Saturday, March 05, 2016
Short in a Matter
Sully and Gronk
-You're incompetent in the area!
-Add an s. Areas. I don't specialize.
-Agreed! But I'm interested in the one.
-Being an accountant. And narrow of mind.
Well, stop worrying. I get by financially.
-Never enough. The world swallows those who...!
-Look at me! Do I look swallowed?
-One step from the ditch.
-When I get there, will be the final one.
-Uh huh? Fatalism and Incompetence.
A defining pair.
-And what of grasping little you?
-Right with Money and God!
-The former is your God. No other need apply.
-No Irish need apply!...they said once.
-You're the Irisher. I'm just a stupid Polack.
-Thick as shit!
-I'll take anything to be thick as. Just so I'm
not thin as the drinks in here. Speaking of
which, did you ever think of buying one, or
indeed, any form of human charity?
-Not on the docket.
-Never chained to any nice custom?
-Perhaps if your girlfriend showed up.
Then the company would be worth it.
-She's due momentarily.
-I can't get over it. YOU'VE got a girlfriend!
And I, your superior in looks and intellect...
-Hit the bachelor floor when you pee. Women
teach us aim.
-You have no aims, none!
-Ah, but I have her! Worth her weight in your
desired gold!
-Then I should trade for one! I've got the...
-Ladies desire some smidgen of personality also.
-Where are you two...?
-The Flower Show.
-Fine! Aromas and pretty sights to forget
reality again!
-Wrong again. The flower show IS reality.
Thank whatever gods there be!
-Just another way to delay that inevitable
ditch.
-We're fighting it! And she's worth ten
times her weight in tigers!
-Can't be! You said gold.
-Both!
-Impossible!
-Come on along! Three's not a crowd mid
roses and zinnias.
-I'd rather die.
-And, we'll treat! To extract you, however
temporarily, from the prison of your thought.
-You said the magic word!
-Whatever costs nothing, you embrace. And!...
you'll meet a woman there, I guarantee.
-Yeah, but I'm realistic. Any young lady will
eventually be a small expense.
-Think of her that way. They love that!
Labels: accounting, bachelor, cheap, finance, Flower Show, friends, girlfriend, money
Sunday, February 07, 2016
Short, But w/ Family Emotion
When Uncle Rack gave Bertsy a used laptop for college, he requested a Thank-You note practically instantly.
Phoned often, ostensibly to talk football, the university ranked.
Finally, drunk, both, Bertsy and roommate Ock, return laptop to sunporch.
“Thanx unc but decided to go cuneiform!” note avers
"Goddamn brat gotta lot t'learn!"
Labels: cheap, cheapskate, college, control, cuneiform, drunk, laptop
Monday, September 14, 2015
Oh How We Danced...!
Mr Cheap Solutions
had his daughter and her inattentive beau write
their own marriage ceremony, prompted in its
less-than-moving recitation on the great day by
a clergyman of approximate sobriety.
The reception catered by the latest immigrant group,
whose cuisine consisted of lumps of dough laced with
minced garbage.
Their native champagne tasted of burnt matches, but
effectively lit the guests, who danced furiously to a
half-gypsy band.
When the starving musicians broke to devour the
"food," flasks of sulfuric fruit liqueur were passed
around.
Anyway, It proved, all-in-all, our Cheapskate's Paradise!
Trifecta of inexpensive, gastric, and inebriated.
Okay okay! Just my point of view. One Academic Couple
pronounced it cultural and lovely and memorable!
Another trifecta! This time of the deluded. And what
would we do without them?
Labels: academics, ceremony, cheap, cheapskate, gypsy, immigrant, minister, trifecta, wedding
