Wednesday, April 30, 2008

 
Baghdad Disney*


“Welcome to the Café des Artistes. Remember! Only the food and drink are real.
The suicide bomber tonight--and even I don’t know when she’ll enter–
will be Fatima. You’ll recognize her from The Rose of the Occupation
soap opera. Again a caution! She doesn’t actually blow apart.

It’s illusion, my friends. Done mostly with lighting. And the explosion is
compressed air.

I tell you all of this not to spoil the show, but because some of you
with memories are known to scream and dive under the tables.

Life can be so awfully silly sometimes.

So, enjoy yourselves until...Fatima. Eat drink and be merry until she dies!”


*Disneyland-Style Theme Park Set for Baghdad--Mother Jones

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

 
Two Republican Strategists


-Money!

-Any route to it for us and our buddies. Call it what you will.

-We can hire college boys to name programs, so Joe Blow Citizen thinks
he’s getting a shake.

-Then we shake it!

-While putting it up his ass.

-It all comes out in the end.

-Time, though, for another overall concept. Biggie!

-I loved Shining City on the Hill.

-But without the shines! No?

-How about Every Man Rich?

-And woman! Let’s not forget our loving afterthoughts.

-Yeah. Let’s proclaim it! But we wouldn’t want it, of course.

-How so?

-If all are the same, thus average, then how can we continue to be
vastly superior?

-We will, just not in money.

-Excuse me?


Monday, April 28, 2008

 
The Question


When they finally nail a political criminal, you want the stinking
corpse hung round the neck of his party.

A hurry, too, since Media, bribed in some fashion, won’t give
the story wheels.

Much more frustration follows when your leaders resist
exploiting the situation! Why?

Well, elder finally explains, said criminal had dealings with
our side also.

Oh where oh where can I take my purity? inquire you of yourself--
in more unconscious language.

Nowhere.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

 
Girlfriends

G1
My biological clock was ticking so loud it was deafening. I couldn’t stand it!

G2
So took an icy shower and devoured chocolate?

G1
Screwed everybody.

G2
How fortunate the attack struck in Vegas.

G1
Indeed. I’ve resumed my role as Ice Maiden here.

G2
You like that role!

G1
I like both.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

 

The Deal At the Gate


SAINT PETER
Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Where YOU going, Buddy-Boy?

CANDIDATE
Self evident! Into heaven.

SAINT PETER
I don’t think so. Did you bring a tax return?

CANDIDATE
Nonsense! It’s about Faith and Good Works and Humility!

SAINT PETER
You can’t run anything without money. And you’re not worth enough of it,
whatever your disposition.

CANDIDATE
But I implore you...!

SAINT PETER
Implore-shimplore! Stick a fork in yourself. You’re done!

CANDIDATE
God help me! Is there...a purgatory, where I can...?

SAINT PETER
That’s a fable. How about you move your penurious tuchis to that elevator?
Take you down to a place where they’ll deep fry the shit you’ve eaten all your life. And, by the way, rotza ruck!

Friday, April 25, 2008

 
BUSH APPEARS ON GAME SHOW AS RATINGS HIT RECORD LOW*


Whose? Schlub’s or show’s?
At any rate, it’s all fun.

Like fraternal Yale so
richly-long ago:

the only reality
created in
games.


*Common
Dreams


------------

Labor Market

Click on BBC round 6AM &
there trots long fellow
in short pants hoisting

Olympic torch. Lots of color
swarms: Cops in yellow
fluorescence, upholders
enveloped in red flags. Pro-

Tibeters with theirs. Chinese sym-
bol warders run alongside. All very

busy & civilized. Thugs
absent. Apply to USA or

Russia for beefiest
of these boys.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

 
At The Conservative Conference

Keynoter tags liberal a “faggot”
to cooing titters & right-

eous adoration. Others churn,
later, that such a sleazy sidebar
detracts from astounding-

ly profound ideas
& their equally grave purveyors.

&, of course, from the Pooka.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

 
Rocco and TV Angie

ROCCO
These old generals on TV are pumped by The Pentagon and bribed by
Merchants of Death.

TV ANGIE
I see them all. Who doesn't know that? Most everybody on the TV News
is bribed one way or the other.

ROCCO
Not a pretty picture.

TV ANGIE
I'm thinking of getting 50 inch HD, throwing away all the old sets.

ROCCO
You're jammed into one little room in your grandmother's house!

TV ANGIE
So? I can put it on the wall. Not like these projection monsters.

