Sunday, January 20, 2019
No Fool Like
-Let me apologize for this
Bag of Wrinkles! Really
accelerated this past year.
-Seen worse.
Laconic, Shelly Rust Newcolme, RN.
Not so someday, when she hisses
“You’re just sizzling this time!”
But now, they recheck meds.
Labels: fantasy, meds, Old Age, patient, sex
Friday, October 05, 2018
Elder Wisdom
“But the ONE way of doing it!”
insists Grandpa.
Several, actually.
Grandma chimes in with
“And leave Women’s Work
to Woman! Everything fine,
then.” Oh well, they hold
the shaking corner
on quaintness, anyway,
and cookies!
And when they finally,
finally die, we’re old
enough to plug each
other into The Cavalcade
of Stupid.
Labels: age and experience, Old Age, set in ways, stereotypes, stubbornness
Wednesday, August 29, 2018
Knife Shop
-A complete workshop of plastic surgery,
cuts and pastes and trickeries, has moved into my apartment building. I do believe a titty reduction is my pretty future!
-Good! Because you never wash that
training bra. Typical male filth!
-And a Ball Lift after that.
-Just one? Or can’t find the other in
all the residual old fat?
-Hmmm? Maybe Dr Quick-Knife should
excise that latter first?
-Step one of so many...but STOP!
-Whyso?
-Cease and desist! I’m telling me.
For going along with your macho
self-ridicule implies that you’re
still a man.
-I’m not?
-Nah. You’ve reached the age
when it no longer matters.
-Not even fair game for brainless
ridicule anymore?
-No one gives a flying fuck!
-Why put it that mildly? Total mental
and physical mess...and respected!
Christ! Can I step back?
-No way! Reinforced wall!
-So I can be ever so slightly
amusing whilst no one attends?
That’s my very best till expiration?
-Pardon?
Labels: done, friends, macho humor, Old Age, plastic surgery, ridicule, self-ridicule
Friday, July 06, 2018
The Great Big Bonanza of Nothing
-Marcy and I wasted an afternoon helping Jerr remember what he forgot.
-A big deal?
-Nah, there are none anymore for him.
You reach a certain age…?
-So the two of you pretended?
-We’re used to it with each other.
-All of it sounds like Life is a Great Big
Bonanza of Nothing!
-Much less than that unless you
have friends.
Labels: acting, friends, men, Old Age, reality, relationship, women
Friday, February 09, 2018
Rowing
Apologies
for missing posts.
Chunk flew
from Memory. & roosts
elsewhere? So
Docs did the major tests
to brain, but all is “functioning”
there. For Senior, that is.
Minimally. Age-mates assent
with resigned chuckle
following incurious shrug.
Youngers? Hey! it’s
a Foreign Culture
of the Not-Quite-Dead
to them.
They’ve turned
the boat around
& row furiously
a-WAY!
Labels: brain scan, dementia, forgetfulness, maturity, Old Age, senior, youth
Sunday, April 23, 2017
The Small Box
Old was she but fairly chipper.
She led me on a tour of her attic.
"Just ancient junk!"
In tangles and jumbles and piles.
Innumerable newspapers and magazines,
both yellowish-brown.
On extremely stuffed, large floral,
furniture. Atop all that, arthritic rockers.
Walls held gummy photographs of people
looking continually surprised.
After a bit, I felt covered in dust myself.
Finally to a locked room in the eaves.
Very sparse and neat. Just a small table
holding a mini cigar box.
“A record here of the truly rational decisions
I made during a long life.”
“Not much?”
“An awfully small part of existence.”
“Well, yours.”
That set her a-cackle!
Labels: irrationality, junk, Old Age, rationality
Saturday, March 11, 2017
An Allegory On the Banks of the Nihilism
Funeral
-You’ve come the longest way.
-I get the Space Prize.
-Definitely!
-The time prize too. I’m the oldest.
-Years ago I’m was amazed that some crustacean
would say “That must be fifty years ago! He married the Flynn girl, younger one.” Way old men and women talked back then.
-Fifty? Each one the same.
-No highs or lows?
-Not really. Irons out.
-Anyway! We hafta catch up with every one!
Last time I saw you...!
-Let’s not bother. One boring year same as
another as I say.
-Is the right corpse in the box?
-God rest her soul...but from what?
Labels: boredom, death, depression, funeral, lack of spirit, Old Age
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Judging the Reply
-As an old man, may I answer?
-Please do.
-Wit and warmth, and the sheer comfort of having around!
-Please do.
Labels: ageism, Old Age, old man, prejudice, youth
Sunday, July 03, 2016
The Diverse Couple
Some women, some things never get old.
