited!
Considered a happy event here! Rumor is he picked it
up then, and read a page at random.
Good enough for me for now. I feel the artistry shows.
I’m optimistic!
Everyone is congratulating him on his little pukers!
Labels: advertising, art, children, custom, novel, parents, self advertising, writing
Sunday, October 23, 2016
Crime In a Conservative Place
to be caught!
Red-handed,
as they say,
when not even
a prior suspect.
The religion
you're stuck with
enables your dead
parents to keen
after you
everywhere.
Pile on.
But they like
the eventual
plea bargain.
Labels: Conservative, crime, parents, religion
Tuesday, March 08, 2016
The Defiant One
Her mother and he agreed. Extraction
of the cell phone for a week.
She cried. At the actual imposition, and
continuously during the sentence.
She got it back, and he, somewhat guilty,
agreed to take her and two girlfriends
to see The Bell Bottoms, a throwback
trio of acne-scarred guitarists and “singers.”
An explosion of light and smoke and noise
like car crashes. With girls like his daughter
screaming.
The trio he brought remained enraptured
for two weeks! Such a mooniness is
devoutly to be wished.
If only for its quiet.
Which lasted a while longer. Breathing space.
Then a mid morning call from the principal.
When he arrived, present with her and the two
other girls, Detective Sergeant Del Destry.
Who had stopped them sneaking from the
school, intent on joining the boy band for
its upstate tour.
The musicians knew nothing of the plan...
or so they said.
The Principal wanted them immediately back
in class, and would drive them home after,
conferring with each set of parents thereby.
Mr Ohner, the shop teacher, volunteered to stay
in the car with the ones or one remaining. Until
the final stop.
A well-organized plan to help shatter parents.
The detective ultimately walked him out.
The high school was at the foot of a long,
uphill avenue.
“What do you see when you look up there?”
“Busy street. Cars.”
“I see a parade of psychologists and social workers.”
“And an end result of...misery?”
“Why not try Sister Veronica?”
The retired nun ran a soup kitchen at St Luke’s.
His Cindy there? mused he. No way!
Way. She became indispensable.
Persuaded him and his wife to help out at the
Christmas Dinner.
He toasted Sister Veronica after, with cranberry juice.
“We owe you!”
“You owe God.” Didn’t disagree.
Labels: beleaguered parents, boy band, cell phone, defiance, father, girls, Mother, nun, parents, problem girls, soup kitchen, teen behavior
Thursday, February 18, 2016
The Nonpareil
“Didn’t I tell you? He is the absolute BEST!”
Reg in the bathroom then, peeing like a
normal human.
But he was a God according to Cindy.
“We’re starting to set the date!”
Her mother kissed her.
Her father mused about “Enough losers
to form a line past that apple tree out there!”
“Your apple tree, Daddy. Oh you’re so
wonderful to have an apple tree!”
Cindy had gotten foolish and that was fine.
After so so much tragedy, real and imagined.
Reg returned, the smell of soap on his hands,
to amiable chatting.
Then the vital couple catapulted out: So much
to DO!
Bringing him a quiet coffee, but froze. He had
done the same in his beige recliner.
“This coffee has gooed-up in the cup,” later
noted Officer Simmons to Detective Bettancourt.
“And me without a spoon!”
Labels: admirable male, courtship, death, difficult daughter, parents
Friday, January 15, 2016
What's In One?
Name
-I’ll tell you again. It’s Laurelthea.
-Her parents came up with that during their
most rancid screw!
-Whatever. She’s old news.
-Did you call her Laurel? Or Thea?
-She insisted on Laurelthea. “My name is me!”
-Did that pass for profound back then?
-Everything did!
-Grade Inflation.
-Well I get F!
-Uh uh! SHE does! Circe the Ruin Girl!
Job she did on you belongs in textbooks!
-I’m a Jimmy Buffet fan.
-(sings) Some folks claim that there’s a woman
to blame!
-(sings) But it’s my own damn fault!
-So you take responsibility! Why?
-Because that’s the greatest con there is!
////
Would smell as sweet? Really!
