Monday, December 03, 2018
Senior Perspectives
-Where I live now, greatness
is measured by the ability to shit.
-As valid an index as any!
Labels: bowels, Health, senior
Friday, February 09, 2018
Rowing
Apologies
for missing posts.
Chunk flew
from Memory. & roosts
elsewhere? So
Docs did the major tests
to brain, but all is “functioning”
there. For Senior, that is.
Minimally. Age-mates assent
with resigned chuckle
following incurious shrug.
Youngers? Hey! it’s
a Foreign Culture
of the Not-Quite-Dead
to them.
They’ve turned
the boat around
& row furiously
a-WAY!
Labels: brain scan, dementia, forgetfulness, maturity, Old Age, senior, youth
Sunday, June 14, 2015
The S*x of R*bots
-Well, we finally got the Department Robot writing all
the software!
-Which leaves us squat to do!
-Hark! I hear Management Robot sharpening
his ax.
-Lance. We’re to be run through.
-Not I! said the little red hen.
-Rooster, rather.
-Once upon a time. Anyway, Gert and I pulling
the trigger soon on a little three-bungalow
outfit in the Adirondacks. Live in one and...
-...rent the other two to seniors farting their
way into the actual sunset?
-One. The other reserved for Honeymooners
fucking their way to Early Primate.
-No thanks. Besides, I’m not worried. I think the
Robot loves me.
-Terrif! Will work out the way for you it would
with a human man.
-Man? Thought it was a woman.
-Hey, pick your sex, or exact gradation therof.
We’ll stick a module in!
-I’d like him-her wild!
-Done!...when high minds get horny...
-Don’t finish that! Let me show it!
Labels: Adirondacks, high minds, honeymoon, horny, priimate, programming, robot, robotics, senior, sex
Friday, May 29, 2015
Brightening a Suburb
So, making strides.
Sensation of the platform!
In an orange leisure suit, bell bottoms wider than the world!
What I got out of him--and it wasn’t easy-- laundry workers had struck, and this is what he had left.
What I got out of him--and it wasn’t easy-- laundry workers had struck, and this is what he had left.
I pulled the Benz into the garage.Thank God for tinted windows!
Left him. I still had vital business via cell.
What the hell! He had a TV, and picnic leftovers in the spare frig.
Jeanette stormed back around ten from her law job, totally pissed.
She’d hop upstairs with a pitcher of Manhattans.
And, be snoring in no time.
But...the snoring came first from the garage! Had forgotten the vodka punch on the frig’s bottom shelf!
Lemon slices, only, left.
Way it goes.
When Noppie gets home from Chick-Fill-A shift, I have him pour Orange Grandpa into his shitbox and take him back.
Cost just ten.
Labels: fast pace, grandparents, senior, suburb
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Instruments
Only ten or so people in the world can actually "play" the Feldsmurr.
He's one, and another moves into his condo complex.
He has never seen her at The Exotic Instruments
Convention. So, a mystery.
She takes to playing it at the pool, and acquires
some fans.
They request Sinatra melodies, but forget that!
You can start with something someWHAT recognizable, but the Feldsmurr goes wild then.
Makes you improvisational despite yourself.
An acquired taste, but her fans remain faithful.
She has a pretty nice body, and is tolerant of the
various seedy-senior Romeos hanging out there.
So, he becomes one. You never know.
Right now you're saying: "Why don't they just play duets on the damn thing?"
Impossible! Two of these instruments produce sour chaos, even in expert hands.
Things go well at the pool, and they have a date tonight.
Where he'll show her his Feldsmurr, and whatever else.
Labels: exotic music, love, Music, senior, senior sex, sex
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Sr Stroll
Christmas is coming,
The goose is getting fat.
Let’s put a penny
In the old man’s hat!
sings Chuppie.
We’re walking down nighttime, like daylight! Broadway.
-Won’t let them stick a penny in my hat, Chups!
-There’s a broken heart for every light here!
-Nothing to us. Used up our quota.
Labels: Broadway, broken heart, elderly, lights, quota, senior
Saturday, May 03, 2014
Question As Bizarre As Most
-Every other Blue Moon, we get a wedding
between two nearly spent duckies at Bide a Bit.
TV offers them up as "cute."
-At that age, each must hold all kinds of sins
and guilts. And secrets!
-Sure! If both pure, why bother marrying?
Labels: retirement community, senior, senior romance, wedding
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Seasoned Medical Complaints
-(shouts) Don't say hello again! Put the phone to your good ear!
-Hello? Oh, I don't mean that. I'm hearing you loud and clear.
-Which practitioner are you complaining about today? Obviously
not an ear person.
-Never mind! I'm seeing the Cancer Impresario at four. I'll let
you know what he slices off with his laser.
-Can't wait. You know...even at your age people develop
interests, hobbies?
-I should fly little airplanes down Lincoln Road?
-Anything! Spare me the medical bore. On and freakin on!
-Hey! What can I say? It's my whole life!
-Why don't you have a party for the Big-C Billionaire, the Dermo,
the Dentist, the...
-I get the idea. But I'm not treating them, they're treating me!
-Humor! Lame, but valiant try from one nearly dead.
-All from Miami Beach, and I'm not even Jewish.
-Too bad. Then there'd be a tradition behind your abject misery.
A tremendous folklore from Russia and Poland. Artists who
translate tragedy to fiddles. And, add the thumping comedic
record coming down from the Yiddish theater.