ROCCO
Wanna see the individual hairs on all the pigs?

TV ANGIE
Something like that.

ROCCO
Get a girlfriend!

TV ANGIE
I had one but she didn't like TV.




Monday, April 21, 2008

 
Depraved & Patriotic

Times reporting TV
military analysts buttered

by Pentagon, then extensively re-
spread as drastic needs for happier
news arose in Iraq. At any rate,

care has to be taken by butterees:
said “anal-

ysts” also representing Arms
Trust for a few dollars more.
Ah Patriot Hearts! Swollen

even further
where a buck

can be harvested from
the blood of youngsters!

Sunday, April 20, 2008

 
Lucky

I live on a river
which of present
is gold and purple

coins under descend-
ing mists. This, just

one form of its
beauty.

Sometimes I’m busy
and it speaks. Look at me
you dumb fuck! I’m beautiful.

And I do.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

 
Something Called Mainstream Media

might have fired its last shot Wednesday.
A presidential debate, so-called, being

forced to weave its way through disgust-
ing 3rd grade inanities. Oh! protest

the questioners in defense, we
have to force a candidate to define
himself, herself. Let them speak

to what the country faces and
their proposed solutions. In
the course of such we’ll

garner personal definition enough!--
not having been born, as the media
apparently scoffs, yesterday.

This MSM is the same that couldn’t fix lips
to George Bush’s ass fast enough in the run-
up to the phoney war. Their amorous smacks
still ride the fetid air. Ah Corporate Love!

Let us hope we can hear from the candidates,
not explaining a grammar school friendship,

or little flag pins so popular with the “patriots”
who gladly shed your son’s and daughter’s blood
for money, or whether once was said I took a shit,
meaning I took a ship.

Friday, April 18, 2008

 
Company of Iraqi troops abandon
Sadr City positions after attack*


We just can’t get these Olive-
Colored Boys to die. Per-

haps if we tried them with God
Bless America in Arabic? (&

they could substitute their
Allah deity if they so wished.)

Ah the White Man’s Burden!
Placed there by God thus
we must rejoice.

*Yahoo News

Thursday, April 17, 2008

 
The Political Crisis

-The public is demanding...!

-The public isn’t demanding a fuckin thing, and if it did, it’d have no fuckin
idea what it was demanding.

-But even in The Post this morning...

-Well there you have it. Those who feel they somehow represent the public,
or their protoplasmic gripes, are clambering over the expected rungs.

-But, many media are in our corner.

-Paid help. Chambermaids. Some of the pasty males even look like chambermaids. Wide-hipped queers.

-But we don’t really pay...?

-Just a few directly. Others in favors and flatteries. At any rate,
like a child is pushing a pile of plates at us: at a certain point
we must stop him.

-Sounds menacing.

-It might come to that, but we’ll diffuse this angry time with a commission.

-And they’ll get to the bottom of things?

-They’d better not. We have a cadre to choose from. Some have little brands
for independence. Uh huh?

-I sense a whitewash.

-It won’t seem that way, and the final report’ll be beautifully written.

-Does that make a difference?

-All the difference in the world. We stand for art in this way.

-Oh?

-Greasy, sleazy slobs make something beautiful.

-More beautiful than truth.

-Anything is more beautiful than truth.

-Truth is politics in drag.

-I wish I said that. And I’ll claim I did.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

 
Boys On the Right


-Two beers for two queers!

-Thank you. I’m honored to sit at this famously powerful kitchen table.

-Somehow, you don’t quite look thus. Worried a little bit.

-Doesn’t it ultimately get you that the party rants on about the likes of us?

-How many Republican shindigs have you been to in this town?

-Couldn’t count.

-Even been treated except with graciousness and respect?

-No, but...

-No buts. The rest is manipulating the rednecks. If I’m asked to help with
that I will.

-I can’t help but think there’s a betrayal in that.

-Gimme back that beer! Faggot!

-Just kidding I hope. This is good stuff.

-Belgium. Ten bucks a bottle.

-I’m graced!

-Betrayal! Shit! As if we haven’t betrayed somebody or something in every fuckin seamy chapter of our life. And not seamy because it’s queer.
Just plain seamy.

-Maybe so, but, that’s the past. How about those better angels Lincoln speaks of?

-Send them to some asshole Divinity School. Besides, angels pretty asexual. I gotta get fucked once or twice a day.

-On average?

-Yeah. On average. Right now I’m a machine gunner!

-I’ve got a man.

-Relax. I’ve got legions!