Reps never looked into that famous mirror
of course. If he did, it would proclaim
HIM the fairest of them all...in the equity
meaning of that term.
How to be fair to all! obsessed his life.
His friends were racists. No matter.
He worked on them constantly, drawing
out concessions from even the hardest-core
hater.
His Laurel was fair enough. Really didn't think
much of major issues. Her signature utterance:
“I want a big cock!”
Sending girlfriends into hurricanes of laughter!
Always. New to them each time she said it.
He was normal in all respects, even dully so.
The other married women were red-faced-
pleased after her famous phrase.
A popular couple. He joined the church, and
she went along.
Though, "Why bother? You're holy enough!"
Feminism tried to throttle her, then pin her
down. But "What's the fuss? I get what I want!"
That's the picture. Unchanging. Unchanged by
kids, too, since they decided no.
The years...! Well, did what years do.
They're in Bide-a-Bit now, one of the cottages.
Lovable eccentrics, to Dotty Heller, RN, who drops
by once a week.
She’s so professional that Laurel never pulls her
big cock line. Reps bit crotchety, feeling the
younger generation resigned to chewing ashes.
Labels: equity, fairness, feminism, Old Age, sex, unique couple
Saturday, October 24, 2015
The Pretty Memory
"I think of her every day of my life!" Flannery went on
detailing her hair and eyes, and quite tiny foot.
“We couldn’t see each other that we didn’t flood into
each other’s arms!”
Needed Flood Control in those Irish Villages! -from Larks.
"I’ve had romance,” cried Nellie-Dru. “It’s great for humiliation!”
Bert added “Amen Amen I say to you that when a man or
woman so incline, that’s the way they do. No help for it!”
“That’s an incline up to hell and down to rocks!” Nellie-Dru was
certain, but Flannery told her that her images always lack logic
and contradicted themselves.
“Viva contradiction!” Larks shouted.
Flannery said that he may be an old fool, but they‘re young ones!
Nellie-Dru snapped “You don’t convince anyone. You’re really
always Crabapple Jones, no matter the pretty memories!”
“Well, I’m grumping away for the nonce.” Every afternoon, he
looked to see Deirdre again. Though she’s an old lady who
probably stays in Ireland.
No one resembled her in Barnes and Noble, but a Jennie intrigued.
She was learning to stock shelves under the tutelage of one,
Mickey-Mac.
“I’m retired, but the pension buys few skittles,” she remarked to him.
Flannery pretended interest. She had the hair like his beloved, though
dumpy otherwise.
He engaged them through a discourse highlighting how difficult
it is to learn a new task. “And then one day everything clicks!”
Mickey-Mac, first puzzled, nodded.
She smiled uncertainly, but seemed reassured.
Anyway, they both took an instant like to him. No wonder!
When old crabs dial up the charm, it’s a miracle ranking
with Loaves and Fishes.
Labels: Barnes and Noble, books, friends, Irish, memory.love affair, Old Age, Romance
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Involving Incident
THE BLUFFS CHRISTIAN HOME
Homer Shnitzman, MD
Delbert Hans, MD
Loretta Menton-Hale, MD, PhD
Two Orderlies:
-Nothing ever happened on my vacation before.
I caught a break!
-Surprised the news never penetrated the Poconos.
-Only Panic-Weather TV there. STORM OF THE CENTURY!
-Well, anyway, one of our ninety year olds grabbed
a young girl visitor. He “sprung” from Supply Room.
-Did she escape The Fate Worse Than Death?
-By kicking him in the balls, hard and repeatedly.
-Ouch, I think–-whatever is left of that shrunken package,
at any rate.
-Shnitzy wants us to sign on to new, ever-watchful regulations.
-Even if good sports crap on TV?
-That new lady Doc said the old fart had “reverted to Pure Male!”
-Did he now? Something in the water? That one’s a snip!
-The Church has declared her husband a martyr.
-Not shocked.
-What if...one of our women reverts to Pure Female?”
-Much more serious!
-Too Scary!
-God wouldn’t let it happen.
Labels: Alzheimer, dementia, doctors, God, men, mental hospital, Old Age, orderly, women
Tuesday, December 09, 2014
Moments Ignored
Ev and Betsy
-That father of yours and the life he’s led. You could strike a
match on his nose!
-He’s a hard one. Bulletproof.
-And yet he bursts into tears at Thanksgiving Dinner!
-What was that all about? I was at the other end of the table.
-He was reciting some stupid children’s poem.
-Which one? Do you remember any of the words?
-I wasn’t listening.
-Is that Old Age? You finally put your heart out there, and
nobody gives a shit?
-All Age.
Labels: children's poem, emotion, Family, Old Age, revealing, Thanksgiving
