Thursday, October 27, 2016
The Passing Parade
-What's it like to get really old?
-Overwhelming. Things you
squirts take in stride.
-Oh yeah? Then I need more
practice, such as the hole
I work in is moving to Indonesia.
-Givebacks didn't work?
-We stopped with wives and children.
-Then why not go to Indonesia? That forty
cents an hour really stretches there.
What do they eat anyway?
-I don't know, but not enough.
-Hey! Better yet, take fifty here in hard
negotiation, and the vaunted Capitalists
will stay!
-Best idea you've ever come up with!
-Become a...
-Happy Pig!
-Skinnier version.
Labels: Capitalism, givebacks, Indonesia, offshoring, Race to Bottom, wages
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
No Man Is An Island?
The Wave
Ernst could take it no longer!
Wages cut in half and all vacation
time cancelled.
Time to speak out! He was a bit
of a parliamentarian, and found
the obscure provision in the
Employee Handbook that enabled
a single worker to call a meeting.
Couldn’t leave anything to chance,
of course, so phoned all he could
to get promises of support, and
hear the individual grievances he
could get expressed at the right
moment.
The Board sent the CEO, first occasion
he was actually caught working.
Ernst rose, and swayed, and began speaking.
The whole surrounding audience seemed
to leap chromatically.
But he calmed down to deliver his prepared
remarks, mostly to the effect that too
many rights had been viciously stripped!
There were places where he invited other
comments. There were none.
“So it seems,” CEO laughed, alone on the stage,
“that we have a Revolution of One!”
The audience around Ernst joined the laughter
as if their life depended on it.
Then abruptly stopped as the CEO hissed:
“And in this time of serverest danger to
The Nation!”
Ernst’s test then was not to look ashamed.
Not a hint! as he finished strongly to
vast, vast silence. Can silence groan?
When he was alone in his cubicle, with
just the guard helping him gather his
things, individuals dropped by to tell him
why they couldn’t risk...etc etc.
Only Broadwell told the truth. “I didn’t help
because I'm a coward. I watched that
squealing little pisser berate you and
did nothing!”
The guard informed the crying man: “Enough!”
One woman allowed in, and she imparted
that all the women thought of it as just
another male folly.
Ernst went to his car escorted by the
guard carrying the box.
A bicycle stood there, a long legal notice
taped thereon.
The guard helped him secure the box to the
handlebars with the tape, and Ernst shoved
the notice down his shirt.
The bike proved to have an eccentric front
wheel, delighting everyone in the town
who saw him. Most waved.
Labels: Capitalism, CEO, employee meeting, firing, rebellion, stacked deck, vacation, wages, workers' rights, workplace
Thursday, February 19, 2015
The Nose on Your Ear
-Well, paid all my bills except the one.
-Run outa checks?
-Nope. Lost it.
-Call up! Ask them how much, etcetera.
-Don't remember who they is!
-If you was a company, you flop!
-Ah, but not before firing half the workers.
-Go on!
-Eliminating all vacations and overtime!
-Bingo!
-And then cutting the wages of the remaining
terrorized in half!
-Capitalism is one slicing marvel! Is the Big
Boss done?
-Raids the pension plan.
-Where you been? They’s gone long ago! Replaced
by IRAs, or THE WALL STREET BONANZA GOUGE.
-No matter, for now that he's whipped you into
submission, you're the chief selling-point
when he unloads to a competitor.
-Another Republican?
-Mais oui! What else?
-I can get ALONG with this new guy!
-First one fired!
-Too bad. I came close to working for nothing!
-That's the perfection they're aiming for.
They call it the Right To Work For Nothing.
-Well, good luck to the seven left.
-They're dismissed! Plant moves South!
-His first mistake! To the Land of Take This
Job and Shove It ?
-Things get shoved all right! Up the rectum
of the most docile and cowardly workers
in the world!
-Outside of Asia?
-Asian companies come there. Case closed.
-Will Cornpone Capitalism save the world?
-Undoubtedly! Plain as the nose on your ear.
-Psychosomatic. Now that I'm fired, I expect
it to migrate back to its proper place.
-We must keep our place. Therein lies happiness!
-Lies happen!
Labels: American Capitalism, benefits, Cornpone Capitalism, low wages, pay, Race to Bottom, Republican, Right To Work, South, Southern worker, wages, Wall Street
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Present Economic History of The United States
Marie became a Barista!
She phoned home right away. Her father answered.
“I’m always proud, but this time prouder!" He cried.
When she got home, the party was already swinging, Aunt Dot,
who had gotten the express bus, atop the antique console TV,
lifting her skirt for a tarantella. Her panties sported Disney characters.
Her father continued to cry. Her mother never, but smiled more
than thinly for once.
“Barista” filtered through the apartments, and even outside. Marie took a break to get the mail, and old Mr Tompkinson felt her up.
Mailman Jicky dug an elbow into his back, and his nose crashed into his exact mailbox, springing it.
“Coincidence,” Jicky laughed, revealing a missing front tooth.
The old man cried that he was only teasing, but was ignored.
“What's it with the mouth?”
“Hey! Why should a Barista worry? Anyway, your government has
taken most of my benefits away.”
“Baristas get Dental!
“So maybe you'll help me become one of you then? I'm getting
bought out, but so far they only offer McDonalds coupons.”
“It's funny...I got good news and nobody else has.”
“I'm dropping by for a belt!”
“More the merrier!”
Labels: barista, benefits, Dental Insurance, wages
Monday, November 04, 2013
Holding Few Cards
Small Factory
-The Old Man having crushed the Union in order to
enter Reactionary Heaven, we get Junior appointing a
Negotiating Committee of Management-Licking Toads.
-What have they negotiated away thus far?
-Half the vacation, half the medical, but only a third
of the wages.
-That last being the good news?
-There's more. Junior is leaving us to run
for Republican something or other.
-He fits perfectly into The Party of Endless
Fuck-around.
Labels: labor negotiation, management, medical, Republican, toady, vacation, wages