-Could be sad. One, you can talk to.

-No time for that. Gotta work this frenzy out.

-For the good of the party?

-That too. But, hey, it’s a big tent! And it’s good to meet those
you’ve fucked.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

 
The Bill

SENATOR
I can’t understand all this technical shit! That’s for the queer-o-nerds!
How am I supposed to vote on the whole fuckin mess?

ASSISTANT
You’re against it. Word came from way on high.

SENATOR
Well I always listen! But I need talking points. Face-time on Wolf Blitzer scheduled right after the vote.

ASSISTANT
We’re sneaking in Exxon-Mobil guy to give you those.

SENATOR
Dressed as a woman?

ASSISTANT
That was another administration.

SENATOR
Boy were they a fuckin bunch of crooked sleazebags!

ASSISTANT
(whisper) Takes one to know...

SENATOR
What was that?

ASSISTANT
I was going to say. Takes one like you, a straight-talker with your famous
built-in shit detector to...!

SENATOR
Uh huh? Well my shit detector is kicking in at present.

ASSISTANT
Truly Sir, I...!

SENATOR
Don’t apologize. I expect treachery all round and I’m rarely disappointed.

Monday, April 14, 2008

 
Founders Day

-I tried not to go on too long. And keep my speech to actual experience,
not hogwash theory.

-I liked that part, Sir, but I’m afraid I find myself in opposition. I’ve signed on
to help those pygmies your farming operations displaced.

-That’s progress. Nobody can stop it. We have excellent relocation programs
down there, though. We’re supporting those little folks, really!

-They’re starving. It was in the Times.

-Left! Left views. Simply not true.

-That’s not my only source. But excuse me, Sir, I’m being rude. You’re here to get your award and I should not even begin to rain on your parade. Forgive me.

-Thanks for your interest anyway. I’ll make a cell call and straighten this out
toute suite !

---
-Jenkins! Goddamn you. I was hung out to dry here! Tell me why I’m not feeding my jungle niggers!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

 
The Beautiful Woman with the Capturing Hair

will be thrice divorced at least.
At times she’ll live fairly at ease

with her beauty, being all
the more lovely then,

and at others use it,
making sure her hair

is struck by lights,
at fluid moments,

laughing musically. Yet
it’s not a happy music,

really, driven by restless-
ness, ennui, her
nerves edged

at entrances.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

 
Following Chicago Cubs

Pennsylvania Turnpike Rest Stop, King of Prussia–last before Philadelphia

DAD
Glad you’re back, Mother. We hafta point our noses other way. Radio says our beloved Cubs in Pittsburgh, not Philadelphia. Just a jiffy trip.

ATTENDANT
It’s a big state, Sir!

MOTHER
I waited and waited to pee. It’s incompetence here.

GRANDMA (from back seat)
We know big states. Prairies! When it snows you see nothing. Nothing!

ATTENDANT
That’s thirty-four sixteen, Sir.

MOTHER
Give him a good tip, Honey. They’re stupid here and it...

GRANDMA
ain’t their fault!

Friday, April 11, 2008

 
Funeral Dialog

-What was that Dad muttered when the troopers handed him the flag?

-“Died for a load of shit!”

-Well...he’s not himself.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

 
Progress Is Being Made In Iraq

Hard to see
when your
asshole

progresses
through your mouth

courtesy of roadside bomb. So
everything’s point of view, yes?
Except patriotism of course.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

 

I Think They Call It The Crawl


Down here in Florida TV
stations run a banner atop

the screen warning against
menacing atmospherics:

The Weather Bureau has issued
a tornado watch for the following counties:

I think it a good idea and one
with political application.

Thus with interviews or discussions:
This Legislator is in the pocket
of the following corporations:


Tuesday, April 08, 2008

 
Rocco hangs out in South Philadelphia. Search in this blog for
his other encounters.

Rocco With Middle Vinnie, the Baker

M VINNIE
Now they got Sons of Iraq on our side. I guess they’re really something!
(Slapping a large ball of dough) Hey? Hey?

ROCCO
How does a bullet in the back feel? A horrible searing, then to your knees,
then a sort of slow motion topple into the prenatal position.

M VINNIE
That’s when they dance around you in all the dirt and filth, but what the fuck,
you won’t really notice. Dim...

ROCCO
and Dimmer. Speaking of which, that’s one ancient black and white TV up there,
covered with flour and in clouds of flour.

M VINNIE
Medium the message here.

ROCCO
There’s McCain. He really IS made of boilerplate. Amazing!

