Monday, July 06, 2015
Labor Policy
-What’s it with all these days off? Vacations too!
Doctors’ appointments? Do you ever, like,
freakin WORK?
-I drop by.
-I’m a Republican. Get with it!
-I do have a core job, mid the emasculating benefits.
-And is there a place where you can be adequately beaten?...just kidding!
-For how long?
Labels: benefits, corporal punishment, days off, job, Republican, vacation, vacation days, work
Thursday, February 19, 2015
The Nose on Your Ear
-Well, paid all my bills except the one.
-Run outa checks?
-Nope. Lost it.
-Call up! Ask them how much, etcetera.
-Don't remember who they is!
-If you was a company, you flop!
-Ah, but not before firing half the workers.
-Go on!
-Eliminating all vacations and overtime!
-Bingo!
-And then cutting the wages of the remaining
terrorized in half!
-Capitalism is one slicing marvel! Is the Big
Boss done?
-Raids the pension plan.
-Where you been? They’s gone long ago! Replaced
by IRAs, or THE WALL STREET BONANZA GOUGE.
-No matter, for now that he's whipped you into
submission, you're the chief selling-point
when he unloads to a competitor.
-Another Republican?
-Mais oui! What else?
-I can get ALONG with this new guy!
-First one fired!
-Too bad. I came close to working for nothing!
-That's the perfection they're aiming for.
They call it the Right To Work For Nothing.
-Well, good luck to the seven left.
-They're dismissed! Plant moves South!
-His first mistake! To the Land of Take This
Job and Shove It ?
-Things get shoved all right! Up the rectum
of the most docile and cowardly workers
in the world!
-Outside of Asia?
-Asian companies come there. Case closed.
-Will Cornpone Capitalism save the world?
-Undoubtedly! Plain as the nose on your ear.
-Psychosomatic. Now that I'm fired, I expect
it to migrate back to its proper place.
-We must keep our place. Therein lies happiness!
-Lies happen!
Labels: American Capitalism, benefits, Cornpone Capitalism, low wages, pay, Race to Bottom, Republican, Right To Work, South, Southern worker, wages, Wall Street
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Present Economic History of The United States
Marie became a Barista!
She phoned home right away. Her father answered.
“I’m always proud, but this time prouder!" He cried.
When she got home, the party was already swinging, Aunt Dot,
who had gotten the express bus, atop the antique console TV,
lifting her skirt for a tarantella. Her panties sported Disney characters.
Her father continued to cry. Her mother never, but smiled more
than thinly for once.
“Barista” filtered through the apartments, and even outside. Marie took a break to get the mail, and old Mr Tompkinson felt her up.
Mailman Jicky dug an elbow into his back, and his nose crashed into his exact mailbox, springing it.
“Coincidence,” Jicky laughed, revealing a missing front tooth.
The old man cried that he was only teasing, but was ignored.
“What's it with the mouth?”
“Hey! Why should a Barista worry? Anyway, your government has
taken most of my benefits away.”
“Baristas get Dental!
“So maybe you'll help me become one of you then? I'm getting
bought out, but so far they only offer McDonalds coupons.”
“It's funny...I got good news and nobody else has.”
“I'm dropping by for a belt!”
“More the merrier!”
Labels: barista, benefits, Dental Insurance, wages
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Buying Benefits
CEO and Doctor
-For years you told me I had to move this bloat around
or die.
-Not any more. A surrogate can do it, and we extract the
benefits to inject into you twice weekly.
-Who and what?
-Young Jenkins, runs ten miles thrice weekly and fifteen hard
ones on the weekend.
-Whew! How long can...?
-He'll be able to do three years and then into rehab.
-Really wastes him? The treatment?
-Does it!
-Well it's a far far better thing he does...
-Uh huh? Then we'll be off to another Jenkins.
-They're rewarded, of course.
-Within limits.
Labels: benefits, benefits of exercise, CEO, exercise, proxy, rich