Budge said that Gwen was
really a Cynthia. It caught
on with the gang and her
real name all but forgotten.
Even her parents took to calling
her that. A brother and sister
had moved out and never phoned.
Of course, she was still legally Gwendolyn.
In filling out college forms, paying taxes,
driver's license.
When she came of age, she decided to
change it in law.
But in a gigantic screwup, the petition
stated she was Cynthia, changing to
Gwendolyn.
She's back officially Gwen, and all have
left her. Parents for some retirement
heaven in Equador, gang peeling off.
Her brother and sister emailed her once,
and that was it.
But a boyfriend came weaving down the pike,
a drunk, of course. She's afraid of losing him.
She does smell sweet by the way. He? Don’t ask!
Labels: a rose by, Circe, Fatal Woman, friends, Jimmy Buffet, name, parents, person as name, siblings
Monday, December 07, 2015
Losing to Faith
Intos
Though Luke’s parents pounded it into
his head from Toddlerhood, finally asked
“Which one is HE?”
They signed him into St Teresa’s, and Most
Reverend Markham, MD, deposited him into
the “Jesus Ward.”
A joke to the nurses, but true enough.
Labels: Christianity, clergy, Jesus, MD, mental illness, nurses, parents, priest, religious instruction, toddler
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Crime In a Conservative Place
How awful
to be caught!
Red-handed,
as they say,
when not even
a prior suspect.
The religion
you're stuck with
enables your dead
parents to keen
after you
everywhere.
Pile on.
But they like
the eventual
plea bargain.
Labels: Conservative, crime, haunting, parents, plea bargain, religion
Sunday, October 11, 2015
The Beauty Thing
Her View of Herself
J’s beauty consisted largely of makeup
meticulously applied, and a series of
tricks, some newly learned from Czech spas.
This last fad her girlfriends shared, laughing
over coffee and low cal...well, anything.
The translations proved especially gawky
on youtube.
She refused to let boyfriends see her in the
morning, setting the alarm for five.
The rest of her life consisted in buying clothes.
Her parents disagreed. Mom: so so pretty; Dad:
useless weight on the fuckin earth!
The only crises to move her was physical.
An herbal paste causing a rash along her
shoulders.
Thus, the dermatologist came on her team,
joining the plastic surgeon and others.
Her lips beset. Too thin. Injections made them
ridiculous.
J took vacation time and hid. The lips were gotten
down to large, but not absurd.
Weeks for that! her father fumed. Her mother laughed
a setback but, again, so so pretty.
One day you walk from the frame, and a young woman
takes your place.
With J, she was rather pushed from it. Transferred to
Brazil to help start a new branch, she soon graced
Rio’s beaches. But, lost mid so many younger beauties...
But not in the mind of a man who runs fleets of taxis.
He courts tirelessly, and they elope to Vegas.
In two weeks, she develops a slots problem, but he keeps her
budgeted.
They drop in on the parents before going back to Brazil.
Dad likes anyone hard-working. Mom pronounces so so pretty,
but too young to marry!
Placido doesn’t mind all the time spent on makeup and clothes.
He says she’s beautiful with or without.
He’s considered handsome in a gray-tinged way, but could
care less.
Labels: aging, beauty, beauty work, gambling, makeup, marriage, mature beauty, parents, Vegas
Friday, April 27, 2012
Parents
-She said to me: “You men think you're hot shit with your peepees!”
-Have you worked through your preliminary analysis?
-Sex, having to do with sex. How would she know...? Such a little...!
-Rudimentary program in her school--if you remember last year's PTA war.
-Well, that's all bad enough, but hot shit?
-That's just vulgarity. Children pick that up from playmates.
-You remember I wanted to home-school her?
-We can transfer our prejudices without that.
-Who are these playmates?
-Children of your friends. Like their parents,
they run the gamut from genteel to vulgar,
from moral to...its inverse.
-Well I don't like it. My little honey-bunny!
-Honey bunnies grow up. A few even develop opinions.
-What are the names of these children
she plays with?
-Do you have a warrant?
Labels: children, parents, sex
