Wednesday, January 24, 2018
Love and War
Gen and Austin pride
themselves on their
quirks.
Agreeing that two
neurotics
don't make
a true crazy.
But Gen has begun wondering
if they do.
Their last quarrel escalated
so, and the sex after was
rushed and awful.
Finally, Austin makes the
case for their sanity as
both refuse to die for the
“cause” in a war with
the dogpatch nation who insulted
our Executive and Congress.
Patriotism reputed to be
the last refuge of the scoundrel,
but our two
meretricious branches
cycling well past.
Labels: Congress, last refuge, last refuge of scoundrel, patriotism
Tuesday, December 26, 2017
Love and War
Gen and Austin pride
themselves on their
quirks.
Agreeing that two
neurotics don't make
a true crazy.
But Gen has begun wondering
if they do.
Their last quarrel escalated
so, and the sex after was
rushed and awful.
Finally, Austin makes the
case for their sanity as
both refuse to die for the
“cause” in a war with the
dogpatch nation who insulted
our Executive and Congress.
Patriotism reputed to be
the last refuge of the
scoundrel, but our two
meretricious branches
cycling well past.
Labels: Congress, couple, crazy, Dogpatch, Executive, meretricious, neurotic, patriotism, war
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
Pale Pride
Trump Chant
at GOP Congres-
sional Win
in Georgia?
Ja
Whol
y'
all!
Labels: Congress, GOP, Nazi, racist, White Pride
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
Awaiting the Bowel Imagery
-That Crimson T-Shirt Look ain’t cutting it on
my Gramps.
-Angry red on an Angry White? What message?
-Looks like a flaming brick, and the text: Her! AWP!
-And the awful Her in question?
-Darlene Smitts, Dem candidate for Congress.
-Okay then, so, and I’m guessing: Block her?
-Bingo!
-And...AWP?
-Any Way Possible.
-Who came up with...?”
-Limbaugh and Hannity–-a co-production.
-Funded by Koch Brothers?
-What else?
-All for a local-yokel seat?
-No such thing in the New World of Cruelty Absolute!
-Can you say that in French?
-I’d prefer not to.
-Oh well, so what? Your Gramps can’t jerk off anymore,
so he’s got the Republicans.
-They got him. It’s pitiful.
-How about poor Grandma?
-Golf.
-More of a masochist she!
-Anyway, not just high-minded idiocy, because that same
Democrat Gal used to live next door to them.
-Uh huh? Displaying sarcastic scorn at that point in time?
-She and girlfriends with helicopter sounds. And silent-swooping
drone entertainment programs...sort of circular, arms extended.
Pretty in moonlight I must say! I recommend girl-giggles at
midnight to the sourest hater.
-Uh huh? Well, they had their fun, and now must deal with the revenge forthcoming from the Right-Certifiable!
-Can YOU make helicopter sounds?
-Of course but I...
-prefer not to. You must ENGAGE! In order to engage in political
life in Asylum-America!
-Well, anyway, God just can’t keep shedding his grace on the
Righteous Right. Too many murders ensue.
-Oh yeah? Well HE, and THEY, invite YOU to blow it out your ASS!
-All this way without one bowel image, and now this!
Labels: bowel, Congress, Democrat, drone, election, Hannity, helicopter, Idiot Right, Koch Brothers, Limbaugh
Monday, March 14, 2016
The Congressman and His Brother
-It's not that big a deal.
-Last year you screamed practically
C over C as to how it WAS!
-Times change.
-And what brought about...?
-Manna.
-Fell, did it?
-Copiously.
-And in the preferred form of cash?
-A thing of beauty!
-Yeah! In bushels! How can you live with yourself?
-Easier and easier.
-You're a disgrace to the family!
-Somebody has to be.
Labels: bribe, cash, Congress, Family, manna
Friday, February 19, 2016
Horse-Hoarse
-Inspector on rampage! She saw a horse rat.
-Hey, a government food operation. Why set
the bar high?
-My thoughts exactly!
-Besides, maybe she meant a rat with a gravelly
singing voice.
-Not as bad.
-Well, let’s hire a solid restaurant guy. I’ll write
the ad and you and I interview. Send the
congressional committee the top three.
-At that point, a congressman eases a retarded
nephew in!
-Thus was it ever? Were we the retarded nephews once?
-Bicklesnickles! Wozwerzers! Yopnoppers!
-That’s an answer. Or answers.
Labels: Congress, political job, rat, restaurant, retarded, vermin
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Defining the Movement, 2024
-I don't like to perversely brag,
but, in the Modern Era, nobody
steals like us!
-Grand Old Purloiners?
-You said it! The wimpy party tries...
-Incompetently!
-We're Masters of the Universe!
-The Congress?
-A Thing of Larcenous Beauty!
-Departments?
-The movements of a Symphony of Financial Chicanery!
-And, where the buck stops? President?
-Never stops, circulates. But in...
-this present Renaissance of Theft?