M VINNIE
And General Petraeus. Wonder if he has stars on his jock strap.

ROCCO
Better be embroidered. Like his speech. Full of West Point managerial claptrap.

M VINNIE
He’s so full of shit he doesn’t know it.

 

Shelf Life Near Expiration–-2 Independents Converse



-Did you ever see such a gang of lying, thieving scoundrels? Under God that is?

-Well, not since Harding.

-Hey, Teapot Dome was the ladies’ singing society next to this multitudinous
mess of larcenous frauds.

-They do like war, and wearing flag pins in lapels.

-Yeah, that takes guts all right. Talking up patriotism as Uncle Bert snares
the body armor contract...and kicks back.

-Cronyism never this bad. Ever!

-Hey it’s unrealistic not to expect some, but the Irish beef-faced nephew
the Boston mayor put in charge of the Streets Department could at least
run the fuckin thing.

-And brawl with anybody even questioning him.

-Different world.

-Yeah. More open chicanery and fewer references to The Almighty.

-When each dies from this crop of Republicans, they’ll screw him
into the ground.

-As long as it’s under a flag canopy.

Monday, April 07, 2008

 
The Brokers

-When the Republicans came in I shouted “Lets make some
fuckin money!”

-But Market does well under Democrats.

-Yeah, but it’s fussy. Forms to fill out.

-None with Repubs?

-Nah! Steal Baby Steal! They put nitwit-hacks in charge of regulation.

-So Dems run things better and you can still profit mightily?

-True, but Repubs, as thieves, nestle right next to my icy heart!

-Or your icy prick.

-Same.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

 




Black Frost

The kiss beneath the driving
trees. From the jack-o-lantern
house the dread-

ful speeches of our others out-
wreathing in a cone.

Shadows harrowing the stones,
we dream ourselves in breath.



Saturday, April 05, 2008

 
Roy Underhill,Craftsman

Old Brit farmers wished rough
work from carpenters.

“Won't pay for fancy!”

Raw mind wants raw.
Unfinished,unfinished.

Friday, April 04, 2008

 
Historical Fiction

The pirate ship weighed anchor, with Captain Blackheart
being rowed ashore to implore the Governor General for help.
“Booty is down,” he began...

Thursday, April 03, 2008

 
Classes At War

Plenty of rich folks
wants t’fight. Give
’em the guns.* Not

essential since
plenty of poor &

middle class folks
on offer instead.

(Cannon fodder such
an antiquated term.

But accurate.)
Rich favor danger

of flag lapel pins now.
Dr Johnson nailed such
patriotism. Wonder

how that knife tickles
the back of the neck &

can you hear your own
head plop the basket?

Flag pin undisturbed
at any rate. All videos
go XCU on it.

*Woody Guthrie

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

 

TONY MACHINE, THE MACHINIST


TONY MACHINE
I’m with Mama now. Last stop on the American Dream Line.

ROCCO
Where’s Rose?

TONY MACHINE
Who knows? It’s the skayty-eighth time she’s left me.

ROCCO
And the cottage in Cheltenham?

TONY MACHINE
Foreclosed. Bank sold it for 80 to Pakistani speculators.

ROCCO
And you paid?

TONY MACHINE
280.

ROCCO
Jesus! Who said banks were smart?

TONY MACHINE
Smarter than me anyways.

ROCCO
Our government is swooping in to help.

TONY MACHINE
I’m looking forward...

ROCCO
Them not you!

TONY MACHINE
Figures.

ROCCO
Thus was it ever.

TONY MACHINE
Well, I’m not underwater anymore.

ROCCO
No, you’re truly blessed having drowned. Father Anastasia should make you the subject of a sermon.

TONY MACHINE
I can’t hear! Have fuckin mercy, fuckin Rocco!

ROCCO
Entitled: Roundly fucked under God in The Greatest Nay-shun in the world-d-d-d-d-d-d!

TONY MACHINE
For the rich that is. Only they hear the echo.

ROCCO
You’re a learner at any rate.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

 

Bail Out and Future Question


ROCCO
Now that Fed is active partner of a Wall Street Brokerage, how much
will the big honcho get paid?

BILLY the BOOKKEEPER
100 mil or so, what with options, bonus. Ball park. Something close to that,
anyway. Thereabouts, as a rough...

ROCCO
Rough all right!

BILLY the BOOKKEEPER
Sorry I can’t be more precise.

ROCCO
Close enough for government work.
-----

Rocco is a S Philadelphia realist.

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