-Okay! Okay! So there's nothing behind me except a succession
of sour and icy Puritans.
-Broke THAT tradition at least! You'll die doing it.
-As long as I can find it. I...tied a string!
-By God you’re laughing! Laughing!
-That's why I call you!
-I should go on the medical and psychiatric payroll.
-No room.
-I’ll serve for a dollar a year.
-Fifty cents!
Labels: Cancer, complaints, death, doctors, medical, medical conditions, senior, sex
Friday, March 21, 2014
In the Museum of Elderly Sex,
one room labeled Grotesques.
Can be imagined, but not fully.
Further charge, so seniors grouse. Ex-
pected, of course: they do pay.
Labels: senior, senior sex, sex, sex museum
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Dealing, In the Final Analysis
The Leaving of It
-It's done with dignity. The law doesn't require it, though.
We have a little party, with speeches from the close relatives.
Who shortly leave.
-And then, Honorees shot?
-Exactly. Hey, eighty-five is enough years! We're saving billions!
It was cut the Military or...this.
-Surprised the near and dear go along with it.
-They can claim them as dependents for six years more.
-Wise incentive.
Labels: dependent, Euthanasia, Family, incentive, killing old, medicare, senior, Social Security, taxes
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Refusing to Join the Circus
-Put her foot down? When did she pull it up?
Closer in, Carl went at Dorothy.
-Your father warned me you were a mule, and he's
been proven right!
-Who's disputing? I'll remain the mule on this one.
-Ruck and Dilly get a check for a thousand each and
every month! What do we get from our stinkin bank?
-Very little. But at least we're holding on to what
we got.
-Okay okay, then just do me this favor. Let’s read
the stuff together again and...
-No use. I still won't understand it.
-Well nobody does, completely. So what?
Can you understand a check for a thousand
each and every damn month?
-Till it stops and they close all the phones
down?
-Now that's just nonsense! Why Reverend Chuck
and Brother Buster even mentioned it in the
church newsletter.
-Well that's a disservice to Jesus.
-Oh stop it! Join the Twenty-First Century!
Carl awfully hurt when they arrested Reverend Chuck
and Brother Buster at a service. FBI overreach
to be sure! Lawyer Hoddings thought they'd only
get a couple of years each as very minor players.
The leaders were on the run, leaving mansions
full of fancy paintings and all.
The worst thing he ever had to do was tell
her she was right. But wasn’t he just trying to...?
Labels: Ponzi.religion, senior
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
New Chrysler 9000 self drove to his office
Was telling friend Larry of the best parts of
deal, but kept tripping up or forgetting.
"I’m ready for Bide a Bit!" he blurted. Referencing
the county’s old persons home, now privatized.
"Haven't called it that in years. Now it's
Sunset. Slang once was Republicans Emeriti,
when the county was suffocatingly Right."
“Well let me enjoy my 9000 before...!"
“Selection Robot comes after YOU?”
“I heard it's all robots up there.”
“Just about. They slide you outa bed and rip off
your pajamas. Clamp you into wheel chair which
joins others in a radio-controlled pilgrimage
to a huge bath where all are dumped."
"Male and female together?"
"What's the difference at their age?"
“Then dressed by the same robots, and off to breakfast?”
“Exactly. Joke last week was they jammed a Dogpatch
print dress on some grandpa.”
“Why is efficiency a comedy?”
“Always has been.”
Was telling friend Larry of the best parts of
deal, but kept tripping up or forgetting.
"I’m ready for Bide a Bit!" he blurted. Referencing
the county’s old persons home, now privatized.
"Haven't called it that in years. Now it's
Sunset. Slang once was Republicans Emeriti,
when the county was suffocatingly Right."
“Well let me enjoy my 9000 before...!"
“Selection Robot comes after YOU?”
“I heard it's all robots up there.”
“Just about. They slide you outa bed and rip off
your pajamas. Clamp you into wheel chair which
joins others in a radio-controlled pilgrimage
to a huge bath where all are dumped."
"Male and female together?"
"What's the difference at their age?"
“Then dressed by the same robots, and off to breakfast?”
“Exactly. Joke last week was they jammed a Dogpatch
print dress on some grandpa.”
“Why is efficiency a comedy?”
“Always has been.”
Labels: convalescent home, Dogpatch, future, Lil Abner, robot, senior
Saturday, September 01, 2012
Bide a Bit, 4AM, Male Corridor
-Hope I’m safe here in the boys’ section.
My lady nodded back off and I hadda
walk somewhere!
-I’m waiting for Dribbling Pete in there.
-One...last drop. I think he’s done.
-No way. He got ten dancing minutes left.
Meanwhile, how’s it going? Especially your
sex life?
-Same old boring shit...and THAT went!
They’re kissing as Mr_____emerges,
fumbling at his pajama fly. He sees nothing,
but curses generally.
Labels: convalescent home, senior
Saturday, April 07, 2012
Location
Elsewhere, cops cut
oldsters breaks, pro-
moting a back-down, say,
from the neighbor in
the silliest dispute that
world-millisecond. But
this is Florida. Criminals
retire here too, keeping
a hand in. So a ramble
after wildflowers through
wealthy precincts
might be innocence,
or casing, so questions
asked, patrol cars impinging
with spinning red lights.
Drivers-by shake gray, respect-
able heads at the florid scene.
Labels: Florida, Florida criminals, senior, senior criminals