-He's Da Vinci and Michelangelo combined!
Labels: Cabinet Departments, Congress, Future Government, GOP, GOP Thieves, President
Monday, October 19, 2015
Wagging Benghazi,
Encore encore encore!
-Will Benghazi Committee go on as long as the
Afghan War?
-Where there’s a will...
-Just grilled female aide for five hours, I understand.
-Yeah, but just a Muslim.
-Part of the War on Women?
-The final hill is in sight!
-All intended to terrify the broads?
-More like infuriate! Don’t know but what we like
that better!
-Whichever. If the pretty little shoe fits...?
-We pay for those. Best to cut the credit cards in half!
-For starters. But...well, no end to the lessons they must
be taught!
-A duty. Sometimes painful, yet sometimes delightful.
-We get a blackeye, though God knows we’re broad-gauged!
Labels: Benghazi, broads, Clinton, Congress, Republican, shoes, slimy motives, War on Women, women
Wednesday, September 02, 2015
Requiring Hypocrisy
-So I’m to go 180 and blast my signature issue?
Which really represents us all! Our pride!
-Sorry. You owe. And we need you.
-For the Party? What kind of party goes back on itself?
Its hallowed, traditional word!
-One which survives.
-Well I won’t! I’ll go Third Party! Campaign on a bicycle!
The Last Honest...!
-We got a room where we scrap Don or Donna Quixotes.
-I can win!
-Uh huh? And another room for whoever helps you, your
Sancho Panzas.
-You’re exclusive in all else, but not in revenge!
-Hispanic Inclusion! Let’s welcome Spicks all to hell!
Labels: campaigning, Congress, Don Quixote, Hispanic, party, party line, Sancho Panza, Third Party
Monday, May 04, 2015
Hate Mail
Why Swirtzy received so much hate mail remains
a mystery. The hate was rarely directed at him
personally, but at every other target imaginable.
One group sought to destroy the Congress
at one explosive swoop. Another to destroy all
Congresses everywhere. Mostly from the right;
left lacks brio here.
No longer enough room in his mailbox,
so the apartment super gave the mailman
a duplicate key to Swirtzy's storeroom.
Heppy, the Super, declared it a fire hazard
soon after, and offered to load his pickup with
the hate and drive to a landfill.
That's when FBI and Homeland Security stepped in.
Evidence, and must be preserved. The storage room
was sealed, and Mrs Geddings had to give hers up,
moving her spare Hummel menagerie to her apartment.
Swirtzy was so bland, it was hard disliking him, but she
was an expert.
The hometown police drove him to the downtown
offices of both Security Guardians, and he was
grilled separately on the premise that there had to be
more to him than meets the eye.
There wasn't. Less. Their extensive sex questions
especially proved duds. He had none to speak of.
Lucy Hellickson, Lie Detector Operator, dozed. “I gotta
get married!” she told Agent Bellsome, “out half the
week got me whacked!”
Finally the agents labeled him HHN, Hapless,
Hopeless Nerd. Since they had thousands of
leads from his storerooms, they no longer needed him.
So they moved Swirtzy from the mail, with a new
name, to a glacial lake somewhere. He became
a watchman for an empty company that had
moved to Vietnam.
He has been offered a computer to email his
few chums from the old neighborhood, but
turned it down. He knows it would be flooded
by the crazies.
So, when not working, he sits and stares
into the blue lake.
How productive a stare is anybody's guess.
But that's the case with everyone.
Labels: Congress, hate, hate mail, Left, Paranoid Right, Right, witness protection
Thursday, April 23, 2015
The American Constitutional Monarchy
Hardly without bitter opposition from other families with
ancient claims, but the Holy Zollerns were picked to be
America's Royal Family.
The "Holy" came through a smattering of priests, ministers,
and even rabbis.
But the best recommendation consisted of a crop of
handsome wastrels.
From that, not ecclesiastics of course, a King would be chosen.
As it was. King Hogate, the initial ruler of the American
Constitutional Monarchy!
“Twenty-Second Century,” gloated Senator Bissing(OK)
“and we have finally finally arrived!”
Hogate, the greatest wastrel of them all, a former ski-surf bum,
instantly took the reins--and the women.
It didn't go well with the former.
"I'm ruling by whatchacallit, Divine Right! Constitution's
a shit-rag."
When a delegation from Congress protested, he made
them kiss his feet, and kowtow backwards from the throne
room. All shown on video worldwide.
And too much of a demeaning disgrace even for a royalist
congressperson.
The women especially disheveled and hysterical.
At this historical point, Senator Einhuss of Pennsylvania, toasted
at Washington's Turf Club, "Long live the King! The new one, not
this stupid fuck!"
But they really hadn't made adequate plans for succession, and the
competing royal families started up again.
Intolerable. The King himself vowed beheadings, but couldn't
take the time away from weed and women.
His Guard surrounded him with machine pistols, always.
Which they, following historical tradition, turned on him.
Thus the American Royalist Experiment lasted about a year.
