Saturday, March 05, 2016
Short in a Matter
Sully and Gronk
-You're incompetent in the area!
-Add an s. Areas. I don't specialize.
-Agreed! But I'm interested in the one.
-Being an accountant. And narrow of mind.
Well, stop worrying. I get by financially.
-Never enough. The world swallows those who...!
-Look at me! Do I look swallowed?
-One step from the ditch.
-When I get there, will be the final one.
-Uh huh? Fatalism and Incompetence.
A defining pair.
-And what of grasping little you?
-Right with Money and God!
-The former is your God. No other need apply.
-No Irish need apply!...they said once.
-You're the Irisher. I'm just a stupid Polack.
-Thick as shit!
-I'll take anything to be thick as. Just so I'm
not thin as the drinks in here. Speaking of
which, did you ever think of buying one, or
indeed, any form of human charity?
-Not on the docket.
-Never chained to any nice custom?
-Perhaps if your girlfriend showed up.
Then the company would be worth it.
-She's due momentarily.
-I can't get over it. YOU'VE got a girlfriend!
And I, your superior in looks and intellect...
-Hit the bachelor floor when you pee. Women
teach us aim.
-You have no aims, none!
-Ah, but I have her! Worth her weight in your
desired gold!
-Then I should trade for one! I've got the...
-Ladies desire some smidgen of personality also.
-Where are you two...?
-The Flower Show.
-Fine! Aromas and pretty sights to forget
reality again!
-Wrong again. The flower show IS reality.
Thank whatever gods there be!
-Just another way to delay that inevitable
ditch.
-We're fighting it! And she's worth ten
times her weight in tigers!
-Can't be! You said gold.
-Both!
-Impossible!
-Come on along! Three's not a crowd mid
roses and zinnias.
-I'd rather die.
-And, we'll treat! To extract you, however
temporarily, from the prison of your thought.
-You said the magic word!
-Whatever costs nothing, you embrace. And!...
you'll meet a woman there, I guarantee.
-Yeah, but I'm realistic. Any young lady will
eventually be a small expense.
-Think of her that way. They love that!
Labels: accounting, bachelor, cheap, finance, Flower Show, friends, girlfriend, money
Thursday, August 08, 2013
Bits of Fate
On a Cyber Afternoon
It instructed “Click here to listen twice to the selection.”
Rappy misunderstood and clicked twice, and the screen
went black.
Then the message:
You’ve been had by
Mysterioso-Cyber-Excello.
But the Government as quickly intervened.
Your system is restored
and MCE arrested.
Then the questionnaire. Would you like him
a) jailed indefinitely b) lectured and let go c) executed.
Enough was enough. Rappy ticked c.
Then thought he’d been too hard, and endeavored to change his vote.
Nothing doing. They had strapped the miscreant
to a gurney, and injected hm with the latest fatal juice.
All channels covered it, even the Quilting one.
Which, also replayed it more than the others,
superimposed on a quilt.
Labels: accounting, cyber crime, hacking, punishment, quilt
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
I Don't Chase Every Buck
Time of receipts
asks accounting
I'm too cussed
to perform. Or
cussed lazy. But I'd
like monies I’ve
missed placed in a fund
for the poor. That'd be
my perfect age. Well,
in a perfect age, there’d
be no poor. Conservatives
adopt their usual hardeyed
view there too. Take the world
the way you meet it, then squeeze
whomever for a profit. Since
Christ ate with whores and thieves,
they never deign realistic company.
Labels: accounting, bookkeeping, Conservative, liberal
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Calliope
ACCOUNTANT-1
He must be our most infantile client!
ACCOUNTANT-2
Probably. How manifested this time?
ACC-1
He heard that GE has a 227-page return and got jealous.
ACC-2
How long his?
ACC-1
A mere 114, so he wanted to add pages of deductions.
ACC-2
Already Creative Writing. We mustn’t let it be turned into Farce.
ACC-1
I told him that the more we conferred, the higher our fee.
ACC-2
That stopped him?
ACC-1
His lawyers did. Told him he was ruining an
Ignorance Defense, if Justice came after him.
ACC-2
Which will never happen. Too big to jail.
But they could seek us.
ACC-1
Same defense. Our raft of brigands, aka the legal firm of
Allsiz, Belleer, and Rancini, gave us bum advice!
ACC-2
Why it's just a Carousel of Ignorance out here!
ACC-1
Accompanied by The Calliope of Greed.
ACCOUNTANT-1
He must be our most infantile client!
ACCOUNTANT-2
Probably. How manifested this time?
ACC-1
He heard that GE has a 227-page return and got jealous.
ACC-2
How long his?
ACC-1
A mere 114, so he wanted to add pages of deductions.
ACC-2
Already Creative Writing. We mustn’t let it be turned into Farce.
ACC-1
I told him that the more we conferred, the higher our fee.
ACC-2
That stopped him?
ACC-1
His lawyers did. Told him he was ruining an
Ignorance Defense, if Justice came after him.
ACC-2
Which will never happen. Too big to jail.
But they could seek us.
ACC-1
Same defense. Our raft of brigands, aka the legal firm of
Allsiz, Belleer, and Rancini, gave us bum advice!
ACC-2
Why it's just a Carousel of Ignorance out here!
ACC-1
Accompanied by The Calliope of Greed.
Labels: accounting, itemized deductions, tax return
