Friday, May 25, 2018
Plots
When a beautiful woman guffaws it ruins her lines, and plotted sweetness.
She must therefore sacrifice calling
men on crap!
Unless she settles for the Eve Arden role.
Not bloody likely!
We’ll inform those who are a better fit.
Place for everybody.
Labels: Battle of Sexes, Eve Arden, sexual role, truth telling
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
The Controller
-That Ratchel-Ann Romphe
will drive me up the highest
possible wall!
-There to say a few...
-Very few!
-And...?
-Plunge to my death sans women!
-Especially controlling ones!
-Curse! My White Whale!...and very
nearly as big.
-Ah hah! But she does you good too.
-Name one instance!
-She makes shy people grow some balls!
-That’s not an instance!
-Okay. When the dining room only had
orange juice?
-Which wrecks my stomach! Oy it does!
-She needled you until you got them
to stock Apple.
-Oh I would have fought that through
myself.
-Probably. And in slow motion. And...
many stop-frames.
-What’s always the hurry? How nervous
do you wanna get all the time?
-Anyway, lots of apples would remain
uncrushed!
-All right all right! Point taken.
-God sent her.
-Not enough is said about His triply
wicked sense of humor.
Labels: ;, Battle of Sexes, controlling, friends, identity, rationalization, shyness, timidity
Friday, July 28, 2017
Glimpsing a Long Relationship
-Purpose of Woman on this Earth
is to humiliate Man!
-Thank you so much for telling me.
-That’s it. Case closed.
-Here I’ve been frittering away at other
tasks and...
-Don’t worry about any of that. It’s in
your nature, also, to mouth a lot
of trivial shit. Endlessly!
-Can you give me a list? I’m going
for Sainthood.
-A bit late.
-The Rosary goes in a circle, so
I’m okay.
-ANYway! And important! The young
women in the office...call me Basset.
-After another hound?
-I’ve spoken to Dr Renzel regarding
a quick face lift.
-Go for it! Will stop the slobbering.
Labels: Basset Hound, Battle of Sexes, face lift, man, Woman
Friday, April 21, 2017
Approaches of Benham and Corky.
-Re this New Woman?
-Easy to understand. You make
everything whatchacallit? too
intellectual!
-Not a subject incredibly complex?
-Nah. She just does whatever the
fuck she wants!
-Which, once upon a time in the
West, was our prerogative.
-Is that PERogative or PRErogative?
-Pre. As in sovereign.
-Too bad. They're really pretty nice
when they purr.
-Kill some time whilst getting primed
to hatch sheer Hell!
-I just say “Yes, Dear!” then.
-Would that were sufficient!
Labels: Battle of Sexes, dialog, incomprehensible women, men, New Woman, overwhelmed men, Woman, women, women's prerogative
Sunday, April 24, 2016
Most Find Odd
Introducing an academic couple.
One so bizarre that their graduating
program in Linguistics has asked their
institution’s name not be mentioned.
Cliff and Mandy, their real names.
Hear them conversing, and you'll recognize
not word one!
They have invented a language and speak to
each other only in it.
Oh I think some English might creep in,
but I've not heard it.
At any rate, the language resembles most,
in feeling, that of Italian Gypsies, rich with
curses and insults.
I freely translate this last from Mandy
towards Cliff. "You remain a disgusting
pig from an equally disgusting sty!"
He responds in kind. This is their life.
My wife thinks they love each other in
this bent way. She's deluded!
They have the intellect to skillfully hate!
Well, they're getting up there, and feel
a responsibility to pass the language on.
So they're working on a web page.
It's under construction, she tells me.
“All of life is a web page under construction,
he laughs bitterly.
Then they turn on each other in their fierce module.
I feel excluded: their fondest desire.
Labels: academic, academic couple, Battle of Sexes, behavior, linguistics
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Newlyweds Quarrel
-I was cheerleader and he star quarterback.
Make of that what you will. You and hubby
laugh at everything anyway.
-Not this. Not him. He's a jock worshiper.
-Anyway we got married. Monster bash.
Then he was drafted into the pros.
That's a short story with an anti-O'Henry ending. Broke his leg in pre-season
and never could get back.
So he’s small college coach, now, and I work
for the dean. It’s okay. I like all the women there. Not usual with me.
But before all of that! Early matrimony proved
rocky altogether. And we had this one fight
I couldn't even describe. I mean everything
was on the table--and bleeding.
I told him if we were going to go on like that,
we should shoot each other. He left, hot!
When he came back--I thought because he remembered something especially
biting he forgot to...
-Oh oh!
-No! He dissolved in tears and begged forgiveness on his knees.
-And what did you conclude from...?
-They never really learn how to fight.
-I was cheerleader and he star quarterback.
Make of that what you will. You and hubby
laugh at everything anyway.
-Not this. Not him. He's a jock worshiper.
-Anyway we got married. Monster bash.
Then he was drafted into the pros.
That's a short story with an anti-O'Henry ending. Broke his leg in pre-season
and never could get back.
So he’s small college coach, now, and I work
for the dean. It’s okay. I like all the women there. Not usual with me.
But before all of that! Early matrimony proved
rocky altogether. And we had this one fight
I couldn't even describe. I mean everything
was on the table--and bleeding.
I told him if we were going to go on like that,
we should shoot each other. He left, hot!
When he came back--I thought because he remembered something especially
biting he forgot to...
-Oh oh!
-No! He dissolved in tears and begged forgiveness on his knees.
-And what did you conclude from...?
-They never really learn how to fight.
Labels: argument, Battle of Sexes, female, relationship