In another one, most of that persuasion were assassinated,
fled, or converted back to shoddy democracy.
After all this Civil War chaos, The New American Republic
was instituted.
It proved the old one, with even more bribery.
Most of the remaining Royalists followed their money to Bermuda,
looking hairy-knobby-kneed in the national shorts.
The young king is mourned, eighteen international films being made.
The tragedy is being exploited on Ebay, daily auctions of royal souvenirs that individual legislators have put up.
“Don’t give a fuck,
turn up a buck.”
But many feel they’ve carried the Congressional Motto too far!
“May you live in interesting times! cursed Chinamen a million
or so freakin years ago,” rapped the Bitchy Bees, a female group
heading, thank God, to Mars.
Labels: Absolutest, America's Royal Family, American Monarchists, American Royalists, Bermuda, bribery, Congress, Democracy, Mars, rap, senate
Monday, January 12, 2015
Je Suis etc
-You’re Charlie, hey? According to your homemade-spotcho T-shirt. On yellowed
stock from the Eisenhower Administration, obviously.
-I didn’t wanna ruin a nice new one.
-And speaking of yellow, I seem to remember
Cheese-eating Surrender Monkeys from your
mouth to any fellow imbecile’s right ear!
-That was then and...
-AND! your staunchly patriotic approval of
french fries being renamed FREEDOM FRIES
in the Horrid Halls of Congress.
-this is now! Plus, that’s Hallowed Halls.
-I forgot. I wonder why.
-Don’t you have...whatchacallit...with the French?
-Solidarity? Only with their idiots.
Labels: Congress, freedom fries, French, Je suis Charlie, solidarity, surrender monkeys, terrorism
Wednesday, December 03, 2014
Dawn
Two Congressional Aides
-Still working on The Freedom Act?
-Unfortunately.
-What’s the holdup?
-Too many restrictions!
-Is it Fascism yet?
-The Republicans say so.
-And pray so.
Labels: Congress, freedom, Law, Republican, restrictions
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Newest Congressman
-Well you’re sent to make laws by
the party that says we have enough.
-I’ll work it out.
-You already SAY nothing beautifully. Just
a small step to DO nothing the same.
-Where’s the cash machine? I wanna
fuckin start!
Labels: Congress, do-nothing, Do-Nothing Congress, eloquence, making laws, Republican
Monday, September 08, 2014
Conferring on The Nation’s Business
The Congressman Listens With Gravity
-I got two talking points for your Meet the Press:
One, President too aggressive! Dangerous to
us and the whole freakin world!
Two, President a pussy! Just too timid for these
virulent times!
-Do I alternate them?
-Hey! When the shoe fits...?
-And when it doesn't?
-Jam it on!
Labels: bizarre politics, Congress, contradiction, insane politics, Meet the Press, paradox
Friday, September 05, 2014
The Land of Class Up the Ass
should jettison the Free
and Brave shit.
O wouldn’t the Rich
be sorely miffed?
& their patriot lackeys
and bought Congress!
Labels: bribery, class, Congress, free and brave, free and brave nonsense, inequality, patriot, rich
Monday, July 07, 2014
Civics Lesson
Two “Representatives”
-Big Maha gonna govern by Executive Order then?
-They never leave without an egregious power grab.
-Fucking the Constitution thereby!
-Instead of waiting their turn.
Labels: Congress, Constitution, Executive Order, power, power grab, President
Monday, May 19, 2014
"Work"
Lift That Bale!
Like most Americans
I’ve worked
hard,
or fled.
Former not quite matching
Larry the Plumber of
a hundred-degree day
wrestling a water heater
through a dogshit
crawl space.
Presently under back treatment
from Dr Trellsor, he will
man the tiny office
and dispatch his guys. Now
time to watch BENGHASI REDUX.
There he might detect
how hard legislators toil,
telling each other of it, oil-
ing over party lines
to do so. Sighing
at the end.
Work.
Hard.
Uh huh?
Labels: Benghazi, Congress, self-congratulatory, work
Friday, May 02, 2014
Faith and Congress
Tap-Dancing in the House
-You came here an indifferent Christian.
-Comic-book version of Bible in my office.
-Then the Evangelicals steamrolled the party in your state.
-And The White Flame of Faith has shot from my ass ever since!
-How could you do it so fast? Metamorphose like that?
-Called Method Acting. Brando taught me. And Cockroaches.
-Uh huh? And what if by some Kafka-esque miracle, the whole
shebang turned atheist?
-Need you ask? God wouldn't bless our work, but who gives a shit?
-That last phrase encapsulates your service.
-Something has to.
Labels: atheist, Bible, Brando, cockroach, Congress, Evangelicals, faith, hypocrisy, Kafka, Metamorphosis
Monday, October 07, 2013
Important Coffee Shop
New and Old Congressman
-I know you paid the last time too, but (turning
his pockets inside out).
-No sweat! Soon be lined.
Labels: bribery, Congress, wealthy legislators
