Tuesday, October 23, 2018
More of the Same
Mr Hodding tells Clint that that this,
as all the houses, furnished with...
The Bronze Package.
“Yeah, The Bronze Package, pure GOLD!” wisecracks Clint’s Babette.
“She’s not happy unless she’s unhappy,”
explains he.
Hodding nods, then fishes in his case
for papers for Clint to initial.
Babette wanders off, explaining she’s
seeking another place to be ignored.
The men shrug since they’re all
like that.
Labels: female, girlfriend, housing development, male attitude, new house, personality
Wednesday, March 01, 2017
Many Awards
Enough was enough!
Mel told his Calendar Robot to
cancel all Tuesday’s appointments
and move them.
Done! With the exception of Tony’s
Italian Market.
There Mel himself had to phone,
repeating last week’s order.
But...didn’t sit right with Tony,
who liked to talk about things,
all things. The order a sidelight.
Certainly not to hear customers
nervously repeating themselves!
Somehow, his personality triggered
Mel’s original robot reinstating all
Tuesday’s appointments.
With the motto:
Days off are the Devil’s Playground
Mel had to confess his failure to
girlfriend Dorothea.
“Well I tried! The Disney One-Day Super Whamzoo will hafta wait.”
“Wait? What slaves best at!”
She overstated, and has been warned.
But she persisted.
LuAnn appointed new girlfriend, coming
with many awards.
Labels: days off, feminism, future, future of work, girlfriend, Slavery, statement and overstatement, women
Saturday, March 05, 2016
Short in a Matter
Sully and Gronk
-You're incompetent in the area!
-Add an s. Areas. I don't specialize.
-Agreed! But I'm interested in the one.
-Being an accountant. And narrow of mind.
Well, stop worrying. I get by financially.
-Never enough. The world swallows those who...!
-Look at me! Do I look swallowed?
-One step from the ditch.
-When I get there, will be the final one.
-Uh huh? Fatalism and Incompetence.
A defining pair.
-And what of grasping little you?
-Right with Money and God!
-The former is your God. No other need apply.
-No Irish need apply!...they said once.
-You're the Irisher. I'm just a stupid Polack.
-Thick as shit!
-I'll take anything to be thick as. Just so I'm
not thin as the drinks in here. Speaking of
which, did you ever think of buying one, or
indeed, any form of human charity?
-Not on the docket.
-Never chained to any nice custom?
-Perhaps if your girlfriend showed up.
Then the company would be worth it.
-She's due momentarily.
-I can't get over it. YOU'VE got a girlfriend!
And I, your superior in looks and intellect...
-Hit the bachelor floor when you pee. Women
teach us aim.
-You have no aims, none!
-Ah, but I have her! Worth her weight in your
desired gold!
-Then I should trade for one! I've got the...
-Ladies desire some smidgen of personality also.
-Where are you two...?
-The Flower Show.
-Fine! Aromas and pretty sights to forget
reality again!
-Wrong again. The flower show IS reality.
Thank whatever gods there be!
-Just another way to delay that inevitable
ditch.
-We're fighting it! And she's worth ten
times her weight in tigers!
-Can't be! You said gold.
-Both!
-Impossible!
-Come on along! Three's not a crowd mid
roses and zinnias.
-I'd rather die.
-And, we'll treat! To extract you, however
temporarily, from the prison of your thought.
-You said the magic word!
-Whatever costs nothing, you embrace. And!...
you'll meet a woman there, I guarantee.
-Yeah, but I'm realistic. Any young lady will
eventually be a small expense.
-Think of her that way. They love that!
Labels: accounting, bachelor, cheap, finance, Flower Show, friends, girlfriend, money
Monday, February 02, 2015
The Death of the Dancing Horse
saddened Murtha. When Luna dropped by after
the Women's Convention, he told her.
"Well, don't wallow! Find out everything about him.
His mother and dad, the early training. More you
know, better you feel. Too bad you're not a
woman: We're learning to be afraid of nothing!
But, let me do it for you! Faster. She sat at the
computer. After a few seconds, Luna snapped
"You idiot! Walter didn't die, it was his 'amusing'
horse, Rory. All performers are high-pitched so
they need a...”
“I feel better! Nothing against...”
“Rory? A great card! Well, he's in Horse Laugh
Heaven, and you're still a moron!” she laughed.
A horse laugh, really. It seeped into the bricks
and was twisted out at night by the cold.
He frequently awoke to hear it.
Oddly, when they lived together, he never woke
up at night for any reason. Her daylight antics
exhausted him.
His own computer search, after she left, led him to
The Horse Entertainment Network. But that
ghosted out on the screen, and a banner blinked
red to tell him to press the red button on his
cable remote to attain this HEN.
He did, but had to okay an eight dollar a month surcharge.
Unfortunately, what he got concerned a lot of chickens!
But then, Bill Haspell came on and explained they thought
the chickens would be clever branding, a la HEN! He apologized
for the glitch and introduced the new branding, featuring,
of course, horses.
Murtha had then to endure Horses of Australia,
however the extraordinary aerial views to begin with.
But then, blessedly, World Horse News and the lead
story of training another ‘card’ to replace the departed Rory.
The search process had been complicated during his illness,
for most horses with humor were also cynical and lazy.
Popped up again Bill Haspell, offering T-Shirts convered
with hens. Seven dollars each, three for Twenty, but only
available in XXXXXLarge.
Bought three for sleeping–-Murtha liked roomy comfort there.
Sarcastic Luna would never see them in this new scheme
of things. She had encouraged him to get another girlfriend,
that he'd be doing her a favor, that she’d never ever be
jealous, etc. He knew better.
Labels: Cable, dancing horse, girlfriend, horse, jealousy, relationship
Monday, June 02, 2014
Becoming Notified
Your new tablet chimes you alerts. Phils vs Mets,
each scoring play.
But a darker turn this moment at the hotel.
Delsey leaving you
Then the chimes in fairly rapid succession:
Girlfriend Mims in taxi
Picking out Delsey’s stuff from yours
Delsey claims she bought toaster oven
Given up on splitting goods
Mims says too much fuss anyway
Delsey says you’re not worth it
Mims agrees
Phones Two Vets and a Truck and will take it all
The chimes have lulled you, and Phils and Mets in
extra innings.
Howard home run wins it in 12 for Phils
Time to switch off.
Charge.
Labels: alerts, breakup, girlfriend, Howard, Mets, Phils, tablet, women
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Events Converging in Time–-just about
Extremes
“You're adorable!--all caps, triple bang.”
Racky walks to the bus stop after leaving this new,
assertive proofreader at her Honda Fit.
He tells the bright dummies in the storefronts how
he's adorable, singing it finally.
From the opposite direction flies ex-girlfriend,
Estelle, fisting a paper that's both fault inventory
and manifesto!
Labels: character, character faults, girlfriend, proofreading, relationship, women
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Most Youthful Curiosity
The Very Young Bride and
Her Younger Girlfriends
LIL
Is it wonderful, Jen?
ROSE
Tell us about it!
JEANETTE
At times, yes.
LIL
Then do tell us about THEM!
ROSE
Nobody ever pulls up the darn curtain!
LIL
That's cuz there nothing behind it!
JEANETTE
Is and isn’t
ROSE
You’d drive a saint crazy!
LIL
Two saints!
JEANETTE
Three.
ROSE
Do you drive yourself crazy, Jen?
JEANETTE
Doesn’t everybody?
Labels: girlfriend, girls, idealism, marriage, youth